Okay, I think my posts are getting pretty boring lately. I feel fine (other than a bit of a headache off and on) and the kids are finally getting over their sicknesses as well. I went to a ward baptism this morning and then spent the rest of the day doing a little bit of cleaning and running some errands.

Now onto some more interesting stuff! Lately I have been thinking about some things that I should blog about, but when my kids are around, blogging is hard to do. When I have my ipad out and I am trying to use that, MJ and Kay both think that it is a toy and want to play with it. Whenever I get on our desktop computer to blog from there, MJ wants to come over and sit on my lap and then she ends up trying to play with the keyboard or mouse and I am not able to get anything productive done. Sometimes I try and blog during MJ's naptime, but sometimes I would like to just lay down and relax while she's napping or sit and watch and kid show or two with Kay. Well, enough about my difficulties in blogging, here is what I have been wanting to blog about: my head gear.

It is amazing to me how cold my head can get with no hair on it. I'm not sure if men who have gone bald, or men who choose to shave their head just get used to it after a while or if my hormone changes has affected me as well. Sometimes I will walk around the house with nothing on my head, but when my head starts feeling cold I will quickly put a hat on to warm me up. I have several hats that I will wear around the house and several that I will wear if I am going out somewhere. Most of my "house hats" I do not wear out in public because I think that anyone who sees me in one of these hats will know that I have cancer - and it's not something that I like to announce to total strangers.

Usually when I go out in public though I will wear my wig. It's taken me a little while to get used to seeing myself in it, but I am fine with it now. Some people that I know that haven't seen me in my wig still have a hard time recognizing me at first. The wig is super easy to wear. I have gotten pretty quick at just throwing on my wig and making sure that the hairs are in place and then I'm ready to go. I don't have to brush or style my hair everyday - it just pretty much stays the same day in and day out. And it only needs to be washed every couple of weeks - super easy maintenance. I am fine with people seeing me bald, but I would prefer it be people that already know me and my story. What I don't want is to go out in public and have people - complete strangers - feeling sorry for me because they can tell just by looking at me that I have cancer. The truth is that I feel completely healthy at this time and don't want people that I don't know treating me differently because of what they see.

Now, there are also some downsides to wearing a wig. My biggest fear with wearing a wig is that it will blow off in the wind. It can be quite windy here where we live and there have been several times in the last couple of days where I have been concerned about this while walking outside between my car and a store. I also have this fear when wearing a hat - especially one of my wide=brimmed hats - but I don't feel weird putting a hand on my hat to keep it from flying away. I do feel weird about putting my hand on my wig to make sure it doesn't fly away!

One of my other fears is that one of younger kids will pull my wig off. This especially concerns me when I am at church in Sacrament Meeting and they are crawling all over me. I try not to take my wig off when MJ is watching because I think she might get it into her head that she can pull it off too whenever she wants. Then there's Kay who just likes to see my bald head and is always fascinated by it and my wig. In fact there have been several times where she has tried grabbing my wig and saying something like, "I want to see your bald head.

When I first was losing my hair, I always had the fear that I would forget to put a hat on when someone came to the door. I don't really fear that anymore, but I still like to have something on my head when people stop by.

I very rarely wear my wig around the house. Usually when I come home, I will go up to my room and take it off and put a hat on in its place. Partly it is so that I don't ruin it or get it dirty when I sit on the couch or cook in the kitchen or clean. Also, MJ has always loved to play with my hair and when I wear the wig around the house she will pull on the hair when I am holding her and I am afraid that she will pull the hairs out of the wig if she tugs too hard.

For bed I will usually wear a really light-weight hat made out of a knit fabric. I have found that a lot of times my head will get cold because of what my head is touching - like the couch or my pillow. Sometimes I will wake up in a hot sweat from being too hot (and the wonderful h ot flashes of menopause). Because of this, sometimes I prefer not to wear a hat to bed - but then I have the problem of my head being too cold on my pillow. I finally tried putting a fleece blanket on top of my pillow and that is much warmer to sleep on then my cotton/polyester pillow case. So lately I usually just sleep with no hat on and a fleece blanket on my pillow and my head is fine at night. Although sometimes I don't realize how cold my head is until I put a hand on it and feel how cold I really am.