I put on jeans today for the first time since my surgery. There's just something about jeans with their unforgiving waistbands that has kept me at bay for this long time. Sitting around the house all day (or even running errands) wearing jeans just does not sound appealing to me.

I bought a pair of jeans several months ago at a secondhand store and when I got home and tried them on they were a little snugger than I wanted them to be but I decided to keep them anyways and set a goal to try and fit into them over the next few months. Well, I put them on today and if anything they are a little loose on me (which was a good thing with my abdomen still healing). People are really starting to notice the weight that I have lost and it feels really good to finally lose some of my baby fat (thanks to baby #6).

I've been a little nauseous since my chemo treatment, but nothing that has been unbearable or kept me from eating. I took one of my anti-nausea pills last night and usually if I don't let my stomach get too empty I am fine. My bowels are a little stopped up again and I've been somewhat tired today but other than that (and a headache) my side-effects haven't been too bad.

Chemo session #4 today. I can't believe that it's been 2 months since my last session. There always seems to be new nurses there that I haven't seen before. The nurse that I had during my first chemo session was there and DH spent some time talking to her when we first arrived because she commented that she hadn't seen us in a while so DH filled her in on my surgery that I had.

Other than that things went pretty smoothly. I only had the two drugs today. I will start up the Avastin again next time (the experimental drug). I didn't have to see the oncology team today since they saw me next week, but they did still have to draw some blood for lab work before they started me on the chemo. The nurse who accessed my port was somewhat concerned because the skin above my port was really red. We're wondering if I was having a reaction to the cream that they are having me put on it before it gets accessed. There was one other time when another nurse also noticed the skin really red before she accessed my port. The nurse today suggested that I try putting a little bit of the cream on a spot on my arm and see if I have a similar reaction. If so, he suggested that I not use it anymore and either don't use anything or just put some ice on my port right before they access it to numb the skin a little. After my session was through and he came back to de-access my port, it was no longer red (and I was keeping an eye on it during my infusion and the redness went away not too long after my infusion started).

My parents were able to come over and watch the kids for us again and some people from the ward brought dinner by that evening. It's nice to have my parents nearby to help out with the kids and to have so many people in the ward and neighborhood willing and wanting to help us out as well. It definitely makes this whole experience a little less painful.

Met with my gynecological oncologist today (my surgeon). She wanted to see me one more time before we started up the chemotherapy to make sure that everything is healing as it should be and there are no complications that I am experiencing. She was very interested to take a look at my incision site. When I lifted up my shirt to show her, she was surprised to see that I still had some steri-strips on the incision. She said, "Oh, you don't need those on anymore" and proceeded to rip them all off of me! It looks weird now having this long red scar down my whole abdomen. She was really impressed with how the incision site looked and also kept commenting on how flat my belly looked. She was pleased that there were no signs of fluid collecting there in my abdomen, especially considering how much discharge was coming out of my JP drain. She also did an internal exam and there are still a few stitches inside of me that aren't completely dissolved.

She gave the okay for my chemotherapy to start up again and she also gave me the okay to start lifting things over 10 pounds. She just cautioned me to take it easy and don't go immediately from lifting only 10 pounds to lifting 50 pounds. She said if it hurts to lift something, to back off and take it a little easier. (It is really nice to be able to lift my baby again!)

I asked her about my arm and if there was anything that happened during the surgery that may be causing the pain that I am experiencing. She didn't think that it was related to the surgery since it took so many weeks afterwards for it to exhibit itself. She thinks it is more likely just a strain from compensating for my healing stomach muscles. She said to try and avoid doing too much with that arm and just try resting it as much as possible (which is easier said than done when you are right handed and have 6 young kids to take care of).

The doctor was a little surprised that my CA-125 number wasn't lower but then she told me to not stress out over it too much because the surgery on my liver may be playing a part in the higher reading. She said that she had a patient sent to her because her CA-125 number was so high (over 4000), but she had no cancer anywhere in her body. She was in complete liver failure which was causing the number to be so high. The hope is that my CA-125 number will drop back down to the normal range after my liver is healed completely and I go through the rest of my chemotherpy sessions.

The doctor wants to see me again in about 3 months after my chemotherapy is all done and then she will see me about every 3 months for the next year just to check up on things and in case we need to do anything to manage my menopause symptoms.

I met with my oncology team at Huntsman on Wednesday and we have decided to start my chemotherapy sessions up again on Wednesday (provided my surgeon gives the okay at my appointment on Tuesday). Just three more session and then hopefully I will be in remission for a LONG time. Everything seems to be healing well and all of my lab work came back in the normal ranges (well, except for my CA-125 number). Someone from the oncology team called me yesterday to let me know that my CA-125 number was at 131 which is about where they expected it to be (my number was at 396 right before the surgery). The number should continue to go down as I continue to recover from the surgery and as I start up the chemo again. I asked if it would get back down to the normal range (35 or lower) and she said that it might, so that is what I'm shooting for!

My right arm is still bothering me, some days more than others. I think I will ask my surgeon about it on Tuesday and see if there was anything that happened during the surgery that might have strained my arm.

I'm down to just three more shots of the blood thinner injections. I can give myself the shots, but I prefer to have my husband so it, so I finally decided to just have him do it at bedtime instead of trying to take care of it in the morning. For some reason it hurts less when he does it. I'm not sure if it is because I don't have to watch it when he does it and so I am more relaxed or what.

I think the kids are finally pretty used to seeing me however I choose to walk around - with a hat on, my wig on or with nothing on my head. I try and be careful around MJ and not take off my wig when she's watching or she might just try and take it off herself sometime when we are out in public. I don't mind walking around the house with nothing on my head, but it is amazing how quickly my head gets cold sometimes. I still struggle at night trying to keep at a comfortable temperature.

I washed my wig today and am waiting for it to dry. Hopefully I will be able to style it easily afterwards. It's actually been pretty nice to just throw on an instant hairdo when I need to leave the house and go somewhere!

Well, my hair is growing back in. Too bad I will be losing it again here in a few weeks. It is probably about a 1/4 inch long right now - and it looks the same color so far. We're fighting a few colds in the family. MJ and DH have it the worst. So far I haven't been hit too bad so hopefully it will stay that way. My abdomen is slowly getting better. I haven't taken any pain medication for about a week I think and have been able to manage fine. Lately when I stand up straight I feel like my skin is super tight and if I stretch too much I will bust open my skin. I've been trying to put lotion on the incision site, but most of it is still covered with the steri-strips that were put on following the surgery. The surgeon said the longer I can keep those on, the better for my incision site. I feel like an old lady when I am walking around because sometimes I hunch over to prevent my incision from stretching out too much. Usually after I am standing for a few minutes the skin stretches out enough that it doesn't bother me anymore.

My right elbow has been really bothering me the last 2 weeks. It hurts when I lift just about anything with that arm and just bending it into certain positions hurts as well. I'm not sure if this is some weird side-effect from my surgery or if I injured my arm just after the surgery while trying to get myself around. If it's not better by next week I will ask my surgeon about it. I haven't been sleeping too well lately. I think it's some of the after-effects of the hysterectomy. Hopefully I can get things under control here shortly so my nights are a little more pleasant. My elementary school kids went back to school today so I will be trying to manage the little girls without lifting them during the day! I'm hoping to get the okay to lift more next week after I see the surgeon - not that I feel like lifting much, but it would be nice to be able to pick my baby up now and then without someone lifting her onto my lap!

Sorry it's been a while since I've posted. I've been feeling pretty good physically and been trying to get off of the pain meds totally. I can't believe that it's only been 3 weeks since my surgery! The other day I tried not taking anything and I realized how sore I still am! My right side especially is sore - which is understandable since that is where my liver was operated on and they also took out a small section of my diaphram. The tumor was embedded in my diaphram so they had to take a small chunk of that out as well. My surgeon said that I will probably be sore for a while on that side, especially when I breathe deeply, until it is all healed.

The last couple of nights I haven't slept too well. I'm not sure if it is because of the pain from my surgery or just stress or worry. I've been a little down lately thinking about what the future might hold for me and my family. My life has definitely been on a different track at this point than I ever thought it would be. I try and stay optimistic, but sometimes fear of the unknown really gets to me. It's also hard for me not being able to pick up my baby! I get concerned that I don't have the energy to give my kids the kind of attention that they need at this young stage in their lives. I don't think it's fair to them that their mother is sick and unable to do some things with them.

Okay, enough ranting for now. Here's to hoping for better days ahead - and lots of them!!

And on a more positive note, I've finally lost some of that baby weight that I've been holding onto for so long! (Okay, maybe the tumor on my ovaries had something to do with the extra weight around my middle too.) I've lost about 25 pounds since last September, so at least there's a little bit of positive from this whole ordeal!

Today I met with my gynecological surgeon. Everything is looking good and I am recovering as I should be. They will see me one more time before I start up my chemotherapy again to make sure that everything has healed as it should. My abdomen is still a little swollen, but it is probably partly because of fluid from my liver that my body is trying to get rid of. The surgeon wasn't concerned about it at all. They are pleased to see me up and moving around well and that I have been able to cut back on my pain meds a lot. The surgeon again expressed how pleased she was with how the surgery turned out and that I have a good chance of keeping the cancer at bay for a while. I think that has been the hardest part for me is the fact that we have no way of knowing how long I will be in remission from this horrible disease. That's one reason that I have to endure 3 more cycles of chemotherapy - to try and kill off all of the cancer cells so that I can have a better chance of keeping the cancer in remission for a long time...

I'm not sure what the surgeon did to my belly button, but it HURTS today! And it doesn't help that the waistband on all of my clothes hits right there too. Today I am wearing some thick gauze between my skin and my clothes in order to cushion my belly button a little.

Today I am on my own for the first time - well sort of. DH went back to work for the first time since my surgery and M&M had to go back to school today. The 5 younger kids are all home though so I at least have some help from Luke and Blondie. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do for MJ's naps once the elementary school kids head back to school. I have 2 more weeks to solve that problem though.

I have cut my medications down to just one or two Tramadol every 6 hours. I am going to see how I do without the Oxycodone today. Tramadol is a stronger form of ibuprofen. I can definitely feel more tenderness in my belly today, but I think that that is a good thing. It helps me to remember that my body is still on the mend and that I still need to take things easy.

My right arm has also been hurting some today. I'm not sure if I did something to strain it or if it is just because I have had to do more with my arm to compensate for my healing stomach muscles.

Today I ran some errands by myself with a few of the kids. Now that I am down to just one pill of pain meds I am not as drowsy as I was last week and don't feel loopy at all anymore. My stomach has been cramping some on and off because my bowels are still trying to get back to normal. The liver surgeon said that it can take up to 4 weeks after a major surgery for the bowels to start working correctly again. I still don't have much of an appetite and foods that I used to love and crave all the time just hold no interest for me at all. I really have no desire to eat any chocolate or cookies or sweets of any kind. In a way that's a good thing, but I miss them tasting good to me! I've had very few sweets at all this whole Christmas season!

Some of the surgical tape is starting to come off of my incision. The body is an amazing thing in its ability to heal! I still have tape residue all over my belly and upper body. That stuff is hard to get off! I work on it a little each day, but I have such sensitive skin that I try not to do too much at once or I will have sore patches everywhere!

I just gave myself my first shot! I have to have an injection each day to help prevent blood clots and up until today DH has given them to me. Today DH wasn't around so I decided to try it myself and it wasn't too bad.

I went to church today for the full 3 hour block. We just moved to the 11:00 a.m. time slot so I didn't have to rush too bad to get everyone ready for church this morning. (I managed to fit into one of my skirts even with my brace around my midsection, so maybe that means I have lost some more weight.) I felt like I should be there since it is the first Sunday of the new year and everyone is in the process of figuring out what classroom to go to and who their teachers are. I felt fine until Sacrament Meeting when I started getting really tired about halfway through and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Unfortunately I can't do too much with either MJ or Kay if they act up during church since I can't pick them up. We managed to survive alright though. I had DH drive us home afterwards because I wasn't sure if I trusted myself on the road (even though we only live about 3 blocks away from the church). Everyone was surprised to see me there today and I had so many people come up to me today and tell me that I looked really good and that they liked my hair. A couple of people didn't recognize me at first because of my wig. Later on this afternoon we will be heading over to my parents' house for New Year's dinner.

Today I spent a little bit of time and started taking down Christmas decorations. I imagine it is going to be a long, drawn-out process this year since I will need DH's help to move the tree and the storage boxes this year. I also spent some time putting away laundry and helping to clean the little girls' room.

In the afternoon DH and I and some of the kids again went to run some more errands. I think we are done with our Christmas exchanges now (well, almost).

We have food coming out of our ears!! We still have a lot of leftovers from the meals that were brought to us this week and then another neighbor brought by a big crockpot of soup with some rice yesterday as well as a ham for us. Right now our refrigerator and freezer are both full to the brim! I think I will ask my parents if we can store some of our freezer food over at their house until we need it because we are completely out of room - and my parents have an extra freezer in their garage.

The three middle girls went to a neighbor's house this morning while the rest of us did some more shopping. We are trying to get some of the Christmas gifts exchanged that weren't quite right. It's kind of fun going around with only a few of the kids with us.

Luke helped me do laundry this afternoon. Then I taught him how to play a few card games and then he spent the rest of the day teaching the games to his sisters and playing with them. Just before dinner I had the urge to go outside for a walk. We have had unseasonably warm weather this week so I managed to talk all the family into accompanying me. We walked around the whole ward boundaries - it felt good to be out walking. After dinner we watched Kung Fu Panda 2 again. Thankfully the kids all liked it so they were fine watching it again - and this time I stayed awake for the whole thing.

Today before my shower I took off the bag over my drain hole. It didn't drain anything at all yesterday and the hole is closing up. I just put a large bandaid on it to keep my clothes from rubbing it. I have been slowly cutting down on the pain meds and today I am down to just 1 Oxycodone every 4 hours and then the less pain medicine every 6 hours.

I tried sleeping on my side of the bed last night and it wasn't too bad. My back muscles are all so tense that I used the heating pad for a while and I think it helped some. It's getting easier and easier each day to get in and out of the bed. And thankfully I am pretty much over my cold so no more coughing.

Today DH and I and a couple of the kids went to a few stores to run some errands. It felt kind of weird being out and about, but nice to get a little bit of normalcy back. DH is not used to running around to stores so he is learning a lot. I'm not really in a condition to drive on my own yet though so he gets to come with us! I also helped Blondie and Kitty clean and organize their room - it was a mess!

My body itches everywhere, especially around my incision site. My neck also itches quite a bit where my IV was so I am keeping a bandaid on the hole there so that I don't accidentally scratch off the scab.

Last night was a little better again. I was a little late on one of my pain dosages again and got a little nauseous, but it subsided quickly.

I went to the hospital this morning to get my blood drawn for some lab work and then we headed off to the liver surgeon's office (in one of the buildings at the hospital). Unfortunately the outpatient lab at this hospital doesn't access ports so they had to draw blood from my arm. My poor body has some many pokes and scrapes on it it is sad. My appointment with the liver surgeon went really well. She said that the drainage looks really good so she removed my tube. She also looked at my incision and felt around some and everything looks good. It was pretty weird when she pulled the tube out of my stomach. I could feel it coming out - probably 3-4 inches worth of tube. After that it drained for a little bit and it was weird seeing liquid come out of a hole in my stomach. They don't stitch it up at all - just wait for it to heal on its own. She did attach a type of bag to my hole that makes a seal around it so that it will drain into a bag that just hangs there. At the bottom it folds up and velcros shut so that I can drain it and then close it up again. She gave me an extra one and said to use it as long as there is still some drainage coming out. It should seal up on its own and the fluid should just be absorbed and disposed of by my body. She said that my stomach may become a little distorted and if it becomes painful than I may have to go in to have the fluid drained with a needle. It's definitely nice not having that drain on me anymore!

Last night was much better. I set my alarm to wake me up, but ended up waking up before it went off. I did feel nauseous again for some reason, but it went away quidkly. I was also able to get in and out of the bed a little easier. DH still had to help me some though. I feel bad disturbing his sleep though because when he doesn't sleep well, he is not in a good mood the next day. I've had a little more of an appetite today. I ate a normal breakfast and lunch. When dinnertime came around though I came down to eat and the food just did not smell very appetizing to me for some reason. I had to wait until the family was finished eating and then just tried eating something small.

I called in to my surgeon's offices today to make follow-up appointments. I have an appointment to see the liver surgeon tomorrow so this may be my last day with my drain.

I have a bit more energy today and am able to get around a little easier. It's still quite painful to move around too much though, especially when I bend at the waist or try and roll over in bed. The pain medications I am on though are really effective at managing my pain, which I am grateful for.

I think the kids missed me while I was gone because MJ seems much happier than she has been lately. It's just hard not being able to pick her up!

Update

I am at home and doing well. I just haven't been able to update my blog since my last posting. Hopefully in the next day or two...

Wow! Last night was MISERABLE!! Thankfully our bed is the perfect height for me to get in and out of with a minimum of effort, but it HURTS to move at all once I am in the bed, and getting into a comfortable position was incredibly hard. I was finally able to sleep on my side since I am finally unhooked from everything, so that at least was nice. I switched sides of the bed with DH because I needed to be able to sleep on my left side since I still have my drain in. I had to have DH help me get all situated in the bed and even pull up to covers over me. I got up once a little later to use the bathroom and DH had to help me back into bed. Then I woke up a second time, but it was 5 1/2 hours after I had taken my last pain medication and it only lasts about 4 hours! I was in a lot of pain and then I felt really nauseous! I took my pain pills and then the medication I have for nausea. It took a while but I finally felt a little better and was able to hobble back to bed, with DH helping get back in again. We were pretty trashed once morning hit so the kids had to wait a while before they could get to their Christmas/Santa gifts.

I have so many different medications that I am on that I started keeping track of them all in a little notebook so that I don't forget anything or take anything too early/late. I've found that if I don't take my main pain medication on time, I start to feel really nauseous.  I think tonight I will have to set my alarm to wake me up every 4 hours so I don't miss a dose again. Right now I am taking 4 pills of oxycodone every 4 hours. Hopefully soon I can start weaning off of that. I also have another pain medicine that is not quite as strong, but I can mix the two. I also have to take an antibiotic pill once a day and then I have to have an injection of blood thinners once a day (I think DH will be doing those for me). I also have an anti-nausea medication that I can take as needed.

The main side effect I have from the medications is just drowsiness. Some times I just sit down and feel my eyes start to glaze over and I can't keep them open. I am also having a hard time concentrating my eyes on something like my ipad screen - which is why it's taken me a little while to blog.

The hardest thing that I am going to have to deal with over the next 5 weeks is that I am not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds. That means no picking up MJ at all!

My drain is pumping out so much fluid!! Sometimes it fills up within just a 1/2 hour! I also think it is leaking a little where the tube goes into my skin, and the stitch that is holding the tube into place is kind of irritating. I've started wearing a small towel or washcloth under my brace so that it will catch any leaks from my drain. The color is still looking fine on the liquid draining out though so hopefully I can have it removed soon.

We watched Kung Fu Panda 2 tonight as a family and I slept through just about all of it. I tried staying awake for it, but it just wasn't happening. I saw the first few minutes and then woke up at the end for the last few minutes.

Merry Christmas!!

Last night was another miserable night in the hospital. At least they didn't forget my pain medication, but the nurses were working half shifts so there always seemed to be someone new attending to me. I also had my drain filling up like every hour and then they came in around four in the morning to draw some blood and take out my catheter. In the morning I was finally able to shower for the first time! They had to cover up the IV in my neck that was still in and they also had to cover my port that still had an IV connected to it. It felt good to have some hot water finally pouring down over me!

Before the shower DH and I tried talking to each other several times before he left with the kids for a 9 a.m. Sacrament Meeting. I felt a little nauseous with the breakfast that was brought to me and didn't end up eating very much of it. I got a little emotional about everything that was going on and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it was because DH was doing a good job managing the kids and taking them to church. He even got up early and made them some cinnamon rolls in a can for breakfast and had M&M help with the girls' hair. I think I was also a little emotional because they were so short staffed with their nurses and aides that the aide just showed me where the shower was and left me to myself to manage on my own - even though this was my first time up and showering... I think I was also emotional because I was missing my family - here it was Christmas morning and I wasn't home to be with my family.

The physical therapist came by again and wanted to walk with me but I reminded her that we hadn't done stairs yet so she said she would come back after my shower and we would go do some stairs. After my shower we walked over to the stairwell and the therapist had me walk up a flight and then back down. It wasn't too difficult for me so the therapist thought i would do just fine at home.

After lunch my surgeon's assistant came by and said everything looked good for me to go home whenever I was ready!! How exciting!! They just needed to take the IV out of my neck and then they needed to go over all of my checkout instructions, which included how to empty and take care of my drain. They took all of the tape off of my incision site and it was really stuck on there good! It took quite a while to remove it and then it was all red and covered in sore spots from the tape. The nurse came in to remove my neck IV and she had to remove it and then hold pressure on it for the next ten minutes. Then I had to lay there in the bed for an hour so the hole would close up. It ws a pretty good size IV.

When I called DH to let him know I was going to be released that afternoon, we debated not telling my parents and just showing up there at their house. Unfortunately my parents called me before we came to a decision so I told them that i had been released so we discussed what to do for Christmas dinner. We decided that my parents would bring the dinner over to my house and cook it there and then my sister's family would also come over and we would all eat at my house.

DH came around 3:00 to pick me up. I got dressed into clothes for the first time since Wednesday and then it took us a while to pack up all of my things. DH also had to run down to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. When we were finally ready, the nurse got a wheelchair for me and we left the hospital! This was also my first time outside since Wednesday. The whole thing felt surreal and like I wasn't quite ready for this yet! The car ride home was uneventful and by the time we got there my parents were already there starting on the dinner. We pulled up into the driveway and DH and the kids had put a welcome home sign on the garage door. DH had printed it out before he left and the kids colored it and wrote some cute personal messages on it while he was at the hospital picking me up! It was very sweet!

As soon as we pulled in the driveway, Kitty and MJ came out the front door to greet me. Kitty ran straight to me and wanted me to pick her up. Unfortunately I can't pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds for the next 4-6 weeks while we wait for my body to heal. DH juggled the things around in his arms so he could pick her up and she just threw a screaming fit because she didn't want dad to pick her up, she wanted me to. We came inside and he set her down on the couch beside me, but she wasn't quite content with that...

Up to this point my kids haven't opened any Christmas presents and it took us a few minutes to decide how we wanted to do it now. We finally decided that we would let them open the gifts from my parents and their Christmas pajamas from me and DH after dinner and then we would do the Santa gifts and other family gifts Monday morning. DH just likes the idea of the kids sleeping and waking up to their Christmas gifts in the morning.

Christmas Eve!  It's seems weird being here over a major holiday weekend.  Last night was really, really rough.  I tried going to sleep a little earlier but just couldn't get comfortable.  My back just kept hurting worse and worse and I was contemplating pushing my pain button even though I hadn't needed to push it all day long.  I finally was able to get to the pain button and I pushed it and didn't hear anything happen - usually there is a noise associated with it that tells me the pump has kicked into action.  I looked over at the machine and the bag for the pain medicine looked like it was still completely full.  I quickly pushed the button for the nurse.  When the nurse came in he asked what was going on and I told him that I didn't think that my pain bag had been turned on.  He went over and looked at it and said, "Yeah, you're right.  This isn't even on." What looks like happened is that the previous nurse had changed my bag just before her shift was over and then never turned it back on.  We figured it was off for about 2 hours!  I was in such excruciating pain that I was in tears, crying.  The nurse offered me some other drugs that can be given to me at the same time as my main medication and I told him to just give me everything that he could!  Especially since I was told that the main medication can take up to 20 minutes to take effect.  It took me a little while to get my pain back under control and then it took even longer to actually be able to relax and get some sleep.

This morning I got up and took a little bit of a sponge bath while sitting in the bathroom.  I am not allowed to shower until my epidural is removed.  This was the first time I had really seen myself in a mirror since my surgery.  I actually didn't look as bad as I thought I would.  It felt really good to be able to clean up a little.  After I finished up in the bathroom a nurse from physical therapy came by to take me walking.  We walked a couple of laps and she said that I was doing really good and that the best thing I can do for myself at this point is walk as much as I can.  So I set a goal to walk a mile today - that's about 10 laps around my floor.  I did two laps with the physical therapist and then went and sat on the couch and ate my breakfast.

After breakfast I decided to go walking some more.  This time I did about 4  laps and then noticed that my legs in-between my thighs was really hurting - there was something rubbing there between them.  I discovered that it was a clip holding my catheter tube to my leg.  When I hobbled back to my room to check out the damage I found that I had cuts on the inside of both of my legs from where this had been rubbing.  I got ahold of my nurses' aide and she helped move the clip to the front part of my thigh and then put some bandages on the insides of my legs.  Then I went out and finished up my last half lap and added one more for good measure.  It felt much better having that clip moved.  On my way past my room one time I heard my cell phone ringing in the room so I stopped to answer it.  It was DH who had apparently been trying to call for quite a while.  I took the phone with me and talked while I did another lap around the floor.  I had called him last night about the pain medicine incident right after it happened so he already knew about that, but there was other info to fill him in on.  He mentioned that our relief society president wanted to come visit me at the hospital and had offered to bring M&M with her.  Then he could come later with the rest of the kids to see me and then take her home with them.  I thought that that sounded like a good idea.

There has been quite a bit of drainage from my drain and I asked the liver surgeon's assistant about it when she came in to see me this morning.  She said that the color on the drainage was really good and that I shouldn't be concerned at the amount at this point.

So the relief society president and M&M came over shortly after lunch.  She brought a basket of flowers and stayed to visit for a little bit and then left M&M with me.  I had M&M take me on a walk for those last couple of laps that I needed to finish up my mile.  We ended up doing just two laps and I did them pretty slowly and then I started to not feel so good so we headed back to my room.  After getting situated on the couch I noticed that one of my brothers had tried to facetime me earlier in the day while I was out, so I tried returning his call.  While I was talking to him the physical therapist tried coming in to take me to the stairs to practice doing some stairs when I all of a sudden felt nauseous like I was going to throw up.  I quickly ended my call with my brother and the physical therapist called the nurse for me.  I dry heaved a few times but nothing came up.  The nurse brought me some anti-nausea medicine and M&M brought me a wet washcloth to put on my forehead and then I started to feel better.

My surgeon's assistant finally talked to the nurses about getting my epidural and catheter out and switching me over to solid foods.  Hopefully something will happen with that before the day ends.

It was nice being able to sit and chat with M&M for the time that she spent there.  I'm just sorry she had to see me get sick liike that.  My parents stopped by for a few minutes again and then right after I was served dinner, DH brought the kids by to visit again.  (I had to fight for the dinner again because they tried to bring me a liquid diet again and they had to check with the nurse to find out if I could have solid foods.)  Unfortunately MJ and Kay were a little more wired and free feeling this time and preferred to be running around the place causing problems.  I finally had M&M take MJ down to the end of the hall where there are some clusters of chairs for families and some large windows to see if she could keep her quiet.  Kay thought it was fun to run up and down the hallways and we tried to stop her from doing that and disturbing the other patients on the floor.  Finally after DH and I were able to talk a little I tried getting MJ over to me to give me a hug and say goodbye, but she wasn't interested.  Then I offered her some of the food off of my dinner tray and she perked right up.  It turns out that she was starving and she absolutely loved the pudding that I offered her!  In fact the only way they were able to bribe her to leave without screaming was to take the pudding container with them with a plastic spoon to feed her with.

Just before DH showed up the nurse came in to give me some oral pain meds and then a little while later she capped off my epidural.  She had also contacted the anesthesiologist to see if he could stop by later this evening or in the morning to take out my epidural.  Luckily he was able to come by before he went off shift that night and it was a pretty quick procedure having that pulled out.  It felt good to finally be able to scratch my back without the fear of upsetting the placement of the epidural.  The nurse also offered to take out my catheter, but I am a little hesitant because that means that I will have to get up out of bed more to use the bathroom and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that!

Before I settled down for the night I took one more walk.  I got in a total of 1.5 miles before I finished for the day.  It felt good to be up and about walking around!

I think I actually got a little bit of sleep last night. It's so hard trying to find a comfortable position and it just hurts to move at all if it involves my stomach muscles. I forgot to mention in my last post that when I am laying in bed they have these things that I wear on my calves that blow up like a balloon every 30 seconds or so. It alternates and blows up one leg at a time. It is supposed to help keep the blood flowing through my legs and hopefully prevent any blood clots from forming.

I took a little bit of nausea medicine last night and today. I haven't felt really nauseous, I just want to prevent it from getting any worse. My swelling has gone down some today and I can actually open my eyes all the way. The nurse took some tape off of my left wrist last night from where I had an I.V. or something during the surgery and it is all blue and bruised underneath. This morning the nurse heard me coughing some because of my cold and offered to attach a humidifier to my breathing tube so I could breathe a little easier.

I've been a little frustrated with some lack of communication that appears to be going on between the different people that are taking care of me. My main surgeon's assistant came in and took a look at me today and said that everything was looking really good and that since I was feeling fine I should be able to move up to solids today and have anything I wanted to eat. She also said that I should be able to have my catheter taken out because the epidural was up high enough that it shouldn't be interfering with my bladder function. Less than an hour later I had lunch brought into me and it said on the food order on the tray that it was a clear liquid only diet again! I was not too happy when I saw that and I mentioned to the person that brought it in that I had just been told that I could move up to a solid food diet. She said she would check with my nurse and then she came back and said that I could move up to a full liquid diet - which means some thicker solids like tomato or chowder soups and pudding. So a little bit better than what I was initially given, but still not terribly appetizing!

The surgeon's assistant also asked me when I was thinking I would like to go home and I said that it would be nice to be home for Christmas Day, but I also didn't want to rush anything and was okay staying there if I wasn't quite ready. She said that we would have to see and that it depended on a whole chain of events taking place. (Switch to oral pain meds, cap off the epidural, make sure the oral pain meds were enough, remove the epidural, remove the catheter, transition to solids, remove the IV from my neck.)

Around lunchtime my mom went over to watch MJ and Kay so DH could come spend a few hours with me. I feel like I'm not very exciting company at this point though because I'm still very tired and can't move around much at all.

I was able to get up several times today and I even made a lap around the whole floor once. There are some nice big windows at the end of the hallways and it was a nice view looking out of some of them (my room is on the 10th floor).

DH left before dinnertime so he could eat with the family and then bring the kids back to see me for the first time since my surgery. My sister also stopped by with her family and they brought me a cute little Christmas tree with some homemade popcorn garland and ornaments on it. Everyone that came in after that commented on my cute Christmas tree. That afternoon before my sister got there they decided to give me two more units of blood because my counts were still low.

After dinner my kids came to visit me! DH was holding MJ and at first she didn't see me, but once she did her face completely lit up! She started saying, "Mommy, Mommy!" I had decided to be seated on the couch when the kids came by instead of the bed so that they could sit next to me and hug me a little better. DH came over to me and set MJ down on the couch next to me and she was content to just sit there snuggled up by my side. Amazingly she didn't try crawling all over me and pulling or poking at everything I was hooked up to. Kay was also very excited and she was very interested in what everything was that I was hooked up to and what all of my owies were. Then once she was finished asking me questions she decided to explore around the room trying and get into everything that she shouldn't be doing. My parents came just right after my family and they enjoyed watching how happy MJ was just sitting there with me. The family wasn't able to stay too long because of MJ and Kay being pills, but it was good seeing them all and letting them see me so they could see that I was okay. It was also nice being able to talk to the older kids and ask them about their last few days of school. We discussed if the family would come by on Saturday and visit me and discussed possibly having M&M come over and spend a few hours with me by herself. We'll have to see if we can work something out so that can happen.