This morning I took MJ with me and ran some errands and then after lunch I laid down for a nap. I was able to find some soccer cleats for Luke (since he has outgrown his). This evening I went with the rest of the Primary Presidency to visit a few families in the ward. After that I worked on the Easter dresses some before I went to bed (later than I should have).

This morning my dad came with me to my Avastin treatment. We got there right on time at 9 a.m. and after we checked in they took me back and accessed my port to draw my labs. We just sat there waiting for a while for my lab results to come back. After a little while my nurse for the day came to me and said that my blood levels were kind of low again and my doctor's nurse was offering to give me 2 units of blood if I wanted them. I was a little confused for a minute or two and asked if my levels were high enough to be treated. The nurse said yes, they were high enough and the other nurse was offering me the choice if I wanted it. After thinking for a minute I decided to decline the blood. She went back to the phone and told my doctor's nurse that I didn't want the blood and she came back with the response that if I was feeling really tired over the next day or two to call in and they would arrange for a blood transfusion. I asked the nurse for a copy of my lab results so I could look at them and she said she would print them out for me once they were all back from the lab. After some more waiting the nurse brought me the printout and I was surprised to note, after comparing it to last week's results, that my platelet count had gone up from last Wednesday, but my white and red blood cell counts had gone down slightly! I decided to call DH (who was working from home today while watching the kids for me) and we discussed whether I should get the blood transfusion. After talking it over for a few minutes we decided that if my levels were at critical levels, they wouldn't give me the option and my levels would be too low to receive the treatment. So I got off the phone with DH and then we sat there waiting again. A little while later the nurse came by and said that the head of the trial that I am on had called and given the okay to give me the infusion. So I guess at that point they put in the order for the Avastin to the pharmacy and then we had to wait and wait and wait some more before they finally got the drug from the pharmacy. They finally started my infusion more than 2 hours after I got there... The infusion itself lasted 30 minutes, then they had to flush the bag with saline solution and then we seemed to wait some more for no reason once again. The nurse finally came by with the flush for my port and finally was able to de-access me and send us on our way... We didn't leave until about 12:15! We were there for over 3 hours for a 30 minute infusion! While we were there I got a call from DH saying that he had received a call from work and things were not well and that he needed to get down there as soon as possible. Since Luke was home and my dad and I were hopefully going to be leaving soon, I told DH to just go and we would be there soon.

So my dad and I finally left for home and we got there and I had about 5 minutes before I had to leave for my mammogram which was at a different clinic. I sat with MJ for a few minutes and grabbed myself a quick snack to eat and then left my dad with the kids while I left. I got to the clinic just in time and I was surprised with how quickly everything went with the mammogram. I had to fill out a paper when I checked in and then they took me right back to change into a gown and then the technician took me back for the scans and then I was through. I was in and out of that clinic in about 15 minutes - it was awesome! And I didn't think that the mammogram was that bad at all. I would take that any day over doing a breast MRI or even going to the dentist!! The technician said that they would be sending the results of the mammogram to me and to my doctor as well.

After I got home from the mammogram I laid down for a few minutes and then I had to leave to drive the orchestra carpool for M&M and some of her friends from school. By the time I got home from that I was exhausted! Whew, what a busy day!!

More General Conference today. It's hard trying to keep the kids quiet and entertained while trying to watch the sessions. Thankfully MJ napped during the afternoon session so it was a little bit quieter. I have been able to do some hand sewing on the dresses while listening so I am getting closer to finishing. I just need to hand sew on the middle girls' dresses and then M&M's needs to be hemmed and I need to buy some ribbon for it.

After conference we went to my parents' for dinner. My sister's family was there as well and we had a good visit. I can't believe it is only one week until Easter! And Kay's birthday is this Friday! Man I have a lot to do this week to get ready for both!

Soccer games again this morning. This time we had one at 10:30 (which the other team didn't show up to) and then two games at 11:00. Sometimes it's nice to have them overlap because then you're not spending the whole day at games. General Conference today as well. I listened to some of the morning session in the car while watching M&M's game, but we also recorded it to watch later. M&M and I made some doughnuts this evening while DH was at the priesthood session. They were really good!

My eyes started really bothering me and watering while I was finishing up bathing the kids. It only lasted a few minutes, but then I felt really tired afterwards and went to bed earlier than I usually do.

My sister came by this morning with her two little boys. We had a good visit. She has some cute boys and the baby is growing up way too fast! I was able to work on the dresses again today. I am almost done with the 4 older girls' dresses, so just MJ's left to do.

Got quite a bit of sewing done today. Just a little over a week until Easter! I'm starting to get some energy back, but it has been really slow. Luke and M&M had their first soccer games of the season this evening. M&M got a ride to her game and I went to Luke's game. Blondie had practice at about the same time so I missed some of the game while I was driving to drop off and pick up Blondie. DH stopped at M&M's game on his way home from work. Now starts the craziness of soccer season!

Bum deal today!! My parents came by my house this morning so that my mom could watch the kids and my dad drove me to the clinic for my Dr's appt and infusion. Traffic was a mess this morning so we got there a few minutes late and then when the Dr came in to see me he said that they couldn't give me the infusion today because my platelet count was too low! Since I'm receiving the Avastin as part of a clinical trial we have to follow all of their protocol under what conditions I can and cannot receive treatment. The Dr who I met with said that if it wasn't for the study they would give me the infusion anyways because the Avastin doesn't affect the platelet count at all and doesn't really have anything to do with it. The first comment that the Dr made when he walked into the examining room was that I looked tired! I said that I was hoping it was due to a low red blood cell count and after he looked at those numbers he thought that that was probably the case and that my number should rebound here in the next week or two. We think that all of the chemo treatments have finally caught up with me and it is taking me longer this time around to rebound. Even though I wasn't able to receive my infusion today, I'm just glad that this didn't happen on one of my chemotherapy days because that really would have affected things more since that is an all day treatment. So the plan is to have me come back in on Monday and hopefully my platelet count will be back up by then (my number today was 59,000 and it needs to be at 75,000 or higher - normal range is 170,000-450,000). I will go straight to the infusion room and have my labs drawn there and if everything is in the acceptable range then I will have the infusion, if not then I will have to come back in on Wednesday to meet with the doctor. The only problem with Monday is that they had already scheduled me to have a mammogram on Monday at a clinic closer to my home, so they rescheduled that for early afternoon and my infusion will be in the morning (hopefully).

The Dr also said that he had looked at the results of the CT scan and that there were no signs of cancer evident in the scan. He said that there was one spot in the liver where the resection took place that showed some abnormality, but after talking with the radiology tech they were confident that it is just due to the healing still taking place in the liver and that the abnormality was consistent with someone who has had liver surgery. They will keep a close eye on that spot in future scans, but at this point it is not a concern.

After the meeting with the doctor ended I had to go over to the room where my labs are done so that they could de-access my port. So much for leaving it in!! It was a little bit of a pain during the night because it was a little uncomfortable to have my arms close together which is how I usually sleep. I finally had the thought to put a pillow in front of my chest so that I could wrap my arm around it and not have it touching my other arm.

CT scan this afternoon. I spent the morning working on some sewing and then my mom came over to watch the kids while I went in for my CT scan. Unfortunately my CT was scheduled for 5:30 p.m. I had to be at the clinic at 4:30 for my lab work and to have my port accessed for the scan. They were running a little late for the scan but luckily it is a quick procedure and I was done before 6:00 so I could go back to the clinic and have then flush my port and tape up my tubing. I decided to have them leave the needle/tubing in my port so that I will not have to be accessed again for my infusion tomorrow. I just have to be careful showering/bathing and make sure that I cover it so that it doesn't get wet.

I made a crockpot meal and left it cooking before I left so the family was able to get dinner on the table before I got back home a little after 6:30 (traffic was surprisingly light for that time of day). When I was a couple of miles from home my stomach started turning flip flops and not feeling too good. I was worried that I wasn't going to make it home in time. As soon as I pulled in the garage I rushed into the house and up to the bathroom. For some reason this time around the barium contrast that I had to drink for my CT scan gave me some severe muscles cramps and diarrhea. I was finally okay again by the time I went to bed, but those were a couple of not too pleasant hours. I almost felt like I had taken the Miralax again (which is what I had to take to clean out my bowels before my surgery).

My stomach muscles have been sore today from having to fight with MJ at the bookstore yesterday. She is definitely a handful and I had to carry her around quite a bit so she wouldn't run away.

All the kids were off school today so I decided to try and take them on an outing to do something other than sit around the house all day. We drove down to BYU and visited their dinosaur museum. Then we stopped at Subway to pick up lunch and took it to DH's work to eat lunch with him. After that we drove back down to BYU and went to the bookstore and I let the girls pick out some T-shirts and a hat for Luke. By the time we were done with that I was completely exhausted and ready to go home! We got back home late afternoon and I went and laid down for a little bit before I had to get dinner ready. Thankfully we were just having leftovers and then after Family Home Evening I made a quick run to the grocery store for some things that we needed. I hoping that one of these days I will get my energy back!!

Tired again. Church went well and afterwards I went to visit a family from the ward and then went to choir practice for the first time since my diagnosis. It was good to be back singing again. There is one number for the Easter program coming up in two weeks that the primary will be singing that has a flute part to go with it. I have yet to pull out my flute and try playing it. I'll have to do that in the next couple of days to see if I want to play along with the primary or not. I think my biggest obstacle with playing the flute is whether or not my diaphram has completely healed and if I have the lung capacity that I need to play well. I also have pain occasionally around my lungs where my liver and diaphram were operated on.

I woke up this morning with my face all broken out in pimples! What is up with that?!?

Helped M&M work on her dress this morning while the rest of the kids did some cleaning. After I put MJ down for her nap I took M&M to a new store in the area and we were able to find her some new clothes. She is such a hard person to clothes shop for! After dinner the two of us went to the General YW Broadcast. It was nice to spend some time with her today.

Got a lot of sewing done today. Hopefully I have given myself enough time and I will be able to get them all finished in time for Easter. The weather is nice again so I have been trying to get the kids outside more and they are pretty good about watching the younger kids.

I tried taking a bunch of pictures of myself today so I can document my bald head and no eyebrows, but I'm not too happy with how most of them turned out. My eyes were looking super puffy today. I'm hoping it is a side effect of the chemo and not a permanent look for me. So anyways, here are a few of the better ones. I took some with no hair and eyebrows, then I tried drawing my eyebrows on so you can see me with the bald head and some penciled on eyebrows, then I took some pictures of me with my wig on. (Oh, I finally found an eyebrow pencil that I think I like - but it is still hard to get my eyebrows on symmetrically!)
I actually have two wigs now. I bought a shorter wig about a month ago. The company that I bought the first one through had a really cute one on sale for really cheap so I decided to try out a new look. My thought was also that it would be a cooler look for when it gets hot out and it will be an easier transition from a wig to my natural hair once it grows in long enough. I haven't worn this one enough to figure out exactly how I want to style it. The coloring in these pictures is not quite right, but it gives you an idea. (The first wig has some red color in it and the second wig is a little more blonde.) So here is a picture of the second wig:

I've still been a little tired today, but I forced myself to take Luke shoe shopping while Blondie and Kitty were at my parents' house. We had Kay and MJ with us, but it was better than having all of the 5 younger kids. M&M had a band concert this evening and had a solo on the bassoon. She was really nervous but did an awesome job. I'm glad I went to the concert. My neuropathy is almost all gone which is nice and my headache is not as constant as it was a few days ago. Hopefully it is on its way out too!

I went in for my lab work this morning and picked up my barium drink for my CT scan next week. Today was my last weekly lab work! Starting next week with my Avastin infusion I will just be going into the clinic every 3 weeks.

I've been trying to sew off and on when I have the energy. Easter will be here before I know it. Last night I stayed up late sewing together one of the dresses and it took me 3 tries to finally get the skirt attached to the top of the dress correctly. Then when I had Kitty try it on this morning it didn't look quite right. When I inspected it closer I found that I still hadn't gotten it right and had to take out part of the stitching and sew it once more... Other than doing that I haven't had the energy today to work on the dresses any more.

I just realized on the way to the Huntsman Clinic that yesterday was the first day of spring. So after I got home and ate some lunch I had the kids help me change out our seasonal decorations. I didn't feel too steady climbing up on the bar stool to put up the high decorations so I will save those for another day.

I have been completely exhausted today. When the nurse called to tell me that my blood counts were really low, Luke asked me what that meant. I knew what the low white blood cell counts meant, but not really what the low red blood cell counts meant so I looked it up. Here are some of the side effects of low red blood cell counts: fatigue, headache (which I still have today), shortness of breath, dizziness, increase in heart rate, pale skin. Now I understand why I have been so tired today...

My dad came by this afternoon to take Blondie and Kitty for the night. I just had everyone else eat whatever they wanted for dinner tonight. DH and Luke had some leftovers and the rest of us just had cereal. I wish there was a non-medical way to increase my blood counts! If anyone knows a way, let me know!

Did a little bit of grocery shopping this morning and wasn't too happy with the kids when I got home. (I forgot to mention that the kids are now off-track from school for the next 3 weeks!) I've been a little tired today so laid down for a little bit this afternoon. This evening I helped out with our ward's Blue and Gold Banquet for cub scouts. I think that it turned out well and the food was good and it looked like everyone enjoyed themselves.

I realized today that I am pretty much hairless right now. I have a tiny spot of eyebrow on the inner corner above each eye and then a few eyelashes (which seems weird because I lost them with my first 3 treatments). My arms have a few hairs here and there, but other than that there isn't much to speak of. My head is nice and bald and shiny right now. It looks much better than when we shaved it and I had all of those pimples on my head afterwards.

I've been struggling somewhat on my eyebrows lately. I have tried several different colors and brands of eyebrow pencils and still haven't found one that I love. My eyebrows are normally very dark and thick, so up to this point I have used a really dark color to try and blend it with the eyebrows that I had remaining. Now that I don't have very many to blend with anymore I have tried lightening up the color, but it just doesn't look right on me for some reason. It's also very hard to draw on my eyebrows when I don't have any eyebrows to use as a guideline - and it's hard ro get the two sides even and symmetrical. Hopefully I will be able to master it here shortly (either that or I hope my eyebrows grow back quickly)!

Today we had stake conference, so 2 hours of trying to keep the kids quiet and entertained while we listened to some speakers. I had the inspiration while I was at the dollar store the other day to buy some stickers and some notepads for the girls. That actually worked for a while and stake conference wasn't quite the circus that it has been in years past. After church I made some jello salad and some homemade ice cream and rested for a bit before we headed to my parents' for dinner. Unfortunately I had a chemo brain moment just before we left and slammed my son's hand in the trunk of the van and didn't even realize that he was yelling in pain for a minute or so... Thankfully there wasn't any damage done to his hand. We had him hold ice on it on the drive over to my parents, but he was fine after that.

My headache is back again today and I'm a little foggy brained again. Hopefully this is not the new normal for me... I have to keep remembering that even though I have had my last chemo treatment, it takes quite a while for all the drugs to work their way through my system and for my body to get back to normal everything. In fact starting about today and lasting the next week is when my blood counts are usually at their lowest levels. This afternoon DH had a stake leadership meeting and then this evening DH and I went to the adult session of our Stake Conference.

My birthday today! I am 36 years old today and thankfully I am through with my chemo treatments for the time being. I am feeling a little better today - my headache isn't quite as bad and I seem to have a little more energy. I spent the morning doing some organizing around the house - which oddly enough was something that I really wanted to do! It felt good to throw some things out and to clean up some things. After the kids' piano lessons I picked up a pizza and some breadsticks for them for their dinner and then they played outside until their dad came home from work. Then the kids went inside to eat their dinner and DH and I went to Olive Garden for our dinner. It was pretty crowded there, being a Friday night and one of our local high school's prom night. We had about a 40 minute wait and went to a store across the street during our wait. All in all it was a pretty good birthday!

Still the chemo brain today, but I just try to work through it and carry on as usual. The headache kind of comes with that as well. I definitely had a chemo brain experience yesterday and today. Yesterday while my mom was at the house I was telling her that I needed to go to the fabric store to buy the pattern for MJ's dress and it was going to be on sale at the store close to me, starting today. Well, I pulled out the ad to look through it and make sure that I was right and I couldn't find the patterns on sale in that ad until March 25th. I looked through it more than once and I was a little mad at myself because I had been planning on doing this for a week now and now I found out that I had planned incorrectly. Well, my mom mentioned that she thought she saw in another ad that the patterns were going to be on sale at another fabric store, starting tomorrow, but that fabric store is a little farther away from my house. Well, no big deal, I would just go to the other fabric store in the morning and get the pattern that I needed.

So this morning I drove out to the fabric store that is farther away, bought the pattern and then I had to stop at the closer fabric store to buy some more of the original fabric that I had bought for the dress. After I got the fabric cut, I was waiting at the cash register to checkout and I had the ad in my hand and was looking through it to see if there were any coupons that I could use on the fabric and there was the ad for the patterns on sale, starting today for 99 cents, instead of the $1.99 that I just paid for the pattern across town at the other store! Boy was I ticked at myself!! (The only positive to this story is that I saw a new dollar store that I went in and found some things that I had been looking for.)

Well, the rest of the day went fine until this evening when my husband and I went to our precinct caucus meeting. Even though I haven't been able to serve as a delegate so far (mostly because of my young kids), I like going and voting and knowing what is going on politically in our neighborhood and state. I have gone ever since we moved to our home here and wasn't about to miss it this year because of chemo brain. Well, we showed up at the middle school where our precinct was meeting and I looked on the precinct map that they had and I thought I figured out which precinct we are in (they recently redrew all of the precinct boundaries) so we headed to the cafeteria of the school where our precinct was meeting and when we got there we didn't recognize anyone in the room. Then we realized that I had read the map incorrectly and we were in the wrong location... We did finally figure out where we were supposed to be meeting and it was quite an interesting caucus meeting - the most people I have ever seen there. The precinct chair counted about 90 people there from he said 300 that are registered in our precinct. I think the most I have ever seen at one of our precinct meetings before tonight has maybe been 25 people. I'm hoping next time I will be in a position to be able to run for either a precinct position or a delegate position. There is something about politics that I find fascinating. I think it was also the longest meeting that we have been to because we didn't get home until around 9:30 that night.

There were a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a while that were curious how I was doing and feeling. Unfortunately with my chemo brain I wasn't feeling entirely there or super talkative either.