Soccer games again this morning. This time we had one at 10:30 (which the other team didn't show up to) and then two games at 11:00. Sometimes it's nice to have them overlap because then you're not spending the whole day at games. General Conference today as well. I listened to some of the morning session in the car while watching M&M's game, but we also recorded it to watch later. M&M and I made some doughnuts this evening while DH was at the priesthood session. They were really good!

My eyes started really bothering me and watering while I was finishing up bathing the kids. It only lasted a few minutes, but then I felt really tired afterwards and went to bed earlier than I usually do.

My sister came by this morning with her two little boys. We had a good visit. She has some cute boys and the baby is growing up way too fast! I was able to work on the dresses again today. I am almost done with the 4 older girls' dresses, so just MJ's left to do.

Got quite a bit of sewing done today. Just a little over a week until Easter! I'm starting to get some energy back, but it has been really slow. Luke and M&M had their first soccer games of the season this evening. M&M got a ride to her game and I went to Luke's game. Blondie had practice at about the same time so I missed some of the game while I was driving to drop off and pick up Blondie. DH stopped at M&M's game on his way home from work. Now starts the craziness of soccer season!

Bum deal today!! My parents came by my house this morning so that my mom could watch the kids and my dad drove me to the clinic for my Dr's appt and infusion. Traffic was a mess this morning so we got there a few minutes late and then when the Dr came in to see me he said that they couldn't give me the infusion today because my platelet count was too low! Since I'm receiving the Avastin as part of a clinical trial we have to follow all of their protocol under what conditions I can and cannot receive treatment. The Dr who I met with said that if it wasn't for the study they would give me the infusion anyways because the Avastin doesn't affect the platelet count at all and doesn't really have anything to do with it. The first comment that the Dr made when he walked into the examining room was that I looked tired! I said that I was hoping it was due to a low red blood cell count and after he looked at those numbers he thought that that was probably the case and that my number should rebound here in the next week or two. We think that all of the chemo treatments have finally caught up with me and it is taking me longer this time around to rebound. Even though I wasn't able to receive my infusion today, I'm just glad that this didn't happen on one of my chemotherapy days because that really would have affected things more since that is an all day treatment. So the plan is to have me come back in on Monday and hopefully my platelet count will be back up by then (my number today was 59,000 and it needs to be at 75,000 or higher - normal range is 170,000-450,000). I will go straight to the infusion room and have my labs drawn there and if everything is in the acceptable range then I will have the infusion, if not then I will have to come back in on Wednesday to meet with the doctor. The only problem with Monday is that they had already scheduled me to have a mammogram on Monday at a clinic closer to my home, so they rescheduled that for early afternoon and my infusion will be in the morning (hopefully).

The Dr also said that he had looked at the results of the CT scan and that there were no signs of cancer evident in the scan. He said that there was one spot in the liver where the resection took place that showed some abnormality, but after talking with the radiology tech they were confident that it is just due to the healing still taking place in the liver and that the abnormality was consistent with someone who has had liver surgery. They will keep a close eye on that spot in future scans, but at this point it is not a concern.

After the meeting with the doctor ended I had to go over to the room where my labs are done so that they could de-access my port. So much for leaving it in!! It was a little bit of a pain during the night because it was a little uncomfortable to have my arms close together which is how I usually sleep. I finally had the thought to put a pillow in front of my chest so that I could wrap my arm around it and not have it touching my other arm.

CT scan this afternoon. I spent the morning working on some sewing and then my mom came over to watch the kids while I went in for my CT scan. Unfortunately my CT was scheduled for 5:30 p.m. I had to be at the clinic at 4:30 for my lab work and to have my port accessed for the scan. They were running a little late for the scan but luckily it is a quick procedure and I was done before 6:00 so I could go back to the clinic and have then flush my port and tape up my tubing. I decided to have them leave the needle/tubing in my port so that I will not have to be accessed again for my infusion tomorrow. I just have to be careful showering/bathing and make sure that I cover it so that it doesn't get wet.

I made a crockpot meal and left it cooking before I left so the family was able to get dinner on the table before I got back home a little after 6:30 (traffic was surprisingly light for that time of day). When I was a couple of miles from home my stomach started turning flip flops and not feeling too good. I was worried that I wasn't going to make it home in time. As soon as I pulled in the garage I rushed into the house and up to the bathroom. For some reason this time around the barium contrast that I had to drink for my CT scan gave me some severe muscles cramps and diarrhea. I was finally okay again by the time I went to bed, but those were a couple of not too pleasant hours. I almost felt like I had taken the Miralax again (which is what I had to take to clean out my bowels before my surgery).

My stomach muscles have been sore today from having to fight with MJ at the bookstore yesterday. She is definitely a handful and I had to carry her around quite a bit so she wouldn't run away.

All the kids were off school today so I decided to try and take them on an outing to do something other than sit around the house all day. We drove down to BYU and visited their dinosaur museum. Then we stopped at Subway to pick up lunch and took it to DH's work to eat lunch with him. After that we drove back down to BYU and went to the bookstore and I let the girls pick out some T-shirts and a hat for Luke. By the time we were done with that I was completely exhausted and ready to go home! We got back home late afternoon and I went and laid down for a little bit before I had to get dinner ready. Thankfully we were just having leftovers and then after Family Home Evening I made a quick run to the grocery store for some things that we needed. I hoping that one of these days I will get my energy back!!

Tired again. Church went well and afterwards I went to visit a family from the ward and then went to choir practice for the first time since my diagnosis. It was good to be back singing again. There is one number for the Easter program coming up in two weeks that the primary will be singing that has a flute part to go with it. I have yet to pull out my flute and try playing it. I'll have to do that in the next couple of days to see if I want to play along with the primary or not. I think my biggest obstacle with playing the flute is whether or not my diaphram has completely healed and if I have the lung capacity that I need to play well. I also have pain occasionally around my lungs where my liver and diaphram were operated on.

I woke up this morning with my face all broken out in pimples! What is up with that?!?

Helped M&M work on her dress this morning while the rest of the kids did some cleaning. After I put MJ down for her nap I took M&M to a new store in the area and we were able to find her some new clothes. She is such a hard person to clothes shop for! After dinner the two of us went to the General YW Broadcast. It was nice to spend some time with her today.

Got a lot of sewing done today. Hopefully I have given myself enough time and I will be able to get them all finished in time for Easter. The weather is nice again so I have been trying to get the kids outside more and they are pretty good about watching the younger kids.

I tried taking a bunch of pictures of myself today so I can document my bald head and no eyebrows, but I'm not too happy with how most of them turned out. My eyes were looking super puffy today. I'm hoping it is a side effect of the chemo and not a permanent look for me. So anyways, here are a few of the better ones. I took some with no hair and eyebrows, then I tried drawing my eyebrows on so you can see me with the bald head and some penciled on eyebrows, then I took some pictures of me with my wig on. (Oh, I finally found an eyebrow pencil that I think I like - but it is still hard to get my eyebrows on symmetrically!)
I actually have two wigs now. I bought a shorter wig about a month ago. The company that I bought the first one through had a really cute one on sale for really cheap so I decided to try out a new look. My thought was also that it would be a cooler look for when it gets hot out and it will be an easier transition from a wig to my natural hair once it grows in long enough. I haven't worn this one enough to figure out exactly how I want to style it. The coloring in these pictures is not quite right, but it gives you an idea. (The first wig has some red color in it and the second wig is a little more blonde.) So here is a picture of the second wig:

I've still been a little tired today, but I forced myself to take Luke shoe shopping while Blondie and Kitty were at my parents' house. We had Kay and MJ with us, but it was better than having all of the 5 younger kids. M&M had a band concert this evening and had a solo on the bassoon. She was really nervous but did an awesome job. I'm glad I went to the concert. My neuropathy is almost all gone which is nice and my headache is not as constant as it was a few days ago. Hopefully it is on its way out too!

I went in for my lab work this morning and picked up my barium drink for my CT scan next week. Today was my last weekly lab work! Starting next week with my Avastin infusion I will just be going into the clinic every 3 weeks.

I've been trying to sew off and on when I have the energy. Easter will be here before I know it. Last night I stayed up late sewing together one of the dresses and it took me 3 tries to finally get the skirt attached to the top of the dress correctly. Then when I had Kitty try it on this morning it didn't look quite right. When I inspected it closer I found that I still hadn't gotten it right and had to take out part of the stitching and sew it once more... Other than doing that I haven't had the energy today to work on the dresses any more.

I just realized on the way to the Huntsman Clinic that yesterday was the first day of spring. So after I got home and ate some lunch I had the kids help me change out our seasonal decorations. I didn't feel too steady climbing up on the bar stool to put up the high decorations so I will save those for another day.

I have been completely exhausted today. When the nurse called to tell me that my blood counts were really low, Luke asked me what that meant. I knew what the low white blood cell counts meant, but not really what the low red blood cell counts meant so I looked it up. Here are some of the side effects of low red blood cell counts: fatigue, headache (which I still have today), shortness of breath, dizziness, increase in heart rate, pale skin. Now I understand why I have been so tired today...

My dad came by this afternoon to take Blondie and Kitty for the night. I just had everyone else eat whatever they wanted for dinner tonight. DH and Luke had some leftovers and the rest of us just had cereal. I wish there was a non-medical way to increase my blood counts! If anyone knows a way, let me know!

Did a little bit of grocery shopping this morning and wasn't too happy with the kids when I got home. (I forgot to mention that the kids are now off-track from school for the next 3 weeks!) I've been a little tired today so laid down for a little bit this afternoon. This evening I helped out with our ward's Blue and Gold Banquet for cub scouts. I think that it turned out well and the food was good and it looked like everyone enjoyed themselves.

I realized today that I am pretty much hairless right now. I have a tiny spot of eyebrow on the inner corner above each eye and then a few eyelashes (which seems weird because I lost them with my first 3 treatments). My arms have a few hairs here and there, but other than that there isn't much to speak of. My head is nice and bald and shiny right now. It looks much better than when we shaved it and I had all of those pimples on my head afterwards.

I've been struggling somewhat on my eyebrows lately. I have tried several different colors and brands of eyebrow pencils and still haven't found one that I love. My eyebrows are normally very dark and thick, so up to this point I have used a really dark color to try and blend it with the eyebrows that I had remaining. Now that I don't have very many to blend with anymore I have tried lightening up the color, but it just doesn't look right on me for some reason. It's also very hard to draw on my eyebrows when I don't have any eyebrows to use as a guideline - and it's hard ro get the two sides even and symmetrical. Hopefully I will be able to master it here shortly (either that or I hope my eyebrows grow back quickly)!

Today we had stake conference, so 2 hours of trying to keep the kids quiet and entertained while we listened to some speakers. I had the inspiration while I was at the dollar store the other day to buy some stickers and some notepads for the girls. That actually worked for a while and stake conference wasn't quite the circus that it has been in years past. After church I made some jello salad and some homemade ice cream and rested for a bit before we headed to my parents' for dinner. Unfortunately I had a chemo brain moment just before we left and slammed my son's hand in the trunk of the van and didn't even realize that he was yelling in pain for a minute or so... Thankfully there wasn't any damage done to his hand. We had him hold ice on it on the drive over to my parents, but he was fine after that.

My headache is back again today and I'm a little foggy brained again. Hopefully this is not the new normal for me... I have to keep remembering that even though I have had my last chemo treatment, it takes quite a while for all the drugs to work their way through my system and for my body to get back to normal everything. In fact starting about today and lasting the next week is when my blood counts are usually at their lowest levels. This afternoon DH had a stake leadership meeting and then this evening DH and I went to the adult session of our Stake Conference.

My birthday today! I am 36 years old today and thankfully I am through with my chemo treatments for the time being. I am feeling a little better today - my headache isn't quite as bad and I seem to have a little more energy. I spent the morning doing some organizing around the house - which oddly enough was something that I really wanted to do! It felt good to throw some things out and to clean up some things. After the kids' piano lessons I picked up a pizza and some breadsticks for them for their dinner and then they played outside until their dad came home from work. Then the kids went inside to eat their dinner and DH and I went to Olive Garden for our dinner. It was pretty crowded there, being a Friday night and one of our local high school's prom night. We had about a 40 minute wait and went to a store across the street during our wait. All in all it was a pretty good birthday!

Still the chemo brain today, but I just try to work through it and carry on as usual. The headache kind of comes with that as well. I definitely had a chemo brain experience yesterday and today. Yesterday while my mom was at the house I was telling her that I needed to go to the fabric store to buy the pattern for MJ's dress and it was going to be on sale at the store close to me, starting today. Well, I pulled out the ad to look through it and make sure that I was right and I couldn't find the patterns on sale in that ad until March 25th. I looked through it more than once and I was a little mad at myself because I had been planning on doing this for a week now and now I found out that I had planned incorrectly. Well, my mom mentioned that she thought she saw in another ad that the patterns were going to be on sale at another fabric store, starting tomorrow, but that fabric store is a little farther away from my house. Well, no big deal, I would just go to the other fabric store in the morning and get the pattern that I needed.

So this morning I drove out to the fabric store that is farther away, bought the pattern and then I had to stop at the closer fabric store to buy some more of the original fabric that I had bought for the dress. After I got the fabric cut, I was waiting at the cash register to checkout and I had the ad in my hand and was looking through it to see if there were any coupons that I could use on the fabric and there was the ad for the patterns on sale, starting today for 99 cents, instead of the $1.99 that I just paid for the pattern across town at the other store! Boy was I ticked at myself!! (The only positive to this story is that I saw a new dollar store that I went in and found some things that I had been looking for.)

Well, the rest of the day went fine until this evening when my husband and I went to our precinct caucus meeting. Even though I haven't been able to serve as a delegate so far (mostly because of my young kids), I like going and voting and knowing what is going on politically in our neighborhood and state. I have gone ever since we moved to our home here and wasn't about to miss it this year because of chemo brain. Well, we showed up at the middle school where our precinct was meeting and I looked on the precinct map that they had and I thought I figured out which precinct we are in (they recently redrew all of the precinct boundaries) so we headed to the cafeteria of the school where our precinct was meeting and when we got there we didn't recognize anyone in the room. Then we realized that I had read the map incorrectly and we were in the wrong location... We did finally figure out where we were supposed to be meeting and it was quite an interesting caucus meeting - the most people I have ever seen there. The precinct chair counted about 90 people there from he said 300 that are registered in our precinct. I think the most I have ever seen at one of our precinct meetings before tonight has maybe been 25 people. I'm hoping next time I will be in a position to be able to run for either a precinct position or a delegate position. There is something about politics that I find fascinating. I think it was also the longest meeting that we have been to because we didn't get home until around 9:30 that night.

There were a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a while that were curious how I was doing and feeling. Unfortunately with my chemo brain I wasn't feeling entirely there or super talkative either.

My parents came over to watch the girls this morning while I went to the clinic for my lab work. There was a new nurse who accessed my port and after that experience I think nurses need to take a class on small talk before they get their nursing degree... I've had some interesting questions and conversations, but I think this one takes the cake. The nurse started off by asking me if I have any family that lives nearby (usually they ask if I live nearby because some people travel from out of state for the care they receive at the Huntsman Cancer Institute). I responded that my parents don't live too far so it is nice because they have been able to help with the kids. Then she asked how many kids I have and I responded that I have 6. Most people are caught off guard by that answer because they think I look too young to have that many kids. Then she asked me if I was married... Hmmmm. Let's see, no I am a young mother of 6 kids, wearing a wedding ring on my finger, but I am not married... Let's think about that for a minute... I just thought the whole conversation was a little odd, but maybe that's just me and I am assuming too much.

After I came back home, my mom stayed at the house for a little bit helping out with cutting out the Easter dresses that I will be making for the girls. Later that evening Blondie had her first soccer practice (I'm not ready for soccer season yet!) and then I cooked hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill for dinner. Unfortunately I've had my headache again today and I feel like I still have the chemo brain. It makes me feel like my response time is really slow and things aren't quite as they should be. Last night while I was trying to sleep I was laying in bed and I knew that my husband was right there next to me, but for some reason I had the feeling that I was far away, looking at him from a distance. It was a really weird feeling...

I feel like I would be alright if I could just get rid of this headache... I've been liberally taking the ibuprofen lately so that I can get better control over it, but as funny as it may sound, I don't like taking medicine unless I feel that I absolutely have to. Other than that things have been pretty low key today. DH has a deadline at work this coming Thursday so he has been working some later evenings and doing some more work after he gets home. Thankfully the weather has been nice so the kids have been able to go outside and burn off some of their energy.

I did not let MJ take a nap today because her sleep schedule is so messed up because of Daylight Savings Time. She was up until after 11 p.m. last night... Thankfully she went right to sleep when DH put her down around 8:30!

I've definitely had more of the chemo brain today and just not too interested in doing anything at all. I've mostly laid around the house today reading or watching T.V. with the girls. After driving M&M's carpool to orchestra this afternoon I came home with the girls and just let them play around outside until their other siblings got home and then we stayed out for another hour or so. It was nice to just sit out there in the sun and watch the kids run around and have some fun. They have definitely been getting stir-crazy inside lately. I think that MJ is going to want to live outside this summer.

After dinner I ran to the grocery store (so I could go without taking any kids). Last night I didn't sleep too well because it was just too warm for me in the house and my intestines were all churning around inside. Hopefully things will straighten themselves out here shortly...