I had my Avastin infusion yesterday morning.  No lab work needed to be done so it was a relatively quick appointment.  The only hiccup was when the nurse came to deaccess my port.  The two of us were talking about books that our boys were reading and she pulled out the needle and after a few seconds she glanced down and noticed that there was blood pouring out of my port!  By the time we noticed there was a problem it was all over the front of my shirt.  She quickly put the bandaid on it and then applied pressure to my port.  After a minute or two it had stopped and the nurses put a big piece of gauze and a large bandaid over it.  The nurse who had deaccessed me said that she had never seen a port do that before, but another nurse said that it happens every once in a while so she didn't seem too concerned.  I wonder if the Avastin is causing my blood to take longer to coagulate.  I will have to mention it to my doctor the next time I come in.

Here is a picture of my shirt when I came home.  The nurse felt really bad and offered me some hydrogen peroxide to use there at Huntsman, but I didn't want to have to go home with a wet shirt so I declined.

This morning when I took the bandaid off I noticed that the skin covering my port was all yellow - I'm not sure if that is bruising from the pressure on it yesterday or if it is blood under the skin.  I will just have to keep an eye on it.

I'm reminded again today just have fragile life is...

On my drive to my infusion this morning (I left around 6:15 a.m.), I heard a news report on the radio that there had been an auto-pedestrian accident at an intersection very close to my house.  I didn't think much about it until my husband called around 8:00 a.m. to tell me that that section of road was blocked off (and this was more than an hour after I first heard about the accident).  I looked around on the internet to see if I could find any news reports on the accident and the only thing I found was what I already knew.  Then on my drive home I purposely drove by that section of road and it was still blocked off - there was a fire truck there and they were hosing down a section of the road.  When I got home I found that the news report had been updated and that it was a middle school gym teacher who was jogging to school and had been hit and killed!  I knew immediately that it was M&M's gym teacher.  He is in our church stake and I have frequently seen him jogging to or from the school for work.  He has been teaching at the school for 17 years.  We have seen him frequently outside of the school setting at church events and he has a son that was in the marching band with M&M.  Right after I had read that news report I got a message from M&M confirming that it was in fact her teacher.  This was her response after I asked a few questions:

"It was really sad, we passed it on our way to seminary. A couple of girls in our class were there when it happened, and when they came in they were shaking, so when our class found out it was pretty much dead silent."

I had just been commenting over the last month or two about how neat (and strange at the same time) it was to see so many people that we associate with on a non-church level at church functions.  I have seen M&M's gym teacher at numerous events both with the church and marching band in the last little while.  Even though I did not associate with him on a personal level, I am saddened to think about those people that he was close to and how it will affect them.  It really brings to home the fact that life is so very fragile and any of us can be taken home to our Heavenly Father at any time.  That fact hit me really hard last year when I was first diagnosed with cancer and even though my life has been prolonged for the moment, it is events like these that make me realize that I need to be grateful for every second that is given to me and spend my time and energy on those things and people that are most important to me.  

My thoughts and prayers are with this teacher's family & friends at this time.  I hope they will find peace and feel of Heavenly Father's love.

Had a pretty full day today.  I started out with my mom coming over to watch the kids for me so I could go to my appointment with my surgeon.  It was a pretty routine visit and everything looks fine as far as she can tell.  (Although my blood pressure always seems to be really high when I am in that office!)  I think she is a little concerned with how often I am having CT scans done, but it is because of the study that I am on...  I'm not sure if there is much I can do about that...

After my doctor's visit I went to get my second haircut.  The lady that has been cutting my hair said that my hair in the front just isn't growing as quickly as the hair in the back and on the sides.  That is something that I had noticed as well but I thought that maybe I was just imagining it!  She cut a little more off of the back and sides since it has grown so much since my last visit - already 6 weeks ago!  I was definitely feeling shaggy again!  I especially don't like the hair around my ears when it gets long!  My hairdresser thinks that I will probably need one or two more cuts before it is all an even length on the top.  Then I'll need to decide if I want to keep this length or not.

After my hair appointment I fed the girls lunch and then my dad came over to watch the girls while I went to the dermatologist for a follow-up appointment.  The dermatologist was really pleased with how my side was healing and said that she didn't think we needed to do anything more to it unless I start to feel it coming back.  She then asked if there was anything else that she could do for me and I asked her about a couple of red, raised spots that I have had on my skin for years.  She said that they could be easily removed and that she could do it right then if I wanted.  So she numbed up both spots and scraped them off and then bandaged them up.  One of the spots is on my chest and whenever I would wear a lower cut shirt MJ in particular would play with it whenever she was sitting in my lap.  I was given some vaseline to keep the spots from drying out and told to keep them covered.  Apparently dermatologists are finding that people are becoming sensitive to many of the topical creams out there so they just recommend that you put vaseline on any spots that need to heal instead of something like Neosporin or some of the other creams out there.  I thought that that was interesting.

After my dermatologist visit I got home and was able to sit down for just a few minutes before M&M came home and I needed to take her to get her hair cut - it has been a long while for her and I have always been the one to cut it.  I thought that she might like a more professional cut this time (plus she wanted some bangs) so I took her to the lady in the neighborhood that has been cutting mine - nice and convenient.

Then I came home and made dinner, rushed off to a pack meeting for our cub scout pack and then rushed off to the last hour of my Sounds of the Season rehearsal.  I am loving playing with this group again - I missed it last year - and they actually needed a bassoon this year so we are having M&M play with us as well.  It's been pretty fun playing with her and helping her out with the music.  She is doing really good for being as young as she is and having not even been playing bassoon for 2 years yet!

It was a super busy day today!!

Here is a really good talk given by Brad Wilcox about the Grace of Jesus Christ - excellent analogy and explanation.

Things have been a little crazy lately.  I keep hearing of more and more people diagnosed with different types of cancer...  There are two people close to our family right now that are dealing with cancer - one is currently going through chemo treatments for breast cancer and the other is going through lots of testing and scans right now to determine if it is cancer and how best to treat it.  The second person is undergoing a major surgery today.  All of this has been bringing back so many memories of what I went through a little over a year ago now...  I remember so clearly all of the tests and scans and doctors' visits and phone calls with more bad news - just when you have been hoping and praying that you would finally get the good news that you have been wanting so desperately to hear...  Even though I have gone through (and continue to go through) some similar experiences, I still don't know what to say to people in the middle of it.  Each type of cancer is a little bit different and each personal experience is different as well.  Our family's thoughts and prayers are with each of you right now.

Got my results from the breast MRI - no sign of anything abnormal.  Those are the results that I like to hear!

My CA-125 number is now down to 19!

I've had a little bit of eye-twitching in my left eye once again.  It comes and goes.  Not sure if it is related to the infusion or not.

Went in for a Breast MRI this morning, followed up by a dr's appt with my oncologist at Huntsman and then an infusion.  I had to be at the clinic at 7:30 a.m. for lab work and then went over for my MRI appt at 8:15.  I was a little nervous about the MRI because the one I had a year ago wasn't very pleasant.  For the breast MRI you have to lay face down on the table and then you go inside the machine backwards.  This one was actually not too bad.  I definitely prefer the way they do the scan at Huntsman to the way it was done at St. Mark's last year.  At St. Mark's they told me that they would not be able to talk to me at all during the scan and I wasn't allowed to listen to any music - they just had head phones on my ears to dampen the sound of the scan.  At first it wasn't too bad but then you lose all sense of time and at one point I almost started to panic, wondering when it would be over.  At Huntsman the lady put me on the table and made sure that I was comfortable and then she said there would be a series of 4 scans - the first three were about 4-6 minutes each and then the last one would be the longest at 8-9 minutes.  She said that she would talk to me in-between each one and then she let me pick what kind of music I wanted to listen to.  It was definitely a much more pleasant experience!

Once my scan was done I had almost 2 hours before my dr's appt.  So I walked over to the waiting room for my clinic and then just sat there doing some work on my ipad and reading.  About 45 minutes before my appt I checked in just in case they were running ahead of schedule.  They called me right back, not realizing that I had already had my lab work done.  They weighed me and took my temperature and blood pressure and my heart rate and then sent me back out to the waiting room for a little while longer.  They when they called me back again I had to wait quite a while before anyone came in to see me.  I had the fellow doctor that I saw back in March again and he did the initial exam before the doctor came in.  Everyone was curious to take a look at my side where I had the sore.  At first my doctor was all concerned about it and telling me that next time I should make sure to call them first and go in to see one of their doctors at Huntsman.  Then when she finally realized that I had gone to a dermatologist at the Huntsman center's satellite office (which is much closer to me), she was much happier and pleased about it.  They were able to pull up the results from the lab work done on my side and print it out for me.  Apparently it was officially diagnosed as a type of cyst.  My oncologist said that if the dermatologist needed to do some minor surgery on the site, it shouldn't be a problem with the Avastin that I am on.

After my dr's appt, I had a little bit of time before my infusion so I went up to the eatery and got myself something to eat for lunch.  Then I went down and checked in for my infusion.  I didn't have too long to wait before they called me back.  I have now become one of those people in the infusion room that I used to envy - those that come in, get their treatment and then leave in less than an hour!  Today they got my Avastin really quickly, even the nurse was surprised.  I was finally in and out in less than an hour!  It was very nice!

The new antibiotic that I am on for the sore on my side makes me a little bit nauseous for about 30-60 minutes right after taking it.  Thankfully I only have to take it twice a day and I just have another day and a half left of it.  The hole is finally starting to close up so I just stopped wearing a bandaid over it a day or two ago.  Hopefully my skin will recover quickly from wearing a constant bandaid on that spot. I need to call the dermatologist to schedule a follow-up appointment for sometime next week.  It still feels like there is a little bit of a hard spot under the skin so I won't be surprised if they want to cut me open a little more to remove it all...

I feel like my hair is getting shaggy again.  I'm still debating with myself as to how long or short I want to keep it.  DH likes it the length it is right now and there are definitely benefits to it.  It looks pretty crazy in the mornings when I wake up so on the mornings where I have to drive Blondie to orchestra before school I usually put a hat on my head.  This morning after I came back home and took the hat off, Kay saw me and said, "Whoa Mom!  Crazy hair!"  Here's a picture of it this morning: