I've been trying to put together a blog post for some time and I'm getting close to posting it. I think I will divide it up into parts though because it is pretty long and I know when I am faced with reading a long blog post or article, I usually end up just skimming it and don't feel I have the time to spend reading the whole thing thoroughly. So here is the first part of what I would like to post. Stay tuned for more entries!

I have always been a happy person as far back as I can remember. I don't think I have ever been depressed. I have had down days of course but I don't think I would ever call it depression. I don't bear grudges for very long and am not offended very easily. I am always laughing at myself and sometimes it drives my husband crazy at how easily I laugh at the mistakes that I make. I feel that life is too short to get angry at myself for mistakes that we all make because we are human. Quite often I will appear angry to my kids and then turn my head and smile or laugh because I am just appearing angry to get them to do something. I think that my attitude towards life has helped me a lot throughout this trial of cancer that I am going through. I loved President Hinckley and how happy he always was and that he was always cracking jokes. He is one of my heroes and I hope I can always emulate his attitude towards life.

When I was hospitalized for several days following my surgery I had the opportunity to interact with many different nurses and healthcare workers. I will always remember one of the nurses that took care of me one night. I think it was Friday night (my 3rd night there). I had two night nurses that were very interested in talking with me and hearing my story - how I discovered the cancer and the treatments that I had been through up to that point. One of the nurses after she heard my story asked me a question that made me stop and think. She asked, "How can you be so happy and still laugh after all you have been through?" I didn't realize until she asked me that question that I really am a happy person and that I love life, no matter what gets thrown at me. I have thought about that question a lot since that night and I hope to answer that question a little over some of the next posts that I write.

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To swim or not to swim, that is the question! I signed up the older 4 kids for swimming lessons and they started on Monday. The oldest two have their lessons first for a half hour and then the middle two kids have their turn. I knew that it would be difficult sitting on the side of the pool with the two youngest kids, trying to entertain them and keep them out of the pool. I had quite the time at their first lesson and am debating now if I should just pay for me and Kay to use the pool and then let the younger two get in the water. The problem is that I definitely can't wear my wig in the pool and I think it would look weird if I were to wear a hat in an indoor pool! The other kids can swim before and after their lessons for free and MJ would be free because she is under 4. Kay is kind of bummed that I didn't sign her up for lessons so maybe in the fall I will look into putting her in some lessons while the other kids are in school.

Tonight I went to our Relief Society activity. I really debated whether I wanted to go or not. I haven't been to many Relief Society activities since I was diagnosed with cancer and I think it is because I don't want people making a big deal of me showing up and singling me out among the group. I finally decided at the last minute to go and I had a good time talking with some people that I haven't interacted with much lately. I'm glad that I made the decision to go. We have a lot of neat sisters in our ward.

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