Got word from the nurse on my CA-125 number today.  Unfortunately it has gone up again and I am above normal now.  My number was 41 - with 35 and lower being normal.  The doctors aren't too concerned at this point and are fine waiting until my CT scan in December to see if there are any other indications of the cancer returning.  The nurse said that absent of any other symptoms or cancer indications in my CT scan they still will not do anything.  The nurse also commented that she has never liked having to call people with their CA-125 results because it is not always reliable and at this point they are not going to do anything anyways.  If they have no other signs that the cancer has returned, then they have no way to know how to fight what they can't see.  Unfortunately I have never really had many signs to begin with so we will just have to wait and see with my CT scan.  If my CA-125 is still elevated when I have my labs taken again in 6 weeks then I will be pulled from the study.  So I may just have one more Avastin infusion.  I told my husband that maybe this is God's way of telling me that I need to go off of the study and off of the Avastin!!

My husband and I have had discussions before about my cancer and whether or not I have any impressions about whether it will come back or not.  And while I have not really felt one way or another about how long I might live, I told him quite frankly once that while I have met many cancer survivors who try and give me hope on my future, I have never met anyone with stage 4 cancer who has survived...  That doesn't mean that I won't beat it, but it is a sobering thought.