Went in for a Breast MRI this morning, followed up by a dr's appt with my oncologist at Huntsman and then an infusion.  I had to be at the clinic at 7:30 a.m. for lab work and then went over for my MRI appt at 8:15.  I was a little nervous about the MRI because the one I had a year ago wasn't very pleasant.  For the breast MRI you have to lay face down on the table and then you go inside the machine backwards.  This one was actually not too bad.  I definitely prefer the way they do the scan at Huntsman to the way it was done at St. Mark's last year.  At St. Mark's they told me that they would not be able to talk to me at all during the scan and I wasn't allowed to listen to any music - they just had head phones on my ears to dampen the sound of the scan.  At first it wasn't too bad but then you lose all sense of time and at one point I almost started to panic, wondering when it would be over.  At Huntsman the lady put me on the table and made sure that I was comfortable and then she said there would be a series of 4 scans - the first three were about 4-6 minutes each and then the last one would be the longest at 8-9 minutes.  She said that she would talk to me in-between each one and then she let me pick what kind of music I wanted to listen to.  It was definitely a much more pleasant experience!

Once my scan was done I had almost 2 hours before my dr's appt.  So I walked over to the waiting room for my clinic and then just sat there doing some work on my ipad and reading.  About 45 minutes before my appt I checked in just in case they were running ahead of schedule.  They called me right back, not realizing that I had already had my lab work done.  They weighed me and took my temperature and blood pressure and my heart rate and then sent me back out to the waiting room for a little while longer.  They when they called me back again I had to wait quite a while before anyone came in to see me.  I had the fellow doctor that I saw back in March again and he did the initial exam before the doctor came in.  Everyone was curious to take a look at my side where I had the sore.  At first my doctor was all concerned about it and telling me that next time I should make sure to call them first and go in to see one of their doctors at Huntsman.  Then when she finally realized that I had gone to a dermatologist at the Huntsman center's satellite office (which is much closer to me), she was much happier and pleased about it.  They were able to pull up the results from the lab work done on my side and print it out for me.  Apparently it was officially diagnosed as a type of cyst.  My oncologist said that if the dermatologist needed to do some minor surgery on the site, it shouldn't be a problem with the Avastin that I am on.

After my dr's appt, I had a little bit of time before my infusion so I went up to the eatery and got myself something to eat for lunch.  Then I went down and checked in for my infusion.  I didn't have too long to wait before they called me back.  I have now become one of those people in the infusion room that I used to envy - those that come in, get their treatment and then leave in less than an hour!  Today they got my Avastin really quickly, even the nurse was surprised.  I was finally in and out in less than an hour!  It was very nice!

The new antibiotic that I am on for the sore on my side makes me a little bit nauseous for about 30-60 minutes right after taking it.  Thankfully I only have to take it twice a day and I just have another day and a half left of it.  The hole is finally starting to close up so I just stopped wearing a bandaid over it a day or two ago.  Hopefully my skin will recover quickly from wearing a constant bandaid on that spot. I need to call the dermatologist to schedule a follow-up appointment for sometime next week.  It still feels like there is a little bit of a hard spot under the skin so I won't be surprised if they want to cut me open a little more to remove it all...

I feel like my hair is getting shaggy again.  I'm still debating with myself as to how long or short I want to keep it.  DH likes it the length it is right now and there are definitely benefits to it.  It looks pretty crazy in the mornings when I wake up so on the mornings where I have to drive Blondie to orchestra before school I usually put a hat on my head.  This morning after I came back home and took the hat off, Kay saw me and said, "Whoa Mom!  Crazy hair!"  Here's a picture of it this morning:

Finally got a call from the dermatologist yesterday evening.  She said that the results were back from the culture that was done on my sore and it is not infected at all.  It was just normal gram positive rod bacteria that is present in everyone's skin - no infection whatsoever.  So after looking at it under the microscope they are pretty sure that what happened was I had a small cyst just under the skin and something happened which caused it to rupture and the redness and pain that I was experiencing was just inflammation.  The doctor told me that she was going to put me on a new antibiotic that is specifically for treating inflammation instead of the one I was on which was for infection.  It is still draining slightly so I am still keeping a bandaid over the spot.  The doctor told me to come back in about 3-4 weeks and then she would take a look at it again and decide if we needed to do anything more to treat it.

My left eye has been twitching off and on ever since my infusion last Wednesday.  I'm not sure if it's related or not but I want to document it.

The sore on my left side has been slowly getting better.  It was still oozing quite a bit for the first two days and I had to put a bandage and gauze on to prevent it from bleeding on my clothes.  There is still a red circle and it feels a little hard still underneath the skin so I'm not sure if that is infection in it still or something else.  I am still waiting for a call from the dermatologist to let me know the results of the cultures.  It feels a ton better though and there is just a little tenderness right at the location.  In addition to that though my skin is getting really irritated with the bandaids I have been having to wear at that same spot for the last week...  It was really itching me yesterday.

My kids have been off-track from school the last couple of weeks and so I signed them up for morning swim lessons to give us something to do.  It wasn't until I had signed them up that I realized that I had my next infusion on the morning of their last day of swim lessons.  My infusion was originally scheduled for 8:30 a.m. but I decided to see if they could reschedule it for 7 a.m. so that I would have a chance of getting home in time to take them to their lessons.  So I was up dark and early this morning so that I could leave the house by 6:15.  I had a backup plan in case I wasn't going to be back in time.  I had DH take Blondie to orchestra rehearsal and then had lined up someone to pick her up from that and bring her home.  Luckily it was probably one of my quicker infusion appointments and I was out of there in a little under 2 hours.  I'm thinking I may reschedule all of my infusions to 7:00!

When the nurse came to access my port she asked me about a wound culture that had been ordered the previous day (my visit to the dermatologist).  I explained what the wound was and she then proceeded with my port.  Apparently there is a new procedure now that they are starting where I have to put on a mask while the nurse is accessing me - since she has to put one on as well.  It seems kind of weird and a waste, but that is hospital procedure for you...

When I woke up this morning my side was still oozing a bit so I changed the bandage again.  It is still pretty sore but feeling better.  Hopefully I will get results of the lab work soon...

I would like to preface this post by saying that if you are at all queasy about medical things, you may want to skip this one...  And also all I can say is that my life is far from boring medically speaking...

About a week ago my right side started hurting and I was trying to remember if I had injured it in some way.  It was really starting to bother me so I asked my husband to look at it to see if there was a bruise or something there that he could see.  The spot was located just a couple of inches below my armpit and more toward my back so I was having a hard time seeing it.  When he looked at it he thought that it looked like a pimple that was trying to form in that spot.  So I didn't think much more about it and kept looking at it every once in a while to see if the pimple had formed yet.  Then Sunday evening came around and it was really starting to hurt - very sensitive to the touch and there was a small red round spot at the location.  That night I tried some ice on it to see if the swelling and pain would decrease at all.  On Monday it wasn't much better and probably got a little worse.  By this time it was a bit bigger and incredibly painful - even to move that arm much.  After doing some looking on the internet that night I decided to try some heat on it and that seemed to help some.  In the morning it didn't hurt quite as much but the spot seemed to be the same size.  I decided that I should probably see if I could setup an appointment with a dermatologist.  Luckily I was able to find one that could see me at 5:00 that day.

After I gave the dermatologist the short rundown of my medical history, she took a look at the spot and I think was quite surprised by how big it was...  Her first impression was that it was just a large abscess.  She asked if I wanted her to try cutting a small hole in the top of it to see if she could get some of the infection out.  She wasn't sure if we would get a lot out but thought that it was worth a try.  That sounded great to me at this point.  So she had me lay down on my left side and then numbed the spot up with some lidocaine.  That really hurt - the needle felt really sharp and stung a little.  Then she cut a hole in it and was surprised by how much pus came out.  She then tried pushing around the whole spot to try and get as much out as she could.  That hurt like crazy!!  She kept asking if I was alright or if I needed to take a break.  I had her stop twice to give me a minute to relax a little...  She then asked if I was okay with her cutting the hole slightly larger so that she could try and get more out without having to push so hard.  She put a little more lidocaine on the spot and then resumed her pushing.  At one point I heard her ask the nurse for some forceps - so I'm not exactly sure what she was doing back there but I didn't feel like asking either.  She made a comment once that just when she thought she had gotten most of the infection out, more would start coming.  Then she said that she wondered if instead of an abscess it was a cyst located just below the skin that had ruptured and then become infected.  They took several tissue samples so they could culture it and she said they would look at it under a microscope as well.  Finally the doctor said that she thought they had most of it since it was mostly blood coming out at that point.  They cleaned and bandaged me up and said that they would leave the hole open to allow the wound to continue to drain.  The doctor said that if it turns out to be a cyst like she suspects then I may have to come back in so they can cut me open more so they can remove all of it and then stitch me back up (sounds like fun, huh?).  The nurse sent me home with some more bandages and some vaseline to apply to it when I change the bandage.  The doctor also gave me a prescription for an antibiotic to take and said that they would call me in a couple of days once they had the results from the cultures.

I then went down to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and then went out to my car to drive home.  As soon as I climbed into my car I just started crying because that procedure had hurt so bad - and was still hurting!  I was able to regain my compose after a minute or so and was able to get myself home.  The doctor had offered to give me a prescription for a painkiller but I thought that I would be alright with just over-the-counter stuff.  After I got home I took a couple of Tylenol and within the hour I felt much better.

Later this evening I emailed my doctor's group at Huntsman to let them know what had happened at the Dermatologist's office and asking if it was alright for me to be on this antibiotic with my Avastin treatments (of which I have one tomorrow morning).  I'm curious what the results will be from the cultures and hopefully this spot will continue to feel better and not get an infection.

When I went to change into my pajamas tonight I found out that the wound had bled/drained quite a bit and totally saturated the bandaid the nurse had put on and there was blood on over my underclothes...  I had DH come up and help me take the bandaid off and clean it up a little and put a new bandaid on.  Then I taped a piece of gauze over it so that hopefully I will not get any blood on my clothes or sheets tonight...

One year and counting...

A year ago today I was officially given the diagnosis of Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.  What a difference a year can make...  After 6 treatments of chemotherapy and major abdominal surgery I am still alive and feel great!  It seems kind of surreal at times to think what I have gone through during this past year - and starting almost a month before this with multiple tests and scans to come to the official diagnosis.  It's been weird going through things right now that a year ago I had such a different outlook on - Stake Conference, General Conference, Sounds of the Season Christmas concert (which I will be playing the flute & piccolo in again this year - yea!), Halloween, soccer season...  Even though I don't think my energy level is quite back up to normal, I feel so much better all the way around than I did a year ago.  Things right now are looking good and I hope & pray that in another year from now I can say the same thing!!  Thanks for all of the support and prayers from everyone!!

Haircut!!  Yesterday I got my hair cut.  It seems totally contrary to what I would want to do, but my hair was getting way too shaggy and unkept looking.  Now it actually looks like it has some shape to it and like I meant to have my hair this length.  I think I need to play around with it a little more and see if I can get it to look like it has a little more volume on top, but on the whole I like it a lot better.  Most of the hair that was cut was on the sides and back.  Now I just need the top to grow some more.  I still haven't decided what length I would like to have in the long run, but right now this is a super easy hairdo to fix in the mornings!  And I didn't know that there were so many choices as far as style goes for short hair.  I need to look more closely at how other people wear their hair and figure out what style I like best for me.

The person who cut my hair was surprised at how even my hair has grown all the way around.  I guess a lot of people who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy have had it come back in clumps and not evenly.  I have been pretty lucky as far as that is concerned.

My lower left jawbone/gums have been bugging me off and on the last couple of days.  I've been using some essential oils on it and it will go away and then come back a day or two later.  I try not to take medicine for it unless absolutely necessary.  One thing is certain though - there are not too many things that will put me in a foul mood quicker than my teeth hurting!  When I realize that I am starting to get short-tempered and cranky with the kids I know that it is time to take something for the pain!  My gums have also been bleeding a little when I brush them.

The cut on my arm is slowly healing.  I think my body is taking longer to heal since I started my infusions...

Here is some evidence that my hair is getting quite a bit longer:

Isn't that some awesome bed head?? 

My rash is almost completely gone after I switched to using a hydrocortisone cream on it.  I guess it is not related to the Avastin at all.  I wish I knew what had caused it though.  Then tonight I went to the grocery store and had to reach up to get something off of the top shelf and on the way down I scraped my arm on something sharp on the corner of the shelf and gave myself a nice long gash on my arm in the same exact place as my rash.  My arm looks terrible right now!

The nurse for my infusion commented at one point while we were waiting for the Avastin that the pharmacy for the trial study drugs always seem to take longer than the ones from the regular pharmacy. I didn't know that there were two separate pharmacies.  I guess I know now that people there for regular infusions not associated with a trial usually don't have to wait as long as me...  When the nurse finally got the Avastin she brought it over and commented to me that she was just looking at my scans and they looked really good.  She seemed really excited about that.  DH and I thought it was a little strange that she had been looking at my scans but maybe her excitement means that it is not uncommon at my stage in treatments to have the cancer growing back at this point.  I'm hesitant to ask my doctors or nurses anything about that because I don't want to get any false hopes up.  Plus they will probably say that there is no way to know at this point whether it will come back or not, we just take it one scan and test at a time.

The infusion went pretty quickly and then we were on our way.  All of the hospitals up near Huntsman are connected through tunnels so we decided to try and make our way through the various hospitals to get back to the Trax station instead of using the shuttle.  We were able to find our way without too much difficulty and we made it to the Trax station just as the train was getting ready to pull out!  It was perfect timing.  We made it hope relatively quickly and got there before the younger kids got home from school.

Got a clear report for my CT scan today.  That's 3 in a row (actually 4 if you count the one immediately following my surgery).  I guess you can say that I have been 6 months cancer free now.  First I need to make it to the 2 year mark to be in remission and then the 5 year mark to be considered really cancer-free.  Keeping our fingers crossed and happy thoughts!!

DH and I decided to try taking the UTA Trax to my appointment today.  We figured that it would take about an hour train ride from the stop near our house and then 15-20 minutes to get from the last stop to the Huntsman center.  My mom got to our house a little more than an hour and a half before my appointment.  DH and I walked to the station and made it with about a minute or two to spare.  It took a little over 50 minutes to get to the last stop and then we crossed the street to the bus stop in front of Primary Children's Medical Center.  While I was trying to figure out if that was the right place to catch the campus bus to the Huntsman center, the shuttle bus that we needed pulled up and it was just a short drive up to our stop.  We got to the clinic about 30 minutes before my appointment - pretty good timing!!

Once we got to the clinic I checked in and figured that we would have to wait for a little bit before they took us back, but we had just barely sat down in the waiting room when they called my name.  Once we were put into one of the examination rooms, it wasn't too long before one of the doctors came in and looked me over and then my main doctor came in.  They asked if I wanted a flu shot and I said that I would think about it and let them know next time I come in.  I showed them the rash on my arm and they don't think that it is related to my treatments but to keep an eye on it - and try some hydrocortisone cream on it.  I have been using a Benadryl cream on it but I'm not sure if it has hydrocortisone in it or not.  I will have to check when I get home.  I also mentioned my bleeding gums and they said to just keep and eye on that as well.  Maybe I need to make an appointment with my dentist (althought that is not one of my more favorite places to visit).  One thing that they didn't give me was my CA-125 number.  I may have to call into the office tomorrow to find that out.

We got finished with the doctor pretty quickly and then went up to the cafe to get some lunch before we headed to the infusion room.  Now I am just waiting for the Avastin from the pharmacy so they can get it started.

I had my 3-month CT scan today.  When I set up the appointment several weeks ago I asked if I could try the other oral contrast drink that is supposed to be a little gentler on the stomach.  I was told that that was fine but I would have to come in an hour and a half before my appointment and I would have to drink the contrast there at the clinic.  So today my parents came over to watch the girls (after I mowed the back lawn and put fertilizer on both the front and back).  I got there almost 2 hours early and went to get the contrast drink.  Apparently it is just something that they mix with a bottle of distilled water and then you drink it.  I was told beforehand that you could bring a single serving packet of Crystal Light powder to add to it to help improve the flavor.  I made sure to ask about that when they gave it to me and they said that it shouldn't really have much taste but I could if I wanted to.  Well, I did try it and it did have kind of a weird taste, so after a few sips I decided to mix the Crystal Light with it.  I then went to the clinic to have my port accessed and labs drawn.  That went relatively quickly.  Usually they need to get a urine sample as well and I asked about that and the nurse said that it wasn't on the order but she would ask about it before I came back.   I then went back to the radiology waiting room to drink the contrast and wait for them to call me back for the scan.  I read some in the book I am reading while waiting - and I was freezing!  It felt really cold to me in the waiting room!

Well, as I was sitting there drinking my contrast and waiting for them to call me back, they called my name about 20 minutes early!  That never happens!  Thankfully I had started drinking the contrast when they first gave it to me instead of following the instructions on the bottle and starting it just an hour before the scan.  I still had probably about a third of a bottle left to drink but they took me back and put me in another little waiting room - I think they were surprised that I already had my port accessed so they didn't need to do an I.V. on me.  Then about a minute later they came and got me again and took me to the room for the scan.

Afterwards I went back to the clinic to have my port de-accessed and as I was waiting I really needed to use the bathroom (after drinking all of that distilled water), but I wanted to wait to hear if they needed a urine sample.  After the nurse was free I asked her and she said that yes I did need to give one.  So I hurried off to the bathroom and then went back to have my port de-accessed.  All in all it was a pretty routine scan and I will find out the results on Wednesday.

Just heard that a neighbor of mine passed away last night...  I am deeply saddened and don't even know what I feel at this moment.  I know that she has been struggling with life for the last little while.  My heart goes out to her children, especially the two youngest that have been good friends with my kids.

Trimmed the hair around my ears today.  It has been getting way too long around my ears and it keeps poofing out, especially when I wear sunglasses!  (Apparently poofing is not a word - at least according to blogger.)  I've been debating what to do with my hair.  I don't mind it being short, I just don't think that I will be able to keep it nice and trim if I keep it at this length.  I'm not the type of person who can/will take time out of my schedule every 6-8 weeks to get my hair done - that's just not my personality.  Maybe when my kids get older and I have more time on my hands (but then again maybe/probably not).  At this point though I think I need to trim a little here and there until the hair on the top of my head catches up with the hair around my face and the back of my neck.

Still have the weird rash on my arm.  Sometimes it really itches - especially at night.  I haven't been doing any work out in the yard and I can't think of anything that I have come in contact with that would cause this reaction on my arm.

I noticed a weird rash on the underside of my right forearm today.  I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my treatments, but I want to document it.

I've also had some annoying gum bleeding with my front top teeth.  Sometimes when I brush and then spit the toothpaste out, there is some blood in it and then I'll notice that the top gums are bleeding.  There have also been a couple of times where I'll just be going about my day and then I'll notice the taste of blood in my mouth and it is coming from those top gums again.

I all makes me wonder if these treatments I am doing are going to end up being worth it or if they are just causing more hidden problems that we'll find out down the road.  Where is the point when the risks outweigh the benefits??  That's what I'm struggling with right now...

Pretty routine infusion yesterday, if there is such a thing.  When I got there and seated (finally a better seat this time), the nurse who was accessing my port asked if she could show it to the student nurse that was working with her.  She had never seen a port before and I said that I didn't mind at all.  The nurse then talked to the student a little about ports and then showed her the procedure for accessing it.  When she was finished the student asked me if it hurt at all.  I told her that it really didn't feel any worse than having the needle put in when you have blood drawn from an arm vein.  I guess that the needle is a little bit thicker, but once it is in I really don't feel much at all.  The nurse then said that some people use the lidocaine cream and I said that I have had some skin reactions to it so I don't use it anymore.  I also haven't really noticed much difference from when I used it those few times to not using it.

After that the nurse for my infusion came and asked me how I was feeling and then a series of questions about side-effects.  I responded no to all of them and she said, "Well, you're boring, aren't you?  But that's okay, we like boring."  My wait for the avastin wasn't too long today so I was in and out in a relatively short time, which is fine with me!

I think that one thing that my cancer diagnosis has taught me is that we need to be careful what we say to people and to not make assumptions just based on one's appearance.  I've had a couple of instances over the last several months that have really struck the wrong chord with me and I know that I need to just take it in stride and recognize the fact that people don't always know the whole story. Our church building is frustrating at times because sometimes it is super cold there and sometimes it seems really warm.  Twice over the last few months I have been in the church building and have commented to someone about how cold I think it is, only to have the person respond back to me that they think it is warm and that I'll understand more when I get older like them.  Well, guess what?  Even though I am/look young, I have gone through a surgically induced menopause - a total hysterectomy.  And yes I have hot flashes and did quite often until I found something that works for me to combat the menopause symptoms.  So on the one hand I'm a little irritated that people just presume that what they are going through I can't possibly be going through as well and on the other hand I'm grateful that I've found something that works for me so that I very rarely have hot flashes anymore.