I had a little bit of nausea last night and just felt a little unsettled in the stomach after dinner. I didn’t throw up though and tried taking one of my anti-nausea pills.

My stomach has been feeling fine today though.

I noticed my hips were a little sore this morning and as the day has gone on, my arms, neck and back have been getting more and more sore! Hopefully it all passes quickly and that I am able to sleep alright tonight!

I felt pretty tired last night but couldn’t sleep for some reason. I went to bed at a decent hour but was up an hour or two later and spent most of the rest of the night on the couch not really sleeping - not sure what was going on with that.

This afternoon I went to the clinic to get my Neulasta shot. It was super quick and other than a little bit of discomfort from the injection itself, I didn’t mind it at all. I think overall it was better than having the patch on my arm that I kept forgetting about!

Had my 3rd round of chemo today. It was another afternoon appointment which I don’t care for but I haven’t had much choice about it. Thankfully I just got a regular chair today instead of the bed and didn’t have anything extraordinary happen. I mentioned to the doctor the sore muscles and she suggested I try taking some Claritin for about a week to see if that helps with the soreness. I opted to not do the Neulasta patch this time and want to try going in the next day to the clinic near my house to see which I prefer.

My sore arms/muscles lasted a few days and then I was talking to my neighbor after church today who is fighting ovarian cancer as well and we were comparing some notes and she says that it is the Neulasta that probably caused my muscle soreness - which makes sense since I didn’t have that side effect before. She said that she had a few days where she could hardly walk because her hips and joints were so sore.

Have been feeling pretty good overall after my infusion. My biggest side effect has just been headaches and some constipation. Today I have been sore all over though. Whenever I touch my arms especially, they just feel sore to the touch - like I did a big workout but they don’t really feel sore to move.

My infusion appointment was late in the afternoon yesterday so I spent the morning doing some things around the house and running some errands. We left a little after 2:00 for my appointment. When they took me back to the infusion room, I ended up being put in a private room with a bed a - which I wasn’t too excited about. It was the type of bed that I had in during my hospital stay and they are really not very comfortable... It took DH and I several minutes to finally get the bed into a position that was somewhat comfortable for me. I was apparently put into the room because the only nurse available to take another patient was one of the nurses back in the private room section. One of the nurses said that people either love the rooms or hate them...

First I had to have labs drawn and my white blood cell count which was too low last time, came one number lower than the acceptable number for treatment. So they had to contact the doctor and she had to give approval to treat anyways. My infusion didn’t get started until after 4:00 and they had to start with the premeds first which took a little while since they had to wait for one of them from the pharmacy. When the nurse came in to start the Benadryl premed she commented that they give me a pretty hefty dose of it so she wasn’t surprised that it knocked me out. She actually set the Benadryl to dispense over 5 minutes so it wouldn’t hit me so hard all at once. I think it helped because it took a little longer for me to feel drowsy and it wasn’t quite as bad. I did still have a hard time concentrating for a little while and I had a little bit of difficulty forming some words while I was speaking.

They finally started the carboplatin infusion around 5:15 and it took an hour for the infusion. A little bit after 6:00 I got concerned that the pharmacy had already closed and I needed some medication refills that I had sent in earlier in the day. I sent DH down to get them and luckily they were open until 7:00.

During the carboplatin infusion, the nurse came in to put something called a Neulasta on-body injector on my arm. It is supposed to administer a drug called Neulasta into my body 27 hours after it was put on. The Neulasta is supposed to help boost my immune system so that hopefully my white blood cell counts won’t get so low this time around. The problem with the drug is that it is not supposed to be administered until at least 24 hours after the chemo treatment or it will counteract the chemo drug itself. So normally people would have to go back to the office the day after the chemo treatment to get the drug administered. With this on-body injector, it eliminates the need to return to the office the next day. I had to watch a little promo video on the injector that explained how it worked and the do’s and don’ts while using it. I had the option of having it put on my abdomen or the back of my arm - I chose the back of my left arm. It is bigger than I thought it would be and is totally visible when I am wearing short sleeves. The nurse applied it to the back of my arm and then after 3 minutes it beeped and then you hear a sound like a rubber band snapping and then a probe/needle pokes into my arm. It didn’t hurt too bad. The nurse said that there is a small plastic tube that will stay embedded in my arm until after the injection is complete the next day. At 27 hours, the injector is supposed to beep and then the needle/probe will go back into my arm through the plastic tube and the drug will be administered over a 45 minute period. After that the plastic tube and needle will detract from my arm and then the injector light will blink red and I can remove it from my arm. Until the injector is activated, there is a green light that blinks on it every 5-10 seconds to let you know that it is functioning correctly.

So a funny thing happened last night when I woke up around 3:30 a.m. I went to use the bathroom and take a pain pill and when I went in there I noticed a green light flash out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t think much of it, but when I came out of the bathroom, I saw it again. And then again and again. I kept turning around trying to figure out what was flashing, but it seemed to come from different locations. Finally I thought I narrowed it down to my closet so I went in there and shut the door and I kept seeing it. So I turned on the light and was looking around trying to figure out what was causing the flashing, when it finally dawned on me that it was the injector on the back of my arm! I it threw me off because I was not expecting the light to be such a bright flash! DH got a good laugh out of it when I told him that story this morning!

So I was supposed to have an infusion yesterday but when I went in to see the doctor after having lab work drawn, it turns out that my white blood cell counts were too low and so we have had to delay it until next Monday. So that has simplified this week a little bit for me because there were a few things that I wasn't sure if I would be able to do or not depending on how I was feeling after the infusion. The doctor was pleased to hear that my pain has gone down a lot though and my blood pressure was back to normal - it has been too high lately.

This morning I got a note from my doctor saying she was super happy that my ca-125 number dropped so much. So I went out and looked at the lab results and my ca-125 has dropped from 2002 (3 1/2 weeks ago) to 284. That is a really good sign that the carboplatin is doing its job!

Went to the girls' soccer games this morning/afternoon and then made some dinner - including homemade french fries! I love homemade french fries! They are totally worth the effort! (Although unfortunately I had to run to the grocery store last minute for a few things.)  Kay made a comment when I was making the dinner that it was good to have me cooking again.

As soon as we were finished with dinner Kitty, Kay and I ran to the church to watch the General Women's Broadcast. There were some good talks - although it is a little hard for me to sit in the church chairs for that long. The weather has been crazy that last few days with rain and cold temperatures! It is almost like we have skipped fall and got straight to winter!

Not too much to report from the last couple of days. I definitely feel really tired in the afternoons! Today my kids had piano lessons that I had to drive them around to for a chunk of the afternoon and I was completely exhausted by the time we were through!

Apparently I wasn't running 100% mentally today. I went to the grocery store in the afternoon to pick up a few things and when I got to the store, I pulled the keys out of the ignition and set them down so that I could write one more thing on my list and thought when I set them down that that was a dangerous thing to do. Then I promptly got out of the car and locked the doors using the switch inside the door and closed the door with the keys inside! I realized immediately what I had done. Luckily DH was working from home and I was able to call him to bring me the spare car key...

I haven't really had any issues with swelling today. I have had some stomach cramping, but other than that and being a little tired, I have been fine.

I decided to just take it easy today and try and get the swelling down in my leg. It did look better after last night's rest but was still a little swollen this morning. I did put on a compression sock after church yesterday and wore it until this morning when I showered. I am not sure if it helps or not.

I did several loads of laundry and just sat around chilling. After we had dinner we went for a walk around Oquirrh Lake which was a nice diversion. Overall I still feel pretty good and haven't been nauseous.

I went to the younger girls' soccer games yesterday and tried to just carry on as normal. Overall I felt pretty good yesterday  - probably just a little more tired than normal. I haven't really felt nauseous since my treatment which is a good thing.

I decided to go to church today but I'm not sure if that was a good call or not. My left leg started swelling up pretty bad while I was there and it was pretty swollen by the time I got home from the 3 hour church block. Then our home teachers came over and then we went to my parents' house for dinner. Overall I think I overdid it for my leg a little. I think some of it is the fluid that they gave me for the infusion that has pooled up in my leg again. It makes things pretty uncomfortable and doesn't look too pretty!

Had my first infusion this morning. I was given a bunch of premed through my port before the chemo drug was given. One of them that they give me is Benadryl and it knocks me how within just a minute or two of giving it to me. I told the nurse this before she gave it to me and then after she came and brought by some paper work to go over and I was having a hard time paying attention/staying awake. She asked me at one point if I was alright and I said that I was just getting really drowsy - I think she was completely surprised with how quickly it knocked me out. She came back later and said that I am a pretty light-weight if it takes me out that quickly! I pretty much just went in and out of sleep during the whole infusion while DH did some work on his laptop across from me. Other than that I was just tired the rest of the day and didn't do too much. We had a family in the ward bring us a meal that evening which helped as well.

I've been slowly getting back to normal activities but unfortunately my back/hip pain is pretty intense at times. It is making it hard to sleep at night. I finally broke down a couple of nights ago and took the stronger pain medication that they gave me after I left the hospital. It worked great and I was able to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep!

Yesterday I met with my oncologist and we came up with a plan of treatment for me. I will be receiving chemotherapy treatments every 3 weeks with just one drug initially. We will see how the cancer responds to the drug and if we feel it is necessary, will add a 2nd drug and then move the infusions to 4 weeks apart. The thinking is that since my body responded so well to this drug the first time around, they are confident/hopeful that I will have the same outcome this time around.

DH came with me to the appointment and we were there for quite a while going over everything and also discussing managing my pain. They gave me some more of the strong medication as well as some anti-nausea ones for when I have my infusions. Right now I will be on the infusions indefinitely - as long as my body is responding well and it is keeping the cancer in check. They were unsure if there would be a need for another surgery because where the tumor is located makes it inoperable at this point. We asked why it didn't show up on the scans and they said that unfortunately that is common - the cancer in that location appeared to be somewhat flat and wrapped around a blood vessel which made it hard/impossible to see in the scan...

My first chemo session is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. I was initially thinking that they could do the infusions at the clinic near my house but they will want to see me before each infusion so it makes sense to just do the infusions downtown at the main building. Plus, they said that the main clinic is more setup to handle any adverse reactions or complications - which apparently with the drug that I will be on - tends to happen on the 8th exposure to the drug - which will be my 2nd infusion this time around.

They will monitor how my body is responding by monitoring my CA-125 levels as well as period scans - probably after the 3rd or 4th cycle.

So, wish me luck for tomorrow!!

Well, things are slowly improving and it is getting easier to do things. I still get pretty winded walking places but managed to go to both of my younger girls' soccer games this morning and then was able to sit through our adult session of stake conference this evening (2 hrs long). My biggest issue with going places is that I don't have a lot of clothes that are comfortable to wear for me right now. I still have quite a bit of weight/fluid/post-surgery stuff around my mid-section (I look pregnant...) so my clothes need to be really loose around the waist. I think with my last surgery I still had maternity clothes that I think I wore afterwards. Unfortunately I have been trying to lose some weight recently and have been getting rid of clothes that were too big.

Unfortunately my old back/hip/leg pain came back last night so I wasn't able to get a lot of sleep because I just couldn't get comfortable. I may have to start taking some of the stronger pain medications - which I have been able to avoid up to this point. The heating pad helps some with the pain. I finished both of my antibiotics today so hopefully whatever bacterias I had are gone now. My left leg - especially around the ankle area is still swelling up some and it is kind of annoying.

The last two nights haven't been too bad other than the fact that I have to get up every hour or two to use the bathroom! I think it is all the fluid that they filled me with at the hospital and that just happens after a surgery that just seems to want to drain itself at night while I am trying to sleep.

I wore a compression sock on my left leg most of the day yesterday and last night and my leg is finally going down in the swelling which I am grateful for. My leg and foot have been about double the size of my right and it has been quite uncomfortable. My left thigh feels bruised all over though.

Today I was able to get more done and am able to move around a little easier. DH went into work today for the first time since my surgery so I was on my own for the day. I had an appointment at the clinic not far from our house this morning to have some labs drawn. So I drove for the first time and didn't have any problems getting to and from the clinic. I am able to manage my pain pretty well and can tell when things are wearing off or if I have overdone things a little.

Happy Labor Day! I slept alright last night. I get up several times a night to use the bathroom or to take some acetaminophen. It is still hard to move around in bed and I feel bad if I move too much because I don't want to disturb DH's sleep.

My parents invited us over to dinner at their house tonight but I really didn't feel up to going so I sent the family and stayed at home. Other than that, not much to report.

Wow my bed felt nice last night. And it was so dark and quiet! I definitely missed that while at the hospital. My first night at home went alright. It is so hard to do anything - even roll from one side to the other while in bed. It is amazing how much you use. Your abdomen muscles without even realizing it.

DH gets to give me Lovonox shots (a blood thinner) every night like with my last surgery. They sent me home with 2 different pain medications, 2 antibiotics, an anti-nausea drug and a stool softener - although I had told the doctor that I didn't need that one since I already have some that I bought over-the-counter. So far I am hoping to only have to take the ibuprofen that they prescribed and then some over-the-counter acetaminophen for pain. When I left the hospital I was down to just taking the acetaminophen and occasionally some ibuprofen - especially at night.

I got up somewhat early today to get the kids up and ready for church. I will stay home today. I am holding off for a bit to allow my ab muscles to recover some more and my leg is still so swollen - I want to keep it elevated as much as possible.

I spent most of the day today just relaxing. Overall I fell alright - all things considered.

Saturday morning one of the doctors came in to see me and we talked about me going home later that day. She said that the CT scan looked good. I was switched to oral antibiotics and they want to monitor me on them for a bit before they feel okay releasing me. Also, apparently my white blood cell count was slightly elevated that morning so they wanted to draw another set of labs that evening and then let me know if i can go home after that. She said that they wanted to monitor me on the antibiotics for 24 hours but she could maybe be persuaded to only do 12. I asked her if they would remove my stitches before I left and she said that they could - usually they wait about 10 days and take them out at a nurses' flow-up visit, but since I have been here 11 days they could do it before I go home.

I was incredibly bored all day on Saturday... First of all there was absolutely nothing on T.V. worth watching so I read a lot and just sat around hoping that my counts would be good later that day. I took some time to start packing my things in hopes that I would be released.

So they came and drew labs at 5 p.m. and then I ordered some dinner and waited. The doctor apparently tried to call my room but I never heard the phone ring, so she called the nurse who brought me the phone. The doctor said that as long as I was feeling well, I could go home!! Yea!! I quickly let DH know and then the nurse started to make preparations for my check-out. She came and removed my staples - which hurt a little bit - and then she said they were preparing the check-out information that they needed to send home with me. Unfortunately we were now at the nurse change-over time so I would have to wait a while until the new nurse could come and go over the info with me and deaccess my port. And they also had to do a last round of vitals - blood pressure, heart rate, temperature and oxygen level.

DH and a couple of the kids showed up to take me home but we ended up waiting probably over an hour before I was finally able to be released. They had to send my prescriptions down to the university hospital because the pharmacy at Huntsman was already closed - and the one at the university was open until 9 p.m. I ended up sending DH down to get the prescriptions because we were waiting so long for the nurses. And he ended up making it back up almost to my room before I was finally ready to go.

It felt nice (and weird) actually putting on real clothes. I have worn a hospital gown for way too long now. DH had to help me with my socks and shoes - it is hard to reach my feet right now. Plus, my left leg and foot is incredibly swollen - we had to loosen my tennis shoe a ton just to get it on.

It was definitely nice getting outside for the first time in 11 days. The ride home was uneventful and as soon as we got there I had to say goodbye to my oldest who was on her way down to BYU for her sophomore year.

Thanks to everyone who helped out my family while I was in the hospital. I know we all greatly appreciated all of the love and kindness that we felt.

Friday morning I kept waiting for a doctor to come in and see me to evaluate how I was doing and answer any questions, and no one showed up - usually someone comes between 6 and 7 in the morning. I woke up pretty hungry and was dying to have something other than liquids - which just do not seem very filling. I finally asked the nurse about it and she paged the doctor and he gave the okay for me to try solid foods. Yea!!

When they finally brought the menu to me I ordered some toast and fruit and some scrambled eggs and sausage. The toast was overcooked, the eggs tasted pretty gross and the sausage was already giving me heartburn after just a couple of bites! Yikes! I think I am going to go crazy here on the hospital food.

I had quite a bit of diahrrea most of the day and felt like I was always having to get up and use the bathroom. There has been little to no drainage again today so that is good news. I have been trying to get up and walking some more but unfortunately need to stay close to the bathroom!

A doctor finally came in and saw me later in the afternoon and I am crossing my fingers that they will let me go home tomorrow. He said that the infectious disease team was going to come talk to me because I guess the ball is somewhat in their court as to whether or not I can be released. Apparently I have two different infections - one in the blood stream and a separate one in my urine. The urinary one is a common one so they are not concerned about that, but they are concerned with how I got the bacteria that is in my blood.

Just as the doctor was about to leave my room the infectious disease team came in and they asked me all sorts of questions and then looked at my abdomen and felt around it to see if I had pain anywhere - which is a silly question to ask someone who has just had major abdominal surgery... I guess afterwards they decided to order a CT scan on me to make sure that there was nothing abnormal that they could see from the scan. I was worried at first that they were going to make me drink the oral contrast - which gives me diahrrea - but they didn't. It was pretty quick - they just wheeled me down to the imaging floor and we were done in less than 10 minutes.

Friday night I did not sleep well at all for some reason. I slept in the same position as the night before but just laid there for hours at a time never really drifting off to sleep.  Plus, I kept having to use the bathroom too.

I felt decent overall on Wednesday but then on Wednesday night, I had a lot of stomach cramps all night long and a lot of heartburn and only got bursts of sleep of about an hour at a time. At one point I finally threw up a few times in a row and it was a nice bright green color - pure stomach acid. My abdomen is still draining a lot and that is a annoying to have to deal with all the time. Thursday morning I pointed out once again to the doctors that my left foot/leg was really swollen so they ordered an ultrasound of my leg to check for any blood clots. I also had an x-ray done of my abdomen to check my bowels and make sure that there was nothing that looked amiss since I still haven't had a bowel movement yet.

A vascular surgeon did the ultrasound of my leg and didn't see any clots, but then he went on to tell me why I have all of the swelling. He says that the beds in the hospital are horrible because they encourage people to sleep with their head and knees up. He says that especially when you are not able to be up and walking around a lot that the fluid in your legs doesn't get pushed back up to your core. When you are sleeping you should sleep completely flat with a pillow under your feet. That will allow gravity to help work that fluid out of the legs. A lot of the fluid too is from the fluid retention that I have because of all the fluids that I am being given plus the fluid build-up from the surgery - I look pregnant right now because there is so much fluid built up in my abdomen.

I try to FaceTime my kids most days and it is sad because they just want me to come home and I just want to be home too - the younger ones are having a hard time understanding why I'm still not home.

Overall I had a pretty good day on Thursday. I am still being pumped with a bunch of stuff through my i.v. - mostly antibiotics and electrolytes because my levels got really low. When my husband and daughter were visiting during the day he had me get up every hour to walk around. I ended the day with making 15 laps around the floor. I still haven't had a huge appetite for anything but I did order a few things off the liquid menu to try and was able to drink more of it than I have been up to this point.

The last couple of times I checked on my fluid drainage, it had almost stopped which I am hoping is a permanent thing! I have only been taking Tylenol today for pain.

So then last night I was feeling pretty good and when I was ready for sleep I got my bed into the totally flat position and laid down on my side and was actually able to sleep pretty good! I think I got about 3 1/2 hours until I had to be woken up for some medication and a Lovonox shot (to prevent blood clots) then (after getting up to use the bathroom and no drainage) I was able to sleep for another 1 1/2 hours when I had to be woken up again to be hooked up to antibiotics and labs. I then tried to go back to sleep but felt that my insides were a little unsettled so I got up to use the bathroom again. And this time I actually had a bowel movement (a lot of diahrrea). And there was very little drainage all night. I was going to go back to sleep again but my insides are feeling quite unsettled so I am sitting up waiting for things to work through my system.

So, definitely some steps in the right direction! I actually have a bit of an appetite right now too so maybe I can talk the doctor into allowing me to try food today.

As far as I know the things that are keeping me here in the hospital are bowel movement (which can be checked off now), I need to be able to tolerate solid foods and then the bacteria in my blood - they need to know that that is under control with the i.v. antibiotics until they can switch me to oral antibiotics and allow me to go home.

Time for another update. (Probably overtime for all of you that have been wondering.)

Well, I am still here at the hospital. :( I ended up having a weird experience Sunday afternoon. Some of the details are kind of gross so if you don't want to read on, feel free to stop reading. (I have put stars farther down the post if you want to pick-up the reading after the gross part.)

I got up to use the restroom around 3:00 in the afternoon and nothing out of the ordinary happened. After I use the bathroom I like to take a walk since I am up already at that point (which is kind of a chore in itself). So I started walking down the hallway and I started feeling something wet between my thighs and then I started feeling some liquid dripping down my legs. My first thought was that maybe I hadn't quite wiped myself good enough after using the bathroom. I quickly turned around to walk quickly back to my room and glanced down at my legs and noticed that the liquid was red. (And I am pushing an I.V. pole at the time.) As I made it to the room I saw an aide in the hallway and asked him to get my nurse because I was bleeding somewhere. I went into the room and stood there by the bed as blood is just streaming down my legs and all over my socks and leg compressors. My nurse took a minute to get there so I went into the bathroom and stood there dripping until she came. She then had me pull down the disposable underwear I have been wearing here and sat on the toilet and blood just shoots out straight from my abdomen - about midway down my incision. It was pretty disgusting looking - like something out of a horror movie! She quickly grabbed a towel and had me hold it on my abdomen with some pressure and she and the aide cleaned up the blood off of the floor. Then they had me go and lay down on the bed - which I was hesitant to do because I didn't want to get all the blood on me onto the bed. They didn't feel comfortable having me stay on the toilet though in case I passed out.

My doctor's group was paged and one of them came and took a look at it. She seems to think that it is just a normal fluid pocket in the body that has mixed with some blood and found an opening to come out of. They decided to just bandage it all up with some gauze and tape and see what happened after that. They nurse and aide then cleaned me up and put new everything onto the bed so I could lay back down on it. It didn't take long to soak through though bandages though and I think we had to change the sheets at least once more that day.

** I am finished with the gross details!

They did finally switch me to a clear liquids diet on Monday which is a good step forward. Unfortunately I have been having a lot of heartburn and everything on the menu is acidic. I ordered a few things from the menu but couldn't drink more than a few sips of them.

Yesterday as they were taking the tape off of the dressing covering my incision, I looked down and noticed some pink looking skin. I reached down and touched it and almost cried because of the pain. I have very sensitive skin and so having to put this tape on and remove it multiple times a day has given me a couple of sore spots that hurt really bad. So we covered it up again and this time only used tape in the non-sore area but even after that and talking to one of the doctors, we decided to try just laying the bandages onto the wound and me just holding it in place with a towel and pillow. It worked most of the time - I think I did leak out onto the bed again but they had covered it in waterproof pads so it was as bad to clean as the last time.

Last night another nurse suggested a different way of holding it place - using the disposable underwear and that is working wonderfully and allowing me to get up and walk around again.

Today I was upgraded to an all liquids diet - which is a little better. I have not had a bowel movement yet which has the doctors concerned and I am still on I.V antibiotics for the bacteria that was found in my blood culture.

Today my abdomen is really swollen from all of the liquids that they are having pumped into me and I am still draining from that one spot on my incision line. It is still draining pretty good which is quite annoying but we are constantly finding better ways to cover it to contain the fluid. They let me take a shower today which felt good - my last one was on Saturday. DH happened to show up while I was in the shower so he was kind enough to help me get the new dressing mess on and situated.

Sorry I haven't been in much of a mood to update lately (and now I have the oxygen sensor on my left index finger). Quite frankly I was hoping to be home by now but I am not. I did really good the first couple of days after surgery and felt really good and things were looking like I might be released as early as Friday.

Then Thursday night into Friday I started taking a turn for the worse and felt really nauseous, heartburn and even threw up several times and didn't feel like eating much at all. They decided there must be something going on with my bowels so they put me on an NPO diet (which basically means I can't eat or drink anything) and they are just giving me I.V. fluids to try and give my bowels and stomach a break. I have had several x-rays of my abdomen area and a lot of lab work done to try and see if there is actually a problem or if my bowels just need a little more recovery time. So far results have been normal except they had one lab come back with a positive for bacteria in my blood which may mean they will need to do a ct scan to figure out if there is a problem.

They tried one afternoon to put a GI tract up my nose and down to my stomach to try and clear out some of the gas there but it hurt so bad just getting it up my nose that I made them take it out. It felt like they were breaking things in my nose to get it up there. They were going to try it again later but I was able to talk the doctors out of it and they said as long as my nausea and vomiting could be kept under control then I could get away with not doing it. And thankfully I haven't thrown up since then.

DH brought the kids except M& to visit me last night. They have been missing me. :( It is sad because I had to miss Kay and MJ's first soccer games. Kay kept trying to hug me but we had to call her off because of my incision right down my middle - she was only allowed to do side hugs. They just stayed for a little bit because quite frankly there is not much to do to entertain them here and I am pretty tired most of the time so I am not much company either. All I want is a nice big cup of ice water! And they won't even allow me to have that! The only thing I can do is swab my lips with water and drink a time sip with some of my medication.

Well, things didn't go as we were hoping yesterday during the surgery... Apparently the tumor is a couple of smaller tumors that are somewhat imbedded into my abdomen and close to a main artery so the surgeon didn't feel comfortable removing any of it. He took a couple of pieces to biopsy and then closed me up. He was going to talk with my medical oncologist about treatment but he is thinking we need to do some chemotherapy and possibly radiation therapy first to try and shrink things and then go back in and remove what is left. Needless to say I am not too happy with that bit of news.

The surgeon is supposed to come in shortly here and talk to me this morning about our next course of action.

I was in quite a bit of pain after they brought me out of the anesthesia and I remember laying there on the table just moaning because of the pain. After a little bit they were able to get the pain under control and took me to my recovery room where DH was waiting for me. He is the one that broke the news to me and I was quite upset to find out what had happened. The only good news is that I don't have to go home with a catheter in...

Okay, the surgeon just came in as I was sitting here typing. He says the best news is that everything is confined to that one specific area and he is hopeful that because of that, we can successfully attack it and have a positive outcome. He said that the tumors were too close to the main artery in the leg and he and the urology surgeon were not optimistic that they could remove it without causing damage to the artery or nerves of the leg.

Anyway, taking things out of order, I had a rough day yesterday and was quite out of it and wasn't much company for DH and then my parents who came by later. I was able to FaceTime with the kids twice yesterday which I think was good for them. Kitty and Luke had their first day of school. Luke said he was already given a lot of homework on his first day! One of our neighbors took MJ and Kay to the open house for their new elementary school where they were able to meet their teachers and find out a few of the kids in their classes. MJ also had her first soccer practice and luckily her friend across the street from us is on the same team so they were able to give her a ride to the practice. She was pretty excited to talk to me about the practice,

I tried eating some salad last night for dinner but ended up mostly just picking at it and didn't feel like eating much of it. I was super tired and kept zoning out in the afternoon & evening yesterday. And then when the family FaceTimed me, I kept zoning out as well... I slept so so last night. I am in control of the pain medication and have to keep pressing the button to get it administered through my I.V. There are so many lights and noises and interruptions during the night that it is hard to get much sleep. They also have devises on my legs that keep inflating and deflating to help prevent blood clots - also, the bed inflates and deflates in places periodically for the same reason (I believe). Sometimes that is pretty noisy and distracting as well.

This morning they took out my catheter just before 6 a.m. I tried going to the bathroom a little bit after that and was able to get a little bit out. That was my first attempt at walking and I felt okay doing it. After that I asked if I could walk out into the hall for a few minutes so I have my first "walk" out of the way.

Alright, I guess I will sign out for right now. I will try updating again later today - and let me point out that it is hard to type with this oxygen sensor on my right index finger!

Surgery day tomorrow. My check-in time for the hospital is 7 a.m. Hopefully once they get started with the surgery, it will only last the 2 hours that they are planning, instead of the 5 hours that the last one took! Nothing to eat or drink after midnight - except I can take my pain medication with a small sip of water if needed.

Earlier today my parents came over to watch the partial solar eclipse with me and the younger 5 kids. It was neat, but not earth shattering! I'm glad I was able to purchase some solar glasses for each of us last week.

Tonight my parents came over again and DH and my dad gave me a priesthood blessing. I am holding together pretty well at the moment but am sad that I won't be here for the kids for their first days of school this week. Hopefully things will go well and smoothly for them and hopefully I will be able to come home Saturday! That is my goal. Well, wish me luck! I'll post an update as soon after my surgery as I am able.

Well, the day has come that I was hoping wouldn't... My cancer has decided to make another showing and I need to have another major surgery...

There is a spot that we have been watching on my scans for probably over a year now that has started to grow and has caused my CA-125 number to jump up again. And the worst part of it is that it is causing extreme back pain for me. I was somewhat secretly hoping that the back pain was the result of a pinched nerve caused by a bulging disc or something in my spine but it turns out that it is being caused by this tumor getting bigger and putting pressure on my ureter on the left side (the tube that connects the kidney to the bladder). The tumor is measuring about 3x4 cm in my latest CT scan.

I met with the surgeon at Huntsman on Wednesday and we talked about the procedure that he would like to do to remove the tumor. I will need to be opened all the way again so that they can get a good look at everything and remove anything else that they see that isn't appearing on the scan. In addition to that, they will most likely have to remove a section of my ureter (they are assuming that it has been compromised because of the tumor) and then reattach the remaining section of the ureter back into the bladder. Because of this they have had to coordinate the surgery with the urology oncologist so he can do that portion of the surgery. I will be in the hospital for 4-6 days and will come home with a catheter in that will stay in for 3 weeks (sounds like fun). The reason for the catheter is so that the bladder doesn't become overfull and compromise the surgery site.

And then after all of the surgery and a couple of weeks for recovery, I will get to do 6 rounds of chemotherapy again. This time around though they will use a different drug that doesn't cause hair loss and neuropathy - so that is a plus. The chemotherapy will be separated by 4 weeks instead of 3 like last time - so a little more time for recovery between the rounds. I'm also hopeful that they can do my chemo sessions at the South Jordan clinic which is about 5 minutes from my house, instead of the downtown clinic which is about 45 minutes away.

Overall I think I am okay with everything. More than anything I want to be free of this back pain that I have been suffering from. I have been trying everything I could think of to try and relieve the pain - exercising, stretching, heating pad, pain medications - and nothing has really helped. And it turns out that it is all being caused by my kidney! I can usually stand the pain during the day but it gets progressively worse as the day goes on and by the end of the day I am usually having a hard time managing the pain - and nights are the worst! I have not been sleeping well at all for the last couple of weeks - I just can't seem to get comfortable. My medical oncologist gave me a prescription for hydrocodone which I have been taking at night and it has helped a lot. I have finally been able to sleep some.

I just found out today that they were able to schedule my surgery for Tuesday, August 22nd. (They were shooting for the 22nd or 29th.) I am glad that they were able to schedule the earlier date except for the fact that it is the first day of school for my 11th and 7th graders. The other 3 kids start the next day so I will miss the first day of school for sure for them. I will not find out my surgery time until the day before the surgery.

I will fill in more details as I find them out.