Sent DH to work because I was feeling fine and didn't have anything scheduled for the day. He had some people visiting the office from out of town and had missed them from the previous day because of my appointment. I got a call a little later that morning telling me that the oncologist wanted me to come in at noon that day. I asked what for and she said she didn't know. I called my mom to see if she could come and watch the kids for me and then called DH at work. He offered to come home to go with me to the oncologist, but I felt that I would be fine and could go on my own. I said a little prayer on the way over and felt a calm feeling that things would be okay.

When the oncologist called me back to meet with her, it was anything but good news. She told me that she had the results from the CT scan and the X-ray and she had been shocked by the findings. A large mass was found in my liver and the tumor on the ovaries is compressing one of my kidneys, limiting the outflow of it. I asked if the liver could be operated on and she said that the amount of liver affected is too large to remove without damaging the function of the liver. I asked if there was a chance that this was non-cancerous and she said there was a slight chance, but the results were consistent with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer - meaning that it has spread beyond the abdominal cavity through the blood stream. She mentioned that she had consulted with the other doctor in her practice as well as some other colleagues in the area and they all agreed that we needed to cancel the surgery and go straight to chemotherapy in the hopes of shrinking everything enough that they could operate successfully and even hopefully remove the mass in the liver.

She also said that they could not make out any semblace of an ovary on either side - the tumor is basically taking over everything. The doctor was also slightly concerned with my chest X-ray and wanted to order a breast MRI and a chest CT scan since they can both be done when breastfeeding. They also sent me to get some blood drawn to run some tests to check my liver and kidney function.

I actually did fine emotionally until the end. I just sat there across from the doctor and said, "I am healthy and strong. I feel fine. I'm 35 years old with 6 young kids. I just had a baby a little over a year ago. I just don't understand how this could be happening to me...". I was still able to keep myself composed until I left the hospital and got into my car to drive home. Then I noticed a text from my husband wanting to be updated on what was going on. I sent him a text and then he called and said he would meet me at home.

Once I got home I told my mom the update (and once again was able to stay composed). I told her that DH was on his way home so she could leave. Once DH came home I was pretty much an emotional wreck the rest of the day... Luckily our Primary President wisely postponed our presidency meeting scheduled for that evening and even brought over a dinner for our family!