My blood pressure was fine again today.  It took almost 2 hours to finally get the Avastin (which was quite annoying), but once it came everything went smoothly.  This may be my last Avastin infusion.

Just got a call from the nurse at Huntsman saying that my breast MRI results came back normal.  Definitely some good news in the midst of everything else.

My dad came to watch MJ while I went in for my breast MRI.  The nurse that accessed my port for me is the same one that I have talked to about my father-in-law in the past so she asked me how he was doing.  I said that he had passed away and she was sorry to hear that.  Although we both agreed that it was probably a blessing for him that he went quickly and didn't have to suffer for an extended length of time...

My MRI went fine and thankfully I didn't have to cough at all!  (I still have a little bit of a cough.)  One slightly annoying thing about each of my scans and MRIs is that I alway seem to have to fill out the same paperwork and answer the same questions everytime.  It is slightly annoying when the answers have not changed from one scan to the next and they should have access to all of my medical records anyways!  So no, I am not pregnant and there is no chance that I will be.  My family history of breast cancer and ovarian cancer has not changed.  I do not have diabetes and I am not on any type of dialysis.  I have never worked as a metal worker or had any type of job working with metal.  The only metal in my body is my power port and a dental implant.  (Although I can never seem to find the right check box to mark for the power port.  I actually had to look up some of the questions on the internet because I didn't even know what they were asking!)  And even though they had called me two weeks before to ask me questions before the MRI that I cancelled, they had to call two weeks later and ask the exact same questions!

We got back in town early this morning from Washington.  We had a really nice funeral for Dad N.  All four of his kids spoke, his daughter sang a beautiful song and all of the grandkids sang, "I Am a Child of God."  My husband helped to write a nice obituary for him:  Dad N's obituary
It all still seems surreal that he is gone.  I imagine we will be feeling that way for quite some time.

Today I had an appointment with my surgeon.  She was wondering if maybe my recent sickness threw off my CA-125 number.  She seemed a little more concerned about the recent jump but also agreed that there is really nothing to do unless we actually have more definitive proof that cancer has returned and that we can see it somewhere.  Other than that things were fine with the appointment.  I will go back again in 4 months.

My husband flew up to Washington this evening to be with his mom and siblings.  There is a lot of planning they need to do and loose ends to tie.

I was supposed to have my annual breast MRI today but called in and rescheduled it for two weeks later.  I have a really bad cold/cough right now and can just picture myself in the tube trying to lay still for my MRI and needing to cough really badly...

Yesterday we heard from my mother-in-law that Dad N is not doing well at all.  Hospice care came in Sunday and said that they gave him about 5 days.  My husband was going to fly up this evening to be there with them but then we got a call just after lunch that he had passed away.  We are still in shock. Dad N was 66 years old.  We saw him just over a week ago and now he is gone.  He lasted less than a week after his doctor predicted 4-6 weeks.

Got word from the nurse on my CA-125 number today.  Unfortunately it has gone up again and I am above normal now.  My number was 41 - with 35 and lower being normal.  The doctors aren't too concerned at this point and are fine waiting until my CT scan in December to see if there are any other indications of the cancer returning.  The nurse said that absent of any other symptoms or cancer indications in my CT scan they still will not do anything.  The nurse also commented that she has never liked having to call people with their CA-125 results because it is not always reliable and at this point they are not going to do anything anyways.  If they have no other signs that the cancer has returned, then they have no way to know how to fight what they can't see.  Unfortunately I have never really had many signs to begin with so we will just have to wait and see with my CT scan.  If my CA-125 is still elevated when I have my labs taken again in 6 weeks then I will be pulled from the study.  So I may just have one more Avastin infusion.  I told my husband that maybe this is God's way of telling me that I need to go off of the study and off of the Avastin!!

My husband and I have had discussions before about my cancer and whether or not I have any impressions about whether it will come back or not.  And while I have not really felt one way or another about how long I might live, I told him quite frankly once that while I have met many cancer survivors who try and give me hope on my future, I have never met anyone with stage 4 cancer who has survived...  That doesn't mean that I won't beat it, but it is a sobering thought.

My appointment and infusion went fine today.  Things have been a little crazy with our family schedule though!  We just got back on Monday night from Washington.  My husband's sister got married!  The wedding was very nice and it was good to see family that we hadn't seen in a while.  And it was good to meet our new brother-in-law finally!  The hard part about the wedding was seeing my father-in-law.  He is not doing well.  He has not wanted his health info shared until now so I haven't mentioned it in my blog other than to say that a close family member was going through some struggles with cancer.  My father-in-law was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma about a year ago.  Right before Thanksgiving he had one of his kidneys removed, but it had already spread to his spine and lungs.  After that they have been trying different chemo drugs on him to see if they can stop or at least slow the growth of the cancer.  It has definitely been a roller coaster seeing how different drugs have affected him, both physically and mentally.  This weekend he was in quite a bit of pain and was definitely having a hard time getting around.  He has lost a lot of weight and doesn't have much appetite.  He slept most of the time we were there and quite frankly the events with the wedding really wore him out.  He was able to walk his daughter down the aisle though and it was a sweet experience for all who participated.  After we left town though they went in for some lab work and doctors appointments and found out that the doctor believes that his liver and remaining kidney are both failing.  There are some things they can try to maybe prolong his life, but at this point they are giving him 4-6 weeks to live.