I have not blogged a lot about anything to do with religion and my beliefs, but at this point I think that I need to explain some of what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS or Mormon).

Many people are still amazed with how well I seem to be doing and how I have dealt with this trial of cancer so far. While it is definitely not something that I ever expected to go through at this age, I strongly believe that my family and I are going through this trial for a reason and that we will be stronger because of it.

President Henry B. Eyring of our LDS leadership gave an excellent talk in the last General Conference, that is now entitled "Mountains to Climb", which expresses a lot of how I feel. He mentions the importance of having a "foundation of faith" that will help sustain us through our trials. Here is a quote from his talk that expresses how I feel, "If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions, we can choose the right with the guidance of the Spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. And with prophets revealing to us our place in the plan of salvation, we can live with perfect hope and a feeling of peace. We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word."

I strongly believe that the Lord gives us our specific trials for specific reasons and that if we endure them well, our faith will be strengthened and we will be blessed. That does not mean that the trials will always end how we would like them to or that they will be removed from us. The Lord's ways are higher than ours and He knows the beginning and the end. I know that He will help me and my family to get through this trial, whatever the outcome may be, and that He will always be there to help lift and support me and anyone who asks for His help.

Sometimes I think that people don't believe me when I say that I am doing fine, but that is the truth. I may not like what I am having to go through right now, but I feel at peace with it and that is enough for me. For me that means that I will carry on as best as I can everyday that is given to me. I have been blessed in so many ways that there is no way I could be angry with God.  We will always be in His debt.

On Sunday I was watching a show with the kids and it quotes one of the Psalms in the Bible which really hit me this time around. It is Psalm 23:

"1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." (Old Testament, Psalms, Psalm 23)

How many times have I heard this psalm either through reading it or through song and it hasn't hit me before like this time that I heard it? To me this passage of scripture means that the Lord will always be there for me. When I follow Him down the paths of righteousness He will be there to guide me and to strengthen me. Because of this, there is nothing to fear! I will always be blessed for doing what is right! That is the promise we are given. (And no that doesn't mean that the blessing will always be immediate. Sometimes we have to wait for it, but we are promised that blessings will come.)

Well, I decided to go swimming with the kids yesterday.  That means that I went out into public with nothing on my head!  I felt a little self-conscious, especially since my port and the scar above my port was not covered up at all by my swimsuit.  It's nice though to have the kids with me to focus my attention on instead of what other people might think of how I look.  It was also pretty exhausting trying to stay close to both of the little ones the whole time.  We'll probably be making this a regular thing as long as the older kids have lessons through the end of the month.