My parents came over to watch the girls this morning while I went to the clinic for my lab work. There was a new nurse who accessed my port and after that experience I think nurses need to take a class on small talk before they get their nursing degree... I've had some interesting questions and conversations, but I think this one takes the cake. The nurse started off by asking me if I have any family that lives nearby (usually they ask if I live nearby because some people travel from out of state for the care they receive at the Huntsman Cancer Institute). I responded that my parents don't live too far so it is nice because they have been able to help with the kids. Then she asked how many kids I have and I responded that I have 6. Most people are caught off guard by that answer because they think I look too young to have that many kids. Then she asked me if I was married... Hmmmm. Let's see, no I am a young mother of 6 kids, wearing a wedding ring on my finger, but I am not married... Let's think about that for a minute... I just thought the whole conversation was a little odd, but maybe that's just me and I am assuming too much.

After I came back home, my mom stayed at the house for a little bit helping out with cutting out the Easter dresses that I will be making for the girls. Later that evening Blondie had her first soccer practice (I'm not ready for soccer season yet!) and then I cooked hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill for dinner. Unfortunately I've had my headache again today and I feel like I still have the chemo brain. It makes me feel like my response time is really slow and things aren't quite as they should be. Last night while I was trying to sleep I was laying in bed and I knew that my husband was right there next to me, but for some reason I had the feeling that I was far away, looking at him from a distance. It was a really weird feeling...

I feel like I would be alright if I could just get rid of this headache... I've been liberally taking the ibuprofen lately so that I can get better control over it, but as funny as it may sound, I don't like taking medicine unless I feel that I absolutely have to. Other than that things have been pretty low key today. DH has a deadline at work this coming Thursday so he has been working some later evenings and doing some more work after he gets home. Thankfully the weather has been nice so the kids have been able to go outside and burn off some of their energy.

I did not let MJ take a nap today because her sleep schedule is so messed up because of Daylight Savings Time. She was up until after 11 p.m. last night... Thankfully she went right to sleep when DH put her down around 8:30!

I've definitely had more of the chemo brain today and just not too interested in doing anything at all. I've mostly laid around the house today reading or watching T.V. with the girls. After driving M&M's carpool to orchestra this afternoon I came home with the girls and just let them play around outside until their other siblings got home and then we stayed out for another hour or so. It was nice to just sit out there in the sun and watch the kids run around and have some fun. They have definitely been getting stir-crazy inside lately. I think that MJ is going to want to live outside this summer.

After dinner I ran to the grocery store (so I could go without taking any kids). Last night I didn't sleep too well because it was just too warm for me in the house and my intestines were all churning around inside. Hopefully things will straighten themselves out here shortly...

I DO NOT LIKE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!! Does it really save us anything??? (Okay, enough about that.)

I took a little bit of a nap after church today and had a primary meeting to go to after dinner. Things went well. I feel a little foggy headed today with a headache again. I don't quite feel like I am firing on all cylinders today. It also makes me more short-tempered and irritable... I don't like using the term chemo-brain, but I think I have it this time around...

Mostly just dealing with a headache and a little more tired than usual the last couple of days. My bowels aren't quite working right, but that seems to be status quo with my chemo treatments. I've also had a little bit of neuropathy - this time more in my feet so far. I've been sleeping alright although it has been getting warmer which has been keeping the house a little warmer at night. This morning I was able to take M&M to the fabric store to pick out some fabric for an Easter dress. Hopefully we can pull it off and she ends up liking it in the end. I will keep you posted on my family blog.

Headache city today! Other than that I have felt alright. I think my bowels are a little stopped up right now, so I am slowly taking some Senokot so that I hopefully won't go to the other extreme like last time. I tried to run a few errands today but after going to another fabric store with the little girls I didn't feel like I had the energy to go to the grocery store with them as well. After lunch I was able to cut out some fabric for one of the girls' Easter dresses and then after dinner I went to the grocery store without any of the kids.

Well, the nurse from Huntsman called this morning to tell me that my CA-125 number has dropped to 26! So I am down in the normal range now! Yea!! I didn't get a chance to talk to her so I'm not sure if that means that I am officially in remission or what. I guess I will find out for sure in 3 weeks when I go back in to meet with my oncologist.

I'm not sure what's up with MJ's sleeping schedule but it has been completely messed up since she got sick the last time. She didn't take a nap Tuesday or Wednesday of this week (just stayed awake in her bed for an hour or two) and today she played in her bed for an hour before she finally fell asleep. Then once the kids got home from school they woke her up before she was ready so she was completely cranky for a while. When I put her down for bed this evening she has been playing and crying off and on now for the past hour. Hopefully we will get back on a regular schedule here pretty quickly!! I got a facetime call from my oldest sister today and it was nice to talk with her for a few minutes.

I forgot to mention yesterday that on our drive up to the Huntsman Institute, I realized that I had forgotten my purse at home with my I.D. in it. Unfortunately we were almost there and it didn't really make sense to turn around and go back for it. The Huntsman Clinic has a policy that each time you go in for an appointment you're supposed to have an I.D. and your insurance card with you. We decided to just take a chance and hopefully they would let it slide this time. Plus it is usually the same receptionists working there each week I go in so I was hopeful that they would recognize me and not worry about the I.D. Well, as luck would have it when we got up to the clinic there was a man working behind the receptionist desk that I had never seen before! He asked for my I.D. and insurance card and I mentioned that I had forgotten my I.D. at home and he said that that was okay. Whew! DH had his insurance card with him so we used that and then DH paid the copay for me. DH and I have discussed the I.D. policy before and have wondered who would want to go in to a cancer clinic to have lab work done or receive chemo treatment just for fun, masquerading as someone else??

Last chemo treatment was today! I woke up with a headache which always starts my day off on the wrong foot... My appointment was earlier than my last few so the office was less busy and we found a parking spot with no problems. I can't believe that this is my 6th treatment!

Things went well with my appointment before the treatment. There were some changes in the study that I am on so the person over the trial studies had to review the changes with us and I had to resign the the consent form. It mostly changed the list of side effects for the experimental drug - Avastin (or Bevacizumab). One of the added side effects (which apparently doesn't occur very often) is a condition called osteonecrosis of the jaw - which is the deterioration and death of the jawbone... I mentioned the two times now that I have had my lower jaw hurting and they said to keep an eye on it and mention the treatment that I am on when I visit my dentist next so he can watch for signs of the bone disease. If it appears that I am developing this problem I will pull myself from the study (and my doctor will probably not allow me to remain on it anyways.

I also mentioned the headaches that I have been having and some stuffy nose/bleeding nose issues I have had since starting my chemo treatments. There was a medical fellow doing most of the appointment today and he said there was some inflammation in my nose which could be associated with a sinus infection. I'm not convinced that that is my problem, but I will look into more info on it.

My chemo treatment went pretty smoothly. For some reason my husband wasn't able to get his laptop connected to the free WiFi offered at Huntsman and he was planning on doing a lot of work there because he has a major deadline coming up. That put a pretty big crimp in his day so luckily I had brought some movies with me and we ended up watching a movie. (This was the first time that we turned the T.V. during my chemo treatments.) Unfortunately it didn't help at all with my husband's work deadline so he will have to work even harder over the next couple of days.

The nurse that was administering my meds today was really concerned when she started me on the Carboplatin. She said that the effects with that drug are cumulative and that you really have to watch for reactions, especially with the 5th and 6th cycles. She said that if I experienced any itching anywhere on my body or felt that my mouth was swelling up on the inside to call her immediately. She was quite pleased when we got to the end of the infusion of that drug and I hadn't had any of those symptoms.

This week my Avastin infusion was just over 30 minutes and the nurse said that my future Avastin infusions will only 30 minutes as well. So from here on out my infusion appointments should be pretty quick. After I was through with the infusion I mentioned to the nurse to keep an eye on my port after she removed the needle to watch for bleeding. She put some gauze on it and had me apply pressure to it and then put a larger bandaid on it. When we checked the gauze there was only a tiny spot of blood.

I got a copy of my last three lab tests and the interesting thing was that my white blood cell counts were at their lowest 2 weeks ago, not 1 week ago and that my red blood cell counts were at their lowest today - but still well above the minimum that they allow for the chemo treatment to proceed as planned.

I've had a lot of people ask me if I was excited with this being my last chemo treatment and I haven't been quite sure how to respond. While this was my last chemo treatment today, I will still be going in every three weeks for infusion of the Avastin drug. This is not a chemotherapy drug and will be a much quicker infusion and shouldn't have nearly as many side effects so on that hand it is good to be done with the chemo side of it.

Over the next month I have a CT scan scheduled and a mammogram to check for any signs of cancer. And hopefully I will get a call tomorrow from the nurse telling me that my CA-125 number is in the normal range and I think that that will hopefully mean that I am officially in remission!! Stay tuned!

I want to send a big thanks out to my parents for spending the day at our house watching the kids again. It's nice to know that they are in good hands! Thankfully we made it home a little earlier today - we got home at about 5:40 and dinner had been brought by a few minutes earlier from a family in the ward. Thanks! It's nice to not have to worry about dinner when you've been gone all day!

I ran some errands today and got some more fabric that I needed to make the Easter dresses for the girls. Thankfully MJ and Kay were both fine for me at the fabric store. It always seems to take a lot longer for me to get what I need there than I anticipate. I also spent a good portion of the day trying to do some more housework, finishing up the laundry and getting it put away. My last chemo treatment is tomorrow! Wish me luck!

I stayed around the house today doing laundry and trying to get caught up on a few things (like housework). Other than that, not much going on.

We all made it back to church today! MJ still has a little bit of a cough and stuffed up nose so I kept her with me instead of sending her to nursery. Other than that things are fine. This morning while I was getting ready for church, Blondie came into my bathroom to ask me something. I was getting ready to "draw" my eyebrows on so I asked her if she liked my eyebrows. She looked at me and said, "But you don't have any." Then she proceeded to watch me draw them on with a brow pencil and she thought that that was pretty interesting how I could use what looked like a colored pencil to draw eyebrows on myself.

Okay, I think my posts are getting pretty boring lately. I feel fine (other than a bit of a headache off and on) and the kids are finally getting over their sicknesses as well. I went to a ward baptism this morning and then spent the rest of the day doing a little bit of cleaning and running some errands.

Now onto some more interesting stuff! Lately I have been thinking about some things that I should blog about, but when my kids are around, blogging is hard to do. When I have my ipad out and I am trying to use that, MJ and Kay both think that it is a toy and want to play with it. Whenever I get on our desktop computer to blog from there, MJ wants to come over and sit on my lap and then she ends up trying to play with the keyboard or mouse and I am not able to get anything productive done. Sometimes I try and blog during MJ's naptime, but sometimes I would like to just lay down and relax while she's napping or sit and watch and kid show or two with Kay. Well, enough about my difficulties in blogging, here is what I have been wanting to blog about: my head gear.

It is amazing to me how cold my head can get with no hair on it. I'm not sure if men who have gone bald, or men who choose to shave their head just get used to it after a while or if my hormone changes has affected me as well. Sometimes I will walk around the house with nothing on my head, but when my head starts feeling cold I will quickly put a hat on to warm me up. I have several hats that I will wear around the house and several that I will wear if I am going out somewhere. Most of my "house hats" I do not wear out in public because I think that anyone who sees me in one of these hats will know that I have cancer - and it's not something that I like to announce to total strangers.

Usually when I go out in public though I will wear my wig. It's taken me a little while to get used to seeing myself in it, but I am fine with it now. Some people that I know that haven't seen me in my wig still have a hard time recognizing me at first. The wig is super easy to wear. I have gotten pretty quick at just throwing on my wig and making sure that the hairs are in place and then I'm ready to go. I don't have to brush or style my hair everyday - it just pretty much stays the same day in and day out. And it only needs to be washed every couple of weeks - super easy maintenance. I am fine with people seeing me bald, but I would prefer it be people that already know me and my story. What I don't want is to go out in public and have people - complete strangers - feeling sorry for me because they can tell just by looking at me that I have cancer. The truth is that I feel completely healthy at this time and don't want people that I don't know treating me differently because of what they see.

Now, there are also some downsides to wearing a wig. My biggest fear with wearing a wig is that it will blow off in the wind. It can be quite windy here where we live and there have been several times in the last couple of days where I have been concerned about this while walking outside between my car and a store. I also have this fear when wearing a hat - especially one of my wide=brimmed hats - but I don't feel weird putting a hand on my hat to keep it from flying away. I do feel weird about putting my hand on my wig to make sure it doesn't fly away!

One of my other fears is that one of younger kids will pull my wig off. This especially concerns me when I am at church in Sacrament Meeting and they are crawling all over me. I try not to take my wig off when MJ is watching because I think she might get it into her head that she can pull it off too whenever she wants. Then there's Kay who just likes to see my bald head and is always fascinated by it and my wig. In fact there have been several times where she has tried grabbing my wig and saying something like, "I want to see your bald head.

When I first was losing my hair, I always had the fear that I would forget to put a hat on when someone came to the door. I don't really fear that anymore, but I still like to have something on my head when people stop by.

I very rarely wear my wig around the house. Usually when I come home, I will go up to my room and take it off and put a hat on in its place. Partly it is so that I don't ruin it or get it dirty when I sit on the couch or cook in the kitchen or clean. Also, MJ has always loved to play with my hair and when I wear the wig around the house she will pull on the hair when I am holding her and I am afraid that she will pull the hairs out of the wig if she tugs too hard.

For bed I will usually wear a really light-weight hat made out of a knit fabric. I have found that a lot of times my head will get cold because of what my head is touching - like the couch or my pillow. Sometimes I will wake up in a hot sweat from being too hot (and the wonderful h ot flashes of menopause). Because of this, sometimes I prefer not to wear a hat to bed - but then I have the problem of my head being too cold on my pillow. I finally tried putting a fleece blanket on top of my pillow and that is much warmer to sleep on then my cotton/polyester pillow case. So lately I usually just sleep with no hat on and a fleece blanket on my pillow and my head is fine at night. Although sometimes I don't realize how cold my head is until I put a hand on it and feel how cold I really am.

Luke stayed home once more today and M&M was off of school so I had the majority of kids at home today. I feel fine and Luke was finally starting to feel better by the end of the day. I think he will be well enough to return to school tomorrow. I got some cleaning and organizing done today that I've been wanting to do for a while. There is just so much to do at my house always!! Hopefully one of these days I will be able to get on top of everything. (Probably not while there are kids in the house still though!) It's hard having sick kids because it completely changes what I can get done during the day. Usually it means I can't go anywhere and when MJ is sick and whiny, I can hardly do anything because she just wants to hang onto me all day long. My stomach muscles have been sore by the end of the day the last couple of days because I have had to carry her around with me so much.

Luke stayed home from school today again... His stomach was hurting him last night and he has thrown up a couple of times today. I'm not sure if it is the same sicknesses that he had at the beginning of the week or a new one. I feel fine once again. I think my skin got irritated by the bandaids that the nurse put over my port and/or she put the bandaids on way too tight because that area around my port was killing me in the shower this morning! Every time the water from the shower hit it, I almost wanted to yell out in pain! It also doesn't help that MJ isn't feeling well and flops her head around on my chest all day long - and sometimes hits my port with her head... My jaw is feeling much better today and the sore on my tongue is almost completely healed. It looks like the clove is helping once again.

Everyone went to school today! They all have slight coughs, but hopefully they are out of the contagious stage... My parents came over to watch the little girls for me while I drove to the clinic to have my blood drawn for the lab work. I mentioned to the nurse that accessed my port that last week it bled onto my shirt so she made sure to put pressure on the spot for longer than usual. She said that it was oozing quite a bit afterwards and she put some extra gauze and two bigger band-aids over it before I left. She said to mention to my doctor the bleeding as well as any nurses that access my port. My husband is wondering if it is the Avastin that is causing the extra bleeding since I've only had it the 2 nd and 5th chemo cycles snd I haven't had any bleeding problems before last week. It's something I'll have to keep an eye on. I got a call after I got home letting me know that my white blood cell count is low again - which was not a surprise.

MJ was asleep on the floor when I got home. My mom said that she had been pretty whiny while I was gone. All afternoon she just whined and cried and fell asleep a few times on my lap. Why is it that sick kids only want their mom? Usually it's not that big of a problem (except that you can't get anything done), but when I'm trying not to get sick myself, it makes things difficult. Hopefully MJ and Kay will get better soon...

My eyebrows are falling out. The outer half of each brow is almost completely gone. I've started trying to pencil them in a little to make them look more normal. My jaw is feeling a little better today, but it's still a little tender.

Today is the first day in quite a while that I haven't had a headache! Yea! I sent everyone but Blondie to school today. She has a horrible cough! So far I'm still feeling healthy, keeping my fingers crossed, knock on wood. MJ and Kay have bad coughs too and MJ hasn't been napping well. We have had more sicknesses as a family this winter then I ever remember before. The weird thing is that it has been a much milder winter than normal so you'd think there wouldn't be as many sicknesses going around...

The three elementary school kids stayed home from school today. I still feel alright, but DH stayed home to help out with the kids. I've been taking my temperature throughout the day and the highest it ever got was 99.6. One of my visiting teachers brought dinner over which was very nice. We haven't been eating too well the last few days because no one feels like eating much. M&M had a concert downtown with her youth symphony group during school and when she got home she was pretty wiped out. I'm hopeful that a couple more kids will be able to go back to school tomorrow.

I haven't been eating great the last few days because I have a small sore on my tongue and the right side of my jaw is hurting again. I'm not sure if I bit my tongue or cut it on something, but it really hurts when I am trying to eat! My jaw was hurting back in the first part of December, before my surgery. I've been using the essential oil, clove, on it again and I'm hoping that it resolves on its own like last time.

My scalp has finally started feeling better. It is very stubbly right now with some hair growth and the pimple-like sores are finally starting to go away. My head is a little flaky right now though.

Well, we all stayed home from church today. I think this is the first time that our whole family has stayed home because of sickness. I had a meeting before church that I went to and then I went back home and changed out of my church clothes and helped take care of the sick kids - all 6 of them. I feel like I am giving out medicine like it's candy. As soon as one of the kids started complaining about being hot or cold or a headache, I knew that their medicine had worn off and it was time to give out some more. I was feeling fine until it got into evening time and then I started feeling really hot and my stomach started cramping up. I had DH come and take MJ from me and I went upstairs to eat something and then took my temperature. It was 99.6. I'll have to keep an eye on it. I think my stomach was just cramping up because I was hungry. After I got something in my stomach I felt fine the rest of the day. My temperature was back to normal by the time I went to bed - another late night thanks to MJ. I've also had a headache all day but I'm not sure if that is from the chemo or the sickness going around.

The kids are dropping like flies. Luke woke up feeling miserable and then the girls have one by one been developing fevers as well. So far DH and I are fine. My mom's stake was having a Relief Society luncheon today with Sister Wendy Watson Nelson speaking and she invited me to attend it with her. I had been waffling back and forth on whether or not to go and in the end finally decided to go. I'm glad I did. She was a very entertaining speaker and it was enjoyable to get away from the sick kids for a few hours. Thanks to DH for holding up the home fort for me.

After we got the kids to bed, about an hour or so later MJ and Kay both woke up and didn't go back to bed until around midnight. I'm just hoping that I don't catch anything. Unfortunately our family keeps getting these sicknesses when my immune system is at its lowest. If my temperature gets above 100.4 degrees I am supposed to go to the hospital because my body is not able to fight off infection during my chemotherapy treatments.

M&M woke up sick this morning. I think it might be the flu. She has body aches, headache, fever, chills and an upper respiratory cold. She stayed home today which meant that I had to change my plans for the day to help take care of her. She just laid around on the couch all day... By that evening Luke was coughing up a storm so he may be next. I feel fine so far so if it is the flu and all the kids get it and DH and I don't then this will be a case where the flu shot has actually worked.

I had to hurry to the bathroom a few times this morning, but after that I started to feel back to normal. Hopefully my bowel issues are over with for this chemo cycle. I also didn't have my pounding headache today. This morning I took the girls with me to the fabric store and bought some patterns and fabric to make the girls' Easter dresses. Kay is super excited. She mentions Easter just about every day now and keeps asking me when it will be here. My scalp is super sore today! I have little red pimple-like bumps all over it and it's not much fun. I'm not sure what has caused it, but I'm hoping we won't have to shave my head ever again!