Filling in some blanks:

Here is some info that I forgot to add to some of my posts. I will add it to the correct day, but wanted to add a separate post for those that are already up-to-date on reading my previous posts.

Monday, October 17
I got a call this morning from the director of Sounds of the Season. I was going to email her today to let her know what is going on with me, but apparently someone beat me to it. I have been debating what to tell her and what to do about it this year. I would love to play with the group again because it is something that I really enjoy doing, but I'm not sure if it is something that I will even be able to do this year. Plus it is looking like my surgery will most likely be scheduled sometime in the first week or two of December - right around the performance time of the group. Well, the director basically told me that she doesn't want me to participate this year because of everything I will be going through and that I need to just focus on myself and my family and getting myself better so that I can come back next year. I am kind of sad, but know that this is for the best with everyone's best interest in mind. The last thing I want to do is have them plan on me to play with the group and then not be able to do it when the time comes.


Wednesday, October 19
I got my first flu shot today. I asked DH on our way to Huntsman if he thought that the doctor would want me to get a flu shot with everything that will going on with my immune system during my treatments. Well, DH asked the doctor while we were meeting with her and without hesitation she said, "Yes, we'll do that right now." So the nurse went off and got the papers for me to sign and gave me the shot right there before we left. I didn't even have time to think about it. DH also decided that he should probably get a shot as well this year so he did a couple of days later at work.


Thursday, October 20
Before I left the infusion room they gave me a shot of something that is supposed to shut down my ovaries. One of the absolute worst things that could happen right now would be for me to get pregnant while I am going through chemotherapy and having all of these drugs pumped into my body. They said that one of the side effects of the shot can be hot flashes - basically like I am going through menopause. What fun! Not only do I have the chemo drugs in me that will have who knows what side effects on my body, but I also may have menopause like side effects from this shot!


Friday, October 28
Today is the first day I have worn jeans in a while. I have mostly just been lounging around the house in sweats and workout type pants. I have lost some weight because the jeans that I usually wear are practically falling off of me. I think it a combination of not having a big appetite lately, stopping breastfeeding and hopefully the tumor shrinking...

I think I need a new pillow. I finally went to sleep at a decent hour last night, but I don't think I slept too well and I woke up with a headache. That's always bad news for me. It usually means that my neck is out of whack and the headache will get progressively worse throughout the day. I also had some weird dreams last night about waking up and finding clumps of my hair had fallen out in the night... I am able to manage through the day without taking anything for my headache, but then take some Tylenol before bedtime. I didn't take a nap again in hopes that I will get another good night of rest.

When I showered and brushed my hair this morning, I didn't notice any hair coming out so I am crossing my fingers! Hopefully cutting my hair will slow down the process. I'm nervous to even touch my hair during the day for fear that too much contact will make it fall out quicker!

A friend watches the girls for me this morning so I can make a run to the store again. It is definitely a much easier task without my kids with me. It's a pretty normal day for me and I feel fine. How can I feel so normal and healthy with something so deadly inside of me? It just doesn't seem possible...

I get an email this afternoon from the company I ordered the wig from saying that the package has been shipped! Talk about quick service!! I'm nervous/excited all at the same time. The estimated delivery date is next Monday.

We had a primary presidency meeting this evening. Wonderful ladies that I serve with. It is definitely a frustrating calling at times though! We seem to have so many callings that we are always trying to fill and not enough people to pick from! We have a lot on our plates to deal with and lots to prepare for when the kids all move up classes in January. I hope I am able to stay healthy enough to fulfill my calling and not need to be released. Right now I am able to manage just fine, but unfortunately I know that there are many rough days ahead of me. I know that it is a concern of the bishop (and stake president), especially since our president is dealing with her own major health issues.