Today I spent a little bit of time and started taking down Christmas decorations. I imagine it is going to be a long, drawn-out process this year since I will need DH's help to move the tree and the storage boxes this year. I also spent some time putting away laundry and helping to clean the little girls' room.

In the afternoon DH and I and some of the kids again went to run some more errands. I think we are done with our Christmas exchanges now (well, almost).

We have food coming out of our ears!! We still have a lot of leftovers from the meals that were brought to us this week and then another neighbor brought by a big crockpot of soup with some rice yesterday as well as a ham for us. Right now our refrigerator and freezer are both full to the brim! I think I will ask my parents if we can store some of our freezer food over at their house until we need it because we are completely out of room - and my parents have an extra freezer in their garage.

The three middle girls went to a neighbor's house this morning while the rest of us did some more shopping. We are trying to get some of the Christmas gifts exchanged that weren't quite right. It's kind of fun going around with only a few of the kids with us.

Luke helped me do laundry this afternoon. Then I taught him how to play a few card games and then he spent the rest of the day teaching the games to his sisters and playing with them. Just before dinner I had the urge to go outside for a walk. We have had unseasonably warm weather this week so I managed to talk all the family into accompanying me. We walked around the whole ward boundaries - it felt good to be out walking. After dinner we watched Kung Fu Panda 2 again. Thankfully the kids all liked it so they were fine watching it again - and this time I stayed awake for the whole thing.

Today before my shower I took off the bag over my drain hole. It didn't drain anything at all yesterday and the hole is closing up. I just put a large bandaid on it to keep my clothes from rubbing it. I have been slowly cutting down on the pain meds and today I am down to just 1 Oxycodone every 4 hours and then the less pain medicine every 6 hours.

I tried sleeping on my side of the bed last night and it wasn't too bad. My back muscles are all so tense that I used the heating pad for a while and I think it helped some. It's getting easier and easier each day to get in and out of the bed. And thankfully I am pretty much over my cold so no more coughing.

Today DH and I and a couple of the kids went to a few stores to run some errands. It felt kind of weird being out and about, but nice to get a little bit of normalcy back. DH is not used to running around to stores so he is learning a lot. I'm not really in a condition to drive on my own yet though so he gets to come with us! I also helped Blondie and Kitty clean and organize their room - it was a mess!

My body itches everywhere, especially around my incision site. My neck also itches quite a bit where my IV was so I am keeping a bandaid on the hole there so that I don't accidentally scratch off the scab.

Last night was a little better again. I was a little late on one of my pain dosages again and got a little nauseous, but it subsided quickly.

I went to the hospital this morning to get my blood drawn for some lab work and then we headed off to the liver surgeon's office (in one of the buildings at the hospital). Unfortunately the outpatient lab at this hospital doesn't access ports so they had to draw blood from my arm. My poor body has some many pokes and scrapes on it it is sad. My appointment with the liver surgeon went really well. She said that the drainage looks really good so she removed my tube. She also looked at my incision and felt around some and everything looks good. It was pretty weird when she pulled the tube out of my stomach. I could feel it coming out - probably 3-4 inches worth of tube. After that it drained for a little bit and it was weird seeing liquid come out of a hole in my stomach. They don't stitch it up at all - just wait for it to heal on its own. She did attach a type of bag to my hole that makes a seal around it so that it will drain into a bag that just hangs there. At the bottom it folds up and velcros shut so that I can drain it and then close it up again. She gave me an extra one and said to use it as long as there is still some drainage coming out. It should seal up on its own and the fluid should just be absorbed and disposed of by my body. She said that my stomach may become a little distorted and if it becomes painful than I may have to go in to have the fluid drained with a needle. It's definitely nice not having that drain on me anymore!

Last night was much better. I set my alarm to wake me up, but ended up waking up before it went off. I did feel nauseous again for some reason, but it went away quidkly. I was also able to get in and out of the bed a little easier. DH still had to help me some though. I feel bad disturbing his sleep though because when he doesn't sleep well, he is not in a good mood the next day. I've had a little more of an appetite today. I ate a normal breakfast and lunch. When dinnertime came around though I came down to eat and the food just did not smell very appetizing to me for some reason. I had to wait until the family was finished eating and then just tried eating something small.

I called in to my surgeon's offices today to make follow-up appointments. I have an appointment to see the liver surgeon tomorrow so this may be my last day with my drain.

I have a bit more energy today and am able to get around a little easier. It's still quite painful to move around too much though, especially when I bend at the waist or try and roll over in bed. The pain medications I am on though are really effective at managing my pain, which I am grateful for.

I think the kids missed me while I was gone because MJ seems much happier than she has been lately. It's just hard not being able to pick her up!

Update

I am at home and doing well. I just haven't been able to update my blog since my last posting. Hopefully in the next day or two...

Wow! Last night was MISERABLE!! Thankfully our bed is the perfect height for me to get in and out of with a minimum of effort, but it HURTS to move at all once I am in the bed, and getting into a comfortable position was incredibly hard. I was finally able to sleep on my side since I am finally unhooked from everything, so that at least was nice. I switched sides of the bed with DH because I needed to be able to sleep on my left side since I still have my drain in. I had to have DH help me get all situated in the bed and even pull up to covers over me. I got up once a little later to use the bathroom and DH had to help me back into bed. Then I woke up a second time, but it was 5 1/2 hours after I had taken my last pain medication and it only lasts about 4 hours! I was in a lot of pain and then I felt really nauseous! I took my pain pills and then the medication I have for nausea. It took a while but I finally felt a little better and was able to hobble back to bed, with DH helping get back in again. We were pretty trashed once morning hit so the kids had to wait a while before they could get to their Christmas/Santa gifts.

I have so many different medications that I am on that I started keeping track of them all in a little notebook so that I don't forget anything or take anything too early/late. I've found that if I don't take my main pain medication on time, I start to feel really nauseous.  I think tonight I will have to set my alarm to wake me up every 4 hours so I don't miss a dose again. Right now I am taking 4 pills of oxycodone every 4 hours. Hopefully soon I can start weaning off of that. I also have another pain medicine that is not quite as strong, but I can mix the two. I also have to take an antibiotic pill once a day and then I have to have an injection of blood thinners once a day (I think DH will be doing those for me). I also have an anti-nausea medication that I can take as needed.

The main side effect I have from the medications is just drowsiness. Some times I just sit down and feel my eyes start to glaze over and I can't keep them open. I am also having a hard time concentrating my eyes on something like my ipad screen - which is why it's taken me a little while to blog.

The hardest thing that I am going to have to deal with over the next 5 weeks is that I am not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds. That means no picking up MJ at all!

My drain is pumping out so much fluid!! Sometimes it fills up within just a 1/2 hour! I also think it is leaking a little where the tube goes into my skin, and the stitch that is holding the tube into place is kind of irritating. I've started wearing a small towel or washcloth under my brace so that it will catch any leaks from my drain. The color is still looking fine on the liquid draining out though so hopefully I can have it removed soon.

We watched Kung Fu Panda 2 tonight as a family and I slept through just about all of it. I tried staying awake for it, but it just wasn't happening. I saw the first few minutes and then woke up at the end for the last few minutes.

Merry Christmas!!

Last night was another miserable night in the hospital. At least they didn't forget my pain medication, but the nurses were working half shifts so there always seemed to be someone new attending to me. I also had my drain filling up like every hour and then they came in around four in the morning to draw some blood and take out my catheter. In the morning I was finally able to shower for the first time! They had to cover up the IV in my neck that was still in and they also had to cover my port that still had an IV connected to it. It felt good to have some hot water finally pouring down over me!

Before the shower DH and I tried talking to each other several times before he left with the kids for a 9 a.m. Sacrament Meeting. I felt a little nauseous with the breakfast that was brought to me and didn't end up eating very much of it. I got a little emotional about everything that was going on and I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it was because DH was doing a good job managing the kids and taking them to church. He even got up early and made them some cinnamon rolls in a can for breakfast and had M&M help with the girls' hair. I think I was also a little emotional because they were so short staffed with their nurses and aides that the aide just showed me where the shower was and left me to myself to manage on my own - even though this was my first time up and showering... I think I was also emotional because I was missing my family - here it was Christmas morning and I wasn't home to be with my family.

The physical therapist came by again and wanted to walk with me but I reminded her that we hadn't done stairs yet so she said she would come back after my shower and we would go do some stairs. After my shower we walked over to the stairwell and the therapist had me walk up a flight and then back down. It wasn't too difficult for me so the therapist thought i would do just fine at home.

After lunch my surgeon's assistant came by and said everything looked good for me to go home whenever I was ready!! How exciting!! They just needed to take the IV out of my neck and then they needed to go over all of my checkout instructions, which included how to empty and take care of my drain. They took all of the tape off of my incision site and it was really stuck on there good! It took quite a while to remove it and then it was all red and covered in sore spots from the tape. The nurse came in to remove my neck IV and she had to remove it and then hold pressure on it for the next ten minutes. Then I had to lay there in the bed for an hour so the hole would close up. It ws a pretty good size IV.

When I called DH to let him know I was going to be released that afternoon, we debated not telling my parents and just showing up there at their house. Unfortunately my parents called me before we came to a decision so I told them that i had been released so we discussed what to do for Christmas dinner. We decided that my parents would bring the dinner over to my house and cook it there and then my sister's family would also come over and we would all eat at my house.

DH came around 3:00 to pick me up. I got dressed into clothes for the first time since Wednesday and then it took us a while to pack up all of my things. DH also had to run down to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. When we were finally ready, the nurse got a wheelchair for me and we left the hospital! This was also my first time outside since Wednesday. The whole thing felt surreal and like I wasn't quite ready for this yet! The car ride home was uneventful and by the time we got there my parents were already there starting on the dinner. We pulled up into the driveway and DH and the kids had put a welcome home sign on the garage door. DH had printed it out before he left and the kids colored it and wrote some cute personal messages on it while he was at the hospital picking me up! It was very sweet!

As soon as we pulled in the driveway, Kitty and MJ came out the front door to greet me. Kitty ran straight to me and wanted me to pick her up. Unfortunately I can't pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds for the next 4-6 weeks while we wait for my body to heal. DH juggled the things around in his arms so he could pick her up and she just threw a screaming fit because she didn't want dad to pick her up, she wanted me to. We came inside and he set her down on the couch beside me, but she wasn't quite content with that...

Up to this point my kids haven't opened any Christmas presents and it took us a few minutes to decide how we wanted to do it now. We finally decided that we would let them open the gifts from my parents and their Christmas pajamas from me and DH after dinner and then we would do the Santa gifts and other family gifts Monday morning. DH just likes the idea of the kids sleeping and waking up to their Christmas gifts in the morning.

Christmas Eve!  It's seems weird being here over a major holiday weekend.  Last night was really, really rough.  I tried going to sleep a little earlier but just couldn't get comfortable.  My back just kept hurting worse and worse and I was contemplating pushing my pain button even though I hadn't needed to push it all day long.  I finally was able to get to the pain button and I pushed it and didn't hear anything happen - usually there is a noise associated with it that tells me the pump has kicked into action.  I looked over at the machine and the bag for the pain medicine looked like it was still completely full.  I quickly pushed the button for the nurse.  When the nurse came in he asked what was going on and I told him that I didn't think that my pain bag had been turned on.  He went over and looked at it and said, "Yeah, you're right.  This isn't even on." What looks like happened is that the previous nurse had changed my bag just before her shift was over and then never turned it back on.  We figured it was off for about 2 hours!  I was in such excruciating pain that I was in tears, crying.  The nurse offered me some other drugs that can be given to me at the same time as my main medication and I told him to just give me everything that he could!  Especially since I was told that the main medication can take up to 20 minutes to take effect.  It took me a little while to get my pain back under control and then it took even longer to actually be able to relax and get some sleep.

This morning I got up and took a little bit of a sponge bath while sitting in the bathroom.  I am not allowed to shower until my epidural is removed.  This was the first time I had really seen myself in a mirror since my surgery.  I actually didn't look as bad as I thought I would.  It felt really good to be able to clean up a little.  After I finished up in the bathroom a nurse from physical therapy came by to take me walking.  We walked a couple of laps and she said that I was doing really good and that the best thing I can do for myself at this point is walk as much as I can.  So I set a goal to walk a mile today - that's about 10 laps around my floor.  I did two laps with the physical therapist and then went and sat on the couch and ate my breakfast.

After breakfast I decided to go walking some more.  This time I did about 4  laps and then noticed that my legs in-between my thighs was really hurting - there was something rubbing there between them.  I discovered that it was a clip holding my catheter tube to my leg.  When I hobbled back to my room to check out the damage I found that I had cuts on the inside of both of my legs from where this had been rubbing.  I got ahold of my nurses' aide and she helped move the clip to the front part of my thigh and then put some bandages on the insides of my legs.  Then I went out and finished up my last half lap and added one more for good measure.  It felt much better having that clip moved.  On my way past my room one time I heard my cell phone ringing in the room so I stopped to answer it.  It was DH who had apparently been trying to call for quite a while.  I took the phone with me and talked while I did another lap around the floor.  I had called him last night about the pain medicine incident right after it happened so he already knew about that, but there was other info to fill him in on.  He mentioned that our relief society president wanted to come visit me at the hospital and had offered to bring M&M with her.  Then he could come later with the rest of the kids to see me and then take her home with them.  I thought that that sounded like a good idea.

There has been quite a bit of drainage from my drain and I asked the liver surgeon's assistant about it when she came in to see me this morning.  She said that the color on the drainage was really good and that I shouldn't be concerned at the amount at this point.

So the relief society president and M&M came over shortly after lunch.  She brought a basket of flowers and stayed to visit for a little bit and then left M&M with me.  I had M&M take me on a walk for those last couple of laps that I needed to finish up my mile.  We ended up doing just two laps and I did them pretty slowly and then I started to not feel so good so we headed back to my room.  After getting situated on the couch I noticed that one of my brothers had tried to facetime me earlier in the day while I was out, so I tried returning his call.  While I was talking to him the physical therapist tried coming in to take me to the stairs to practice doing some stairs when I all of a sudden felt nauseous like I was going to throw up.  I quickly ended my call with my brother and the physical therapist called the nurse for me.  I dry heaved a few times but nothing came up.  The nurse brought me some anti-nausea medicine and M&M brought me a wet washcloth to put on my forehead and then I started to feel better.

My surgeon's assistant finally talked to the nurses about getting my epidural and catheter out and switching me over to solid foods.  Hopefully something will happen with that before the day ends.

It was nice being able to sit and chat with M&M for the time that she spent there.  I'm just sorry she had to see me get sick liike that.  My parents stopped by for a few minutes again and then right after I was served dinner, DH brought the kids by to visit again.  (I had to fight for the dinner again because they tried to bring me a liquid diet again and they had to check with the nurse to find out if I could have solid foods.)  Unfortunately MJ and Kay were a little more wired and free feeling this time and preferred to be running around the place causing problems.  I finally had M&M take MJ down to the end of the hall where there are some clusters of chairs for families and some large windows to see if she could keep her quiet.  Kay thought it was fun to run up and down the hallways and we tried to stop her from doing that and disturbing the other patients on the floor.  Finally after DH and I were able to talk a little I tried getting MJ over to me to give me a hug and say goodbye, but she wasn't interested.  Then I offered her some of the food off of my dinner tray and she perked right up.  It turns out that she was starving and she absolutely loved the pudding that I offered her!  In fact the only way they were able to bribe her to leave without screaming was to take the pudding container with them with a plastic spoon to feed her with.

Just before DH showed up the nurse came in to give me some oral pain meds and then a little while later she capped off my epidural.  She had also contacted the anesthesiologist to see if he could stop by later this evening or in the morning to take out my epidural.  Luckily he was able to come by before he went off shift that night and it was a pretty quick procedure having that pulled out.  It felt good to finally be able to scratch my back without the fear of upsetting the placement of the epidural.  The nurse also offered to take out my catheter, but I am a little hesitant because that means that I will have to get up out of bed more to use the bathroom and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that!

Before I settled down for the night I took one more walk.  I got in a total of 1.5 miles before I finished for the day.  It felt good to be up and about walking around!

I think I actually got a little bit of sleep last night. It's so hard trying to find a comfortable position and it just hurts to move at all if it involves my stomach muscles. I forgot to mention in my last post that when I am laying in bed they have these things that I wear on my calves that blow up like a balloon every 30 seconds or so. It alternates and blows up one leg at a time. It is supposed to help keep the blood flowing through my legs and hopefully prevent any blood clots from forming.

I took a little bit of nausea medicine last night and today. I haven't felt really nauseous, I just want to prevent it from getting any worse. My swelling has gone down some today and I can actually open my eyes all the way. The nurse took some tape off of my left wrist last night from where I had an I.V. or something during the surgery and it is all blue and bruised underneath. This morning the nurse heard me coughing some because of my cold and offered to attach a humidifier to my breathing tube so I could breathe a little easier.

I've been a little frustrated with some lack of communication that appears to be going on between the different people that are taking care of me. My main surgeon's assistant came in and took a look at me today and said that everything was looking really good and that since I was feeling fine I should be able to move up to solids today and have anything I wanted to eat. She also said that I should be able to have my catheter taken out because the epidural was up high enough that it shouldn't be interfering with my bladder function. Less than an hour later I had lunch brought into me and it said on the food order on the tray that it was a clear liquid only diet again! I was not too happy when I saw that and I mentioned to the person that brought it in that I had just been told that I could move up to a solid food diet. She said she would check with my nurse and then she came back and said that I could move up to a full liquid diet - which means some thicker solids like tomato or chowder soups and pudding. So a little bit better than what I was initially given, but still not terribly appetizing!

The surgeon's assistant also asked me when I was thinking I would like to go home and I said that it would be nice to be home for Christmas Day, but I also didn't want to rush anything and was okay staying there if I wasn't quite ready. She said that we would have to see and that it depended on a whole chain of events taking place. (Switch to oral pain meds, cap off the epidural, make sure the oral pain meds were enough, remove the epidural, remove the catheter, transition to solids, remove the IV from my neck.)

Around lunchtime my mom went over to watch MJ and Kay so DH could come spend a few hours with me. I feel like I'm not very exciting company at this point though because I'm still very tired and can't move around much at all.

I was able to get up several times today and I even made a lap around the whole floor once. There are some nice big windows at the end of the hallways and it was a nice view looking out of some of them (my room is on the 10th floor).

DH left before dinnertime so he could eat with the family and then bring the kids back to see me for the first time since my surgery. My sister also stopped by with her family and they brought me a cute little Christmas tree with some homemade popcorn garland and ornaments on it. Everyone that came in after that commented on my cute Christmas tree. That afternoon before my sister got there they decided to give me two more units of blood because my counts were still low.

After dinner my kids came to visit me! DH was holding MJ and at first she didn't see me, but once she did her face completely lit up! She started saying, "Mommy, Mommy!" I had decided to be seated on the couch when the kids came by instead of the bed so that they could sit next to me and hug me a little better. DH came over to me and set MJ down on the couch next to me and she was content to just sit there snuggled up by my side. Amazingly she didn't try crawling all over me and pulling or poking at everything I was hooked up to. Kay was also very excited and she was very interested in what everything was that I was hooked up to and what all of my owies were. Then once she was finished asking me questions she decided to explore around the room trying and get into everything that she shouldn't be doing. My parents came just right after my family and they enjoyed watching how happy MJ was just sitting there with me. The family wasn't able to stay too long because of MJ and Kay being pills, but it was good seeing them all and letting them see me so they could see that I was okay. It was also nice being able to talk to the older kids and ask them about their last few days of school. We discussed if the family would come by on Saturday and visit me and discussed possibly having M&M come over and spend a few hours with me by herself. We'll have to see if we can work something out so that can happen.

They tried having me get up a little yesterday evening. I got up and got my legs hanging off the side of the bed and then I felt really nauseous and had to lay back down again. I slept horribly last night. Someone came in at least once every hour to do something to me and there were so many noises going on - toilets flushing, doors closing, machines beeping. I also couldn't find a comfortable position for my back and neck... One nurse came in a around 4 in the morning and said "good morning" and turned the overhead light on! He had come in to draw some blood for lab work and I asked if he could just use my port so he checked with my nurse and found out that they could, so he left the stuff to have her do it.

Both surgeons came in to on check on me in the morning and they both said that things went really well during the surgey and that I was looking really good. I asked my main surgeon if they could take out the IV line going into my neck but she said not yet in case they need to give me more blood. Iwas able to get up in the morning and transfer to a chair to sit in for a while. It felt good to be in a different position. I then had all different sorts of therapists come in and talk to me about different things. One of them was a respiratory therapist who brought a small breathing machine that he taught me to use to help strengthen my lungs after the surgery. He had me do it a few times and then said I needed to try and do it 10 times an hour while I am awake. Then he said he wanted me to cough as hard as I could. I didn't want to because I knew it would kill me. I finally did though and since I still have a bit of a cold, it was a loud, horrible sounding cough that made me have to cough a few more times. He said that that was good because it would help prevent pneumonia in my lungs.

The nurses in the morning asked if I wanted to clean up a little in the bathroom today, but I didn't feel like I was up for it yet. They did bring stuff to me so I could brush my teeth though.

For lunch I was able to eat chicken broth, jello and some Italian shaved ice. I then got up and walked a little down the hallway. The physical therapist walked with me and she helped me put my shoes on to walk in. Apparently my feet are pretty swollen because she had to loosen up the laces a ton before they would fit on. I was pretty tired again most of the day, but the swelling has gone down some. My parents stopped by with some flowers in the morning and then DH spent a good chunk of the rest of the day with me. One of my neighbors stopped by and chatted with us for a while which was really nice. Dinner was some beef broth with jello and more shaved ice. The beef broth tasted totally salty so I complained and they brought me some more chicken broth instead.

We had thought about bringing the kids by to see me but decided to wait until Friday. Instead he left a little earlier so the kids could talk to me and see me through Skype. I think that MJ especially is having a hard time with me being gone.

The hardest and most painful part for me is just getting up and down because of the stomach muscles that are used. I still have the epidural in for my pain meds and because of that I have a catheter in my bladder and an oxygen tube in my nose. I also have to keep a blood oxygen sensor on the pointer finger of my left hand (which makes it difficult to type).

Well, I made it through the surgery and both surgeons were very pleased with how things went. I had to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. to get registered and do some pre-op things. Then there was some confusion when they discovered that I had a port (even though I told them that when the hospital called with some pre-registration questions on Monday). So they had to wheel me all the way across the hospital complex a few buildings over to get my port accessed and then they had to wheel me all the way back. Apparently that made some people a little irritated because it put them behind schedule.

When I finally got to the operating room, I met the liver surgeon and then they took me in the room to get an epidural started to manage the pain. After that they laid me down on the bed and I don't remember anything after that until they were trying to wake me up and told me that the surgery was over.

They started with the liver part of the surgery and apparently there were two small spots there. It had looked like just one on the CT scans. The liver transplant surgeon was able to successfully remove both of those spots with a clear margin around both. They said that it looked like the tumors started on the surface of the liver so they most likely had migrated over from the original ovarian tumor instead of entering the liver through the bloodstream. That was some really good news because it means that the cancer might not be as widespread as originally thought. That part of the surgery took about 1 1/2 hours. The total surgery was about 5 hours. The main surgeon then took over and she said she was really pleased with how the surgery went and how well the chemotherapy had shrunk everything. They did a hysterectomy and removed my omentum as well as some small spots here and there that they found. They also took biopsies of most of my organs. They had to remove a portion of my diaphram, a tiny spot or two on the bladder and then a small, second appendix that I had for some reason.

When they brought me out of sedation I felt really nauseous and sick and I ended up throwing up a couple of times. They quickly gave me some anti-nausea medicine to counteract that. I was in the post-surgery recovery room for an hour or two until I was stable. They gave me two units of blood while I was there. I was really dry in the mouth and finally was able to get them to bring me some ice chips. I couldn't get enough of those. It also took me a while to finally get them to bring in a pillow to put under my knees. My back was killing me!

Then I was taken up to my room where DH was already waiting for me. Man did I feel out of it. I ended up just laying there trying to sleep. I heard DH call a few people on the phone. I had a really hard time finding a comfortable position for my back, neck and belly and it really hurt to try and change positions. I was pretty swollen after the surgery and had a hard time opening my eyes all the way. I have tubes and wires poking out everywhere. The worst one is an I.V. that sticks straight out from my neck. It is a large I.V. so they can give me things like blood through it. It looks pretty gruesome though.

DH ended up leaving around 8:00 to go home and take care of the kids for the night - my parents had been watching them all day.

Trying to finish up some last minute things today. I found out this afternoon that I have to report to the hospital at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow! I'll tell you, it is hard to not eat anything when you are spending your whole day feeding kids and being around food! It's been hard for me to remember to not pop something in my mouth here and there! I started on the Miralax about an hour ago and I can already feel it making its way through my system! My bathroom and I will be good friends by the end of the day!

MJ and I both stayed home from church yesterday. With my cold and surgery coming up, I don't want to catch anything else before my surgery! I used the time at home to finish up most of the Christmas wrapping. Just a few things left. This morning I did the last of my grocery shopping. I've been doing a lot of baking the last couple of days - trying out a few new cookie recipes. I think I will freeze some of them so we can eat them after my surgery. DH and the kids minus MJ went to a Bishopric family party this evening. I think they all had a good time. They had a White Elephant Exchange and I think the kids all liked the gift they came home with. I am not looking forward to tomorrow! After midnight tonight I will be on a clear liquids only diet. Basically the only thing I can eat are jello and popsicles. Other than that I can only drink liquids that are clear - such as fruit juices, sports drink, sodas, water, and a few other things. I'm a little concerned because since I started my chemo treatments, I tend to get nauseous when my stomach is empty. The other thing I have to do tomorrow is take some laxative tablets and then a whole 14 day bottle of Miralax to clean out my bowels before surgery on Wednesday! The bathroom and I will be close friends by the end of the day tomorrow...

Well, I finally did it - shaved my head! The last day or two I haven't liked how my hats were looking with the little bit of wispy hair that I had left so I cut it. I cut the long hairs with the scissors and then I had DH help me shave as close to the scalp as we could with our hair clippers. I still have a little bit of hair which makes it feel prickly, but I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to use a razor on my scalp yet. We all think it looks much better - although the kids were a bit surprised when I came downstairs with no hair.

Some good news - my jaw/tooth feels perfectly fine now. Thankfully whatever was bothering it is gone and hopefully will stay gone.

More good news - I finished the last of my Christmas shopping today! I also spent a good chunk of my morning yesterday wrapping presents and I am probably more than 50% done.

Some bad news - I came down with a cold and cough which is keeping me and my husband up at night! Hopefully I will get over it quickly...

DH and I went to Luke's class play this morning and then to meet with the surgeon this afternoon. She spent quite a bit of time talking to us about my upcoming surgery and answered any questions we had. She also did an exam on me and is very pleased with how mobile everything feels and how everything has shrunk considerably. She is very confident that the surgery will be successful and that they will be able to remove all the cancer that is visible and give me a good chance of a successful recovery. Her only concern is the tumor (or lesion) on my liver. It is in just about the worst spot it could be as far as being able to get to it. It is on the backside of the liver in the upper right corner. The tumor there has shrunk to more than half of its original size and she is confident that if they can get to it it will be fairly easy to resect that portion of it. They have been in contact with a liver transplant specialist and are trying to arrange it so that she can be there on hand to help my surgeon with the liver part of the surgery to ensure that we have a successful outcome there.

The not so good news is that this is going to be a huge vertical incision - from the top of the pubic bone all the way up to my sternum! The way she was talking it sounds like the absolute earliest she would think I might be home afterwards would be Christmas day. Everything will depend on how quickly I am able to get up and moving after the surgery and that I am able to manage the pain enough that I can manage at home with prescription medications. She emphasized that each person is different and it is very individual on how quickly one is able to recover from a surgery this major. The surgery itself will probably take about 3-4 hours! I will be first on the schedule which probably means we will have to be at the hospital around 6:00 in the morning again - I will find out next Tuesday when I call in to get my instructions. I also get to eat (drink) a clear liquid only diet the day before the surgery to make sure that my bowels are all cleared out and take a bottle of Miralax and some capsules of Dulcolax (both laxatives). Fun, fun, fun!

Oh, my tooth/jaw if feeling somewhat better today. I didn't mention in my last post that one of the reasons I am concerned about the pain is that it is in the spot where I have my implant and where I had my oral surgery (apicoectomy) several years ago, so it has been a problem spot in the past.

My goal right now is to get everything for Christmas taken care of before the 21st - including all the wrapping so that it will just be a matter of setting everything out once I get home from the hospital. Right now I am almost done with all of the shopping - just a few sibling gifts that I need to take the kids with me to help pick out.

Mailed off my Christmas packages this morning! That felt good! This is by far the earliest I have ever done that! There were just two people in line at the Post Office when I got there.

This afternoon I had to drive the Jordan Youth Symphony carpool for M&M and 4 other kids from her school. I drive them every other week. Today I wore my wig and a couple of the girls commented on my new hairdo. One of the girls asked if I got my haircut. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that so I said that it was a new hairstyle. Then on the way home two of the kids (siblings that live a couple of doors away from us) were asking M&M about my new hairstyle. She said she was trying to explain to them so that they could figure it out for themselves, but they didn't quite get what she was saying until she came out and told them that it was a wig! She got a good laugh out of that! She said she was trying to explain that I was going through chemo for my cancer treatment and that hair usually falls out... Then I got my hair cut, but my hair has still been falling out... It was funny to hear the story afterwards. Emily's first comment when she walked in the door from being dropped off was, "Well Mom, your wig works!"

I've been battling a sore tooth/jaw that started hurting on Saturday. I hope it is not something serious that I am going to have to go into the dentist for. Hopefully it is just a slight irritation or infection that has been made worse by my low blood counts. I am monitoring my temperature and then trying to take better care in my brushing and flossing and mouth rinse. I'm also trying an essential oil called Clove on the area. If it starts feeling worse over the next day or two I should probably go in to see the dentist... Other than that and a headache that comes and goes, I feel fine.

As a side note - I have been participating in another clinical trial where I call into a phone helpline each day to answer questions with an automated system on the side effects of my chemo treatments. Sometimes there are some helpful tips that they give during the call to help deal with the effects of the chemo. Usually around this time in the calls they start advising you to not floss your teeth for about a week to minimize the chances of getting a cut in your mouth that will then get infected by bacteria from food or other causes. I just think that's an interesting piece of advice - to not floss your teeth because it could cause an infection instead of it helping to clean out the bacteria. I think with this recent mouth problem it has been me notflossing my teeth that has caused the problem...

This morning MJ and I just went to Sacrament Meeting again. Unfortunately MJ was in a bad mood this morning and DH ended up walking home with her at the end of Sacrament Meeting because she was out of control. The kids and I searched around for them after church and then concluded that they must have gone home already. We facetimed with DH's mom this evening. It's been a while since we've talked with her. We stayed up way too late though!

This morning was our ward Christmas party. It was a ward breakfast/activity this year. DH took all the older kids and I stayed home with MJ.

This evening DH and I went to the Sounds of the Season concert. I wore my wig out in public again (actually I have several times this week - just nowhere where I would run into someone that knows me). When DH and I got to the high school, there standing right at the doors to the auditorium was our bishop and the husband of another person from our ward (both of their wives are in the choir). I felt totally embarrassed and not ready to run into people that I know! We shook hands with them and then I quickly ducked into the auditorium to find a seat before the concert started. Then towards the end of the program I noticed a family from our ward sitting a few rows behind us in our section. We ended up talking to them afterwards for a few minutes and then we quickly left the building. I really would have liked to have gone up and said "hi" to everyone in the orchestra & choir that I know, but I am trying to limit the amount of face-to-face contact that I have with people right now. I am at the beginning of the low-point of my white and red blood cell counts and would like to avoid as many germs as possible. My parents who sing in the choir ended up coming to our house afterwards to visit for a few minutes and to say "hi" to the kids.

Apparently the nurse-practitioner from my oncologist's office called yesterday and left a message which I didn't notice until today. She said that the CT scans looked really good and that the tumors have shrunk quite a bit which is very encouraging. That means that the chemo is working and my body is responding very well to it.

Yesterday I wore my wig out in public for the first time. I've been wearing it around the house a little to get used to it and to try and style it more the way I want. Then yesterday I had to go to BestBuy to pick up something and then run a few other errands, so I decided to try out my wig. When I got to the store and got out of the car to go around and get the kids out, I saw someone from my neighborhood who had also just gotten out of their car and was walking towards the store. I saw her and looked straight at her to say "hi" to her, but she didn't even look at me or acknowledge me at all. I just started chuckling to myself because I think the wig is a very different look for me and this lady did not recognize me at all!

My CT scan was scheduled for later that afternoon so I found someone that could watch the two little ones for me for about 30 minutes until M&M got home from school. MJ was quite sad when I left her. Hopefully one of these days she won't cry when I have to leave her at someone's house... I had to get my blood drawn first for my lab work and then they left my port accessed as we went to another part of the building for my CT scan. I had to drink the Barium drink again and I had a hard time getting it down this time. Nasty flavor and aftertaste... I had the mixed berry flavor again, but it just tasted gross this time around. It was a pretty quick procedure - I think I was away from DH for less than 10 minutes. Afterwards we were supposed to go over to the U of U Hospital Imaging department to pick up a copy of the CT scan to take to my surgeon's office. First I had to go back downstairs to have my port de-accessed and then it took us several minutes to get over to the University Hospital and apparently the imaging office closes at 5:00 which is when we got there and there was no one around to help us. Luckily my surgeon was just able to have her office call over there to get a copy of the scan couriered to their office before my appointment the following Tuesday. We had dinner brought over to us that evening again which helped a lot since we didn't get home until around 6:00 again.

Okay, I need the rumor mill to please stop... I've had several people approach me now saying that they have heard that I have been having a bad week and that is not true. So, please know that I am not having a bad week, in fact today I feel perfectly fine and I would appreciate it if the rumors about my condition would stop. I'm not sure who is passing on this rumor, but if it was from reading this blog then you have read more into it than I have written there.

Also please know that my family is very capable of handling most things on our own and that my kids are old enough to help out around the house and with each other. If I need help, I will ask for it! Even though I don't ask for help a lot, I do know my limits and will ask for it when it is needed! Thank you!

Side effects so far from chemo treatment #3:

- Super tired - Since Saturday I have just wanted to lay around not doing too much of anything. My sleep has been good some nights and poor other nights. Saturday morning I went to the two baptisms for our ward and played some prelude & interlude music for it. It's been a while since I've played like that. That night I didn't sleep too well with Kay waking up partway through the night and then her waking up MJ when I tried to take her back to bed. My husband is also battling some head congestion so his sleep has been a little more noisy than usual - keeping me up in the middle of the night. I ended up sending the family to church without me and then I joined them for Sacrament Meeting.

- Lack of taste - Quite a few foods just have no taste to me the first week or so after my chemo. Two of the foods that have the most altered taste that I have noticed are yogurt and chocolate. Yogurt just tastes nasty to me and chocolate has hardly any taste at all. On Sunday I made a potato/cheese soup for dinner that the whole family loves and I sat down and ate a bite and could hardly taste anything - it was very disappointing!

- Tingling - The tingling in my fingers and feet hasn't seemed to be as bad so far this time around. I am crossing my fingers that it will not get any worse.

- Headache - My head has been absolutely pounding these last couple of days. It makes it hard to think clearly and I find myself super short-tempered all day long - especially with the kids.


Yesterday I put my wig on after my shower in the morning and came down to show Kay and MJ. Kay immediately saw me and said, "Whoa! I like that on you." MJ just sat there staring at me for the longest time trying to figure out what was going on! I think the wig looks fine. It is just a very different look for me - not my usual style so it will take a little bit of getting used to. I figure that I need to start feeling comfortable wearing it around the house or I will never feel comfortable enough to wear it outside of the house. I think I want to take a little bit of time to try styling it a little more to my liking, but so far I haven't had the energy to do that.

Sickness is abounding in our household! DH, MJ, M&M and Blondie all have coughs/colds and I think we have had some type of stomach virus going around the house as well. DH was up for a good chunk of the night last night with some stomach problems and MJ and Kay have had a little bit of something too - luckily no throwing up... My bowels have not been completely happy either, but I'm not sure if it is the same thing or side-effects from my chemo. MJ has been super whiny today and I hope that she starts to feel better soon! I don't have a lot of energy right now to deal with sick kids...

I actually felt pretty good most of the day today. I got up and took the kids to Parents & Pastries before school and then spent the day changing bed sheets and doing laundry - a never ending job in a family of 8! I did crash for a little while in the afternoon, but other than that really no problems so far after my third chemo treatment.

Chemo treatment #3 today. I had an appointment for lab work and to meet with the Dr. beforehand, and it was super busy and it took forever to get through the appointment. Because of that my chemo appointment started really late and it felt like we were there forever! Luckily we didn't have much traffic on the ride home, but we didn't get back until about 6:45 that evening (and we left around 9:15 in the morning)... My parents were able to tag team it during the day so someone was always here with the kids.

The only reaction I had once again was to the Benadryl - within just a few minutes of it entering my bloodstream I can feel it go straight to my head and make me a little woozy and super tired. It's definitely a weird feeling!

The nurse practitioner couldn't feel anything of my tumor and they are confident with the upcoming surgery that the surgeon will be successful in getting the bulk of the cancer out of me. They are also hopeful that the nerve damage in my fingers and feet will have some time to repair itself between this third chemo treatment and when I start up again after the surgery - probably 5-6 weeks after.

My main goal now is to get everything bought and ready for Christmas before my surgery on the 21st! Wish me luck!

Sorry it's been over a week since I last posted here! There hasn't really been a lot to post about. If it wasn't for my hair loss and a little bit of tingling in my finger and being a bit more tired than usual, I wouldn't even know that I was sick... Overall I feel pretty fine and normal and it's hard to believe that I really have cancer.

Last week was pretty eventful with the Thanksgiving holiday. Two of my brothers and their families came from out of town to visit. I picked up my younger brother and his family from the airport Tuesday evening and fed them dinner at my house before taking them over to my parents' house. We all met up for dinner at my parents' house on Thanksgiving day. Then on Friday some of us went to the dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point and then we all met up for dinner again that evening. M&M and I made a bunch of treats to take over with us for dessert. On Saturday my family spent the day cleaning and putting up our Christmas tree and decorations. Really the only thing left to do is put the lights up on the outside of the house.

I went to all of church on Sunday. People ask me all the time how I am doing and the only way I know to respond is that I am feeling fine. That seems kind of weird considering the fact that I have cancer, but really I just feel fine. I had a primary meeting after church and then later on in the afternoon we went over to my parents' house for dinner again.

I got a call from nurse Stephanie this afternoon informing me that my blood counts were pretty low last time. She said to give them a call if I get a fever and to wash my hands often and stay away from sick people. I got off the phone and thought, "Yeah, but that was almost a week ago already." Hopefully my numbers will be fine for Wednesday so that we don't have to postpone my next chemo treatment.

I still have a little fringe of hair so I just wear hats everywhere. DH would like to shave it because he doesn't like how it looks without a hat, but I think it makes the hats look more normal. My guess is that after my next chemo treatment the rest of it will fall out.

Yesterday I spent the day doing some cleaning/organizing and getting the laundry put away. I took a couple of the kids to the library and then a quick stop at the grocery store. I had a hankering for some pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting so M&M and I made the bars yesterday and then frosted them today. Delicious!!

I didn't sleep great last night for some reason. I wish I could just get a decent night's sleep and not keep waking up 2 or 3 times a night... I had a scout meeting before church this morning and then ended up going to the whole 3 hour block of church - even though I wasn't planning on doing so at first. Right now my immune system is supposed to be at its lowest point so I need to be really careful around people. They say around day 8-14 from my chemo treatment is when my white blood cell count will typically be at its lowest. It's been hard though because that is around the time when I really start feeling better and have more energy and yet I'm supposed to avoid crowds and people that are sick (which is going to be hard as we go into winter/sick season here). I've been battling a headache all day. I'm not sure if it is from the chemo or from not having slept well last night.

I just have a very thin fringe of hair at this point. I still look okay with a hat, but it is looking very thin and wispy. I have a few comb-over type strands on the top of my head and then a little bit on the sides. My kids think it looks like an old man. Unfortunately my scalp is very sensitive with pimple-like bumps on a good portion of it - not very comfortable at all - and it itches...

I'm still having problems regulating my body temperature. It most likely has something to do with the hormone shot to shut down my ovaries - it's supposed to be like going through menopause. My hands and feet are particularly sensitive, and it doesn't help that the tips of my fingers are tingly. It feels like I have poor circulation in them.

I still have a little bit of hair and I'm surprised that I look as normal as I do with a hat on - without it is a different story. My kids are always curious to see how I am looking so I took my hat off for them the other day and showed them and just about all of them responded with, "Ewww, gross!" Nice feeling... I think my husband is dying to shave my head so maybe we will do it this weekend. I'm having a hard time letting go of the last of it though especially since it looks fine with my hats. My scalp is still super sensitive and itchy.

I finally found a hat to sleep in at night! A friend from the ward stopped by on Thursday and dropped off a hat that she had bought for me at Huntsman and it is perfect for me for sleeping in. It is a soft knit that comes down a little lower and has some elastic in the back so it fits a little better and doesn't fall off of me when I turn over in bed.

Today I made dinner for the first time since my last chemo treatment. We have had so many kind, generous people that have wanted to bring meals since my last treatment that we have had tons of food. I think the kids miss some of our regular meals so I since I was feeling fine I decided to make one of our family meals that we haven't had in a while. I had great responses from the kids when they saw it too!

Well, I threw up last night for the first time since starting chemo. It was weird because I woke up around 3 in the morning and felt just fine. I used the bathroom and then went downstairs to get something to eat (I have been feeling a little nauseous lately if my stomach is empty). After I came back up to bed I was laying there and the furnace was on and I started feeling really hot and sick, but I didn't want to get up. Finally I decided I better hurry to the bathroom. I took one of my anti-nausea pills and after doing some business for a minute started feeling like I was going to throw up. Luckily I remembered that I had a cleaning bucket under the sink and managed to grab it in time to throw up in it... I felt much better after a few minutes and was able to go back to bed feeling fine.

DH stayed home from work today to get some yard work done. He was hoping to do it on the weekend, but for the second weekend in a row we are supposed to get a cold front with snow coming through and the work needs to be done before winter sets in. My dad came over and worked with DH while my mom and I and the girls went to Huntsman for my blood work. It was supposed to be just a quick blood draw again and then a quick injection so we thought the girls might have fun with the diversion. Well, as I am learning with the clinic I go to, nothing seems to go quickly or effortlessly... When I checked in the lady said that she would quickly get the order called in so my injection would be ready to go. Then they called me back and I sat waiting for several minutes before they took me in to draw my blood. (The nurses that draw the blood said it had been a super busy morning already. They had had as many people so far that day as they had all day the day before.) When the lady was getting the order ready for the blood draw she thought that they had the wrong test ordered so she called my nurse, Stephanie, and she said she would look into it. A few minutes later she called back and said that the test order was wrong and she would be by with the correct order. So they finally got the blood order right, then the nurse said that they would be by to take my blood pressure and then I could go. I told the nurse that I was supposed to have an injection today as well - she said she'd look into it. After probably at least a half hour of just sitting there, they finally got things sorted out and got the injection for me and administered it to me. (I heard that there was a little bit of hassle either from the pharmacy or the insurance because I am supposed to get the injection every 28 days and it had only been 27 days...) I was probably back in the office for almost an hour during which time my mom had to entertain MJ and Kay by wandering the halls with them and feeding them some snacks that she found in the diaper bag...

After we came home and ate lunch I took MJ outside to play while I sat in the sun and watched DH finish up his work. It was a little on the cold side, but the sun felt really good and MJ loved running around out there.

The rest of the day I really fluctuated between feeling good and not feeling good. My stomach was upset a little off and on and I had a hard time keeping a constant body temperature. One minute I would be freezing and then a half hour later I was dying of the heat. My feet and legs have been find today, but my fingers have been a little tingly lately. It hasn't affected me too much, but it is just kind of annoying. I've also had a bad headache off and on throughout the day. And wow my scalp hurts today - kind of a combination of itching and just general discomfort - especially when I touch it.

A couple of neighbors stopped by with dinner and one of the activity day girl groups stopped by with some cute turkey cupcakes they had made.

Yesterday was an okay day. More than anything I was just tired - not many other side effects except the tingling in the hands and feet. We had an excellent meal brought to us by a family in the ward.

This morning I took the girls over to a neighbor's house while I ran to the store. Unfortunately I think MJ cried almost the whole time I was gone. She's been a little under the weather lately because she is cutting her first set of molars.

Well, today I got my first Christmas present - a surgery date scheduled for December 21st... My choices were December 21st or January 4th, and with insurance rolling over to a new year in January, it makes more sense for us financially to have the surgery before the new year. My only wish now is that I will be out of the hospital by Christmas. On the other side it does give me more time than I initially thought I would have to get things ready for Christmas. I was initially thinking that the surgery would be the first or second week of December.

Tonight was pack meeting and Luke got his Webelos award and also his Arrow of Light. I'm grateful for the excellent Webelos leaders in the ward that have helped him earn these!

Hair, hair, it's everywhere! If it wasn't for the fact that the little hair I have looks cute when wearing a hat, I think I would have had DH shave it yesterday. My scalp is getting pretty sensitive - especially in the shower and at night. I'm still trying to figure out what is most comfortable for me to wear to bed at night on my head. Because I sleep with a special type of neck pillow, most of the hats are not staying on my head well or are just not comfortable to wear. I finally tried putting on a large head scarf last night and that seemed to work okay. I wonder if I can make myself something that would work better. I think I have some soft knit fabrics down in the storage room.

My bowels are not 100% right now, but at least I am not backed up... I spent a good chunk of the morning yesterday in the bathroom and then slept a good chunk of the afternoon. Our relief society president came over and helped with some cleaning. DH was hoping to work in the yard some, but the weather wasn't cooperating.

This morning I sent the family to church and stayed home with MJ. We went in a little later in time for Sacrament Meeting. I wore a hat there and felt fine with it. I had several compliments on it. I actually feel fine wearing the hats. I don't really feel self-conscious at all about wearing them - except when Kay tried to pull it off of me in Sacrament Meeting because she wanted to see my bald spot! I think that's going to be my biggest problem with the hats and wig - curious kids!

Other than that it was a pretty uneventful Sabbath Day. I've been kind of tired the last couple of days and the nerves in my feet and calves have been acting up a little - tingly and cold at times. My fingertips have the tingling just a little bit but it's not really bothering me at all.

I think I've been a little depressed the last day or two. It happens when I don't feel like I am needed. With everyone trying to come and help us out I feel like my place is being overtaken and that I don't serve a purpose anymore - not the way I like to feel... I like to be able to function normally and do things that I can do. I think it is going to be hard finding a balance point between doing things on my own and accepting the help of others. While I appreciate help from outside, I don't want or need it all the time at this point. Other than being a little tired, I feel like I am able to fully function and I enjoy doing things with my kids and being able to do things around the house. I even don't mind doing laundry and cleaning every now and then!

Tried out my new pillow last night. I think it will take me a couple of nights to get used to it. It's a little bit bigger than my previous one. I got up a couple of times again in the night. I'm trying to find the right combination of pills to take to keep my side effects down to a minimum this time around. So far I seem to be feeling better overall than following my first treatment. The only side effects that I've noticed today is a little bit of tiredness and a little bit of a headache off and on.

I feel like I was pretty productive today. A neighbor watched the girls for me this morning so I could run to the store. After that I took the girls home for lunch and then MJ and I took a little nap on the couch while Kay watched some TV. I was able to do most of the laundry today - now we just need to put it away. I went with DH to a couple of stores this evening and dinner was brought to us by the Stake Primary Presidency. I did have more of an appetite today, although the food still doesn't taste quite right. After dinner the older kids and DH and I stayed up to watch the last Harry Potter movie. I enjoyed it more than the previous one, but the ending seemed quite anti-climatic.

I slept okay last night. I kept having to get up to use the bathroom. They pump so many fluids into my body through the whole infusion process that I am constantly having to empty my bladder. Plus I am trying to up my fluid intake so I can try and be proactive in combatting the constipation issues this time around. I feel pretty good so far this morning. It's just taking me a while to get the girls taken care of so I can finally get myself in the shower!

I got a call from my oncology team nurse this morning. (BTW - her name is Stephanie too. I have had several nurses through this whole process that have been named Stephanie. It's been kind of weird.). Anyway, Stephanie called to give me my results from my latest CA-125 test which they did as part of my lab work yesterday. She said that the day before my first chemo treatment the number had jumped up to about 6200 (my initial test number was 5700) and yesterday my reading was 2227! She said that that was a very significant drop after just one chemo treatment and the whole team is very pleased with how well I appear to be responding to the chemo!

Side effects: We discussed my side effects yesterday and what I can do to try and minimize them after my second chemo treatment. My biggest problem last time was the constipation so we discussed starting taking the Senokot right away starting the day of my chemo. So I took some last night before bed. My next biggest side effect has been some tingling and loss of some feeling in my feet. The chemo drugs can affect the nerves and cause peripheral neuropathy. Right now it is not too severe, but it is something that I need to monitor. It kind of came and went off and on with my last treatment and was almost completely gone by yesterday. The nurse practitioner suggested I take some Vitamin B6 and possibly try an arthritis cream that has jalapenos in it and is supposed to help with the circulation and help warm up the feet. So far I haven't noticed it affecting my hands at all so I will keep my fingers crossed! I don't think there is much they can do for the chemo brain side effect - just rest. I was told that having a period after my first shot to shut down my ovaries is normal. Hopefully that will be the last one I will have to deal with. It is a shot that I will be getting monthly though until my surgery takes place.

Wow I lost a ton of hair today in the shower! I have a very obvious bald spot in the very front of my head. I think I will wear a hat if I go out at all today... I'm not quite ready to shave my head yet, but getting close to it. I'm not very excited about losing my hair, even though I am resigned to the fact that it is going to happen. That is one of the most obvious signs that a woman has cancer and is going through chemotherapy. Men have it easier because it is not uncommon to see bald men. Women on the other hand is a different story. My big concern is that I just want to lo normal and not stand out. I don't want to look sick even if I am. I'm getting a fairly big headache right now. I'm not sure if it is because of the chemo or my neck kind of hurting today. I got my new pillow from UPS today so hopefully that will improve my sleep at night.

DH stayed home today for a dentist appointment and then spent the remainder of the day working in the yard. I was feeling well enough that I took the elementary school kids to their parent/teacher conferences while DH cleaned up the yard work he had been working on. I wore one of my new hats that I had ordered and I thought it looked pretty cute, especially since I still have some hair underneath it. After I got back DH drove me out to the hospital to see my sister and her new baby - such a tiny, cute thing! I took some Tylenol for my headache and it finally kicked in just before we got to the hospital. After we got back home it took a little while to get the house cleaned up a bit and the kids off to bed.

Don't have much of an appetite today. I've had to force some food down just so I can have something in my stomach so I don't get nauseous. I hope I can get a good night's rest tonight!

My parents come over early to watch the kids for us. They see the older ones off to school and then stay with the two little ones the whole day. My almost two year old nephew also comes over to spend a good chunk of the day because my sister just had her second baby yesterday (3 weeks early) and will be in the hospital for a couple of days.

I have an appointment for blood work at 8:10 this morning and then meet with my oncology team shortly after that. Everyone keeps commenting on the fact that I still have hair, so that is a good thing! I didn't lose as much weight as I thought I had, but every little bit helps. They discuss some of my blood work tests and say that my whilte blood cell count dropped pretty low the second week, but was pretty much back to normal this week. All the other tests came back normal except my blood sugar level was a little elevated - they attribute that to the steroid I am on. We also discuss the symptoms that I have experienced and how to deal with them. The nurse practitioner feels my abdomen and she said that last time she saw me she could definitely feel the tumor and this time if she didn't know that it was there, she probably would not have noticed it. Yea! Some good news! Hopefully the chemo treatment is working well and I can only hope that the liver is being affected the same way.

Then we were walked over to the new infusion room that just opened up since my last infusion. We checked in at the front desk and then sat down in the waiting room for a few minutes until they called me back. All I can say is "Wow!" about the new infusion room! It is super spacious and a beautiful room. Each person has a ton more space than the old room, their own personal TV and Blu-ray player, and all the reclining chairs face huge open windows that look over the Salt Lake Valley. It's much more private than the old room because in the old room we were all facing each other and there was very little space between the chairs.

My infusion started about an hour sooner than last time, but we also had a third drug added that took 90 minutes to infuse. Things went a little quicker since it was my second time with the other drugs so we actually ended about the same time as last time. I reacted to the Benadryl again. It was almost an immediate reaction after they started it. It was really weird. I almost immediately started feeling woozy and lightheaded and had to lay down because I was afraid I was going to pass put if I didn't. Other than that the only other reaction I felt was a headache that came on during the second drug. I'm not sure though if it was the drug causing it or the chair that I couldn't seem to get comfortable in today. I laid down for a little bit and tried to sleep and then I felt better after a little while. I still have a small headache later, but it isn't too bad right now.

Other than that things were pretty uneventful. DH was with me most of the time (except when he got us lunch and used the restroom). He read a book and did some work on his laptop. I mostly did things on my ipad. I tried reading a little but had a hard tme concentrating on it.

We left the hospital a little after 5:00 and after listening to the traffic reports took an alternate drive home and ended up taking about an hour - much better than the hour and a half from last time.

My parents fed the kids the dinner that was brought over by a ward member and then DH and I ate when we got home. The little girls were particularly happy to see us when we arrived. Then DH went with M&M to our ward's YW in Excellence night.

Another fill in the blank:

Saturday, October 29
I woke up this morning with a ton of food cravings. I was laying there in bed and kept thinking about some different recipes that I am in the mood to try. I guess that means that my appetite and taste is coming back. I haven't enjoyed foods a lot since my chemo treatment - they all taste pretty bland to me. After I got up I wrote down some foods on my shopping list so that I can pick up the ingredients for some of them. Then I cooked myself some scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Monday, October 31
I've still been having a lot of cravings for food lately. If I didn't know it was impossible at this point, I might begin to wonder if I was pregnant...

More hair coming out again in the shower this morning. I'm actually surprised I still have as much on my head as I do. Every time I move my head, more seems to come out.

Ran a few more errands this mornng. I feel completely fine and normal... And I look totally healthy. Some sweet neighbors stopped by with a "blessing basket" in preparation for my chemo tomorrow. There were all kinds of nice little, thoughtful gifts inside. They said that many of our near neighbors contributed to it.

MJ's sleep schedule was really off yesterday and she ended up not going to bed until after 10:00. I packed some things to take with me to my infusion tomorrow, then take my steroid pills and go to bed.

My hair was really coming out in the shower this morning! There was so much by the time I got out that it had completely stopped up the drain. Thankfully I still look normal so I am just trying to do as little to it as I can right now. I had DH take a picture of me with my haircut before it all falls out! I spent the morning running a few errands with the girls. I'm trying to get as much done as I can while I'm still feeling well. The cramping is finally gone for the most part today.

I got one of my prescriptions transferred to our local pharmacy so we don't have to drive all the way to Huntsman to pick it up before my chemo on Wednesday. It is the steroid that I have to take the night before and morning of the chemo and either the insurance company or FDA won't let me refill it until 2 or 3 days before my next chemo treatment.

I made it to Sunday without losing all of my hair! That was my goal - that I would still look normal for church on Sunday. I took off the surgical tape from the smaller upper incision for my port. That one has healed very nicely and you can hardly see it - unless you're looking for it. It felt weird being at church today and feeling completely normal when I know that I am not. Lots of people came up to me asking how I was doing - and I told them honestly that I feel perfectly fine. It just seems odd...

Later on we went to my parents' house for dinner. I was able to facetime with one of my brothers while we were there. I love that we can do that for free!!

Some more fill-in the blanks:

Sunday, October 30
I wore a skirt to church today and some jeans after church that I haven't fit into in a long time. That felt pretty good.

Tuesday, November 1
I got a really sweet card in the mail today from someone in the ward. I continue to be amazed at how many people feel impacted by my diagnosis and how many people are praying for me and my family.

This morning DH and I went to a couple of stores. We looked at keyboards for my ipad. I would be blogging more consistently if I had a keyboard instead of having to use the on screen keyboard. I get frustrated when it takes me at least twice as long to type on the ipad than if I was sitting at the computer, hence I don't get to the blogging as often as I would like. We bought Cars 2 which we watched as a family for the first time this evening. Cute movie. I spent some time this afternoon putting away some clothes into storage and getting out some winter clothes. That right there is a full-time job when you have six kids! I also have a couple of bags for the D.I. when I get a free moment to drive over there.

I got a package today from FedEx. It has the wig and a couple of hats that I had ordered Monday evening. I'm nervous to look at the wig too closely. I think I will wait until my hair all falls out (or I shave it) before I really take it out and try it on! My hair is slowly but surely coming out. So far I don't think anyone can really tell. Once it starts looking obvious that it is thinning and not looking good I think I will have my husband just shave it off. I think that having it look really thin will make me look more sick than if I were to just shave it. Plus it's somewhat depressing seeing all of the hair that keeps falling out every time I touch my head...

Not a lot happened yesterday. I've had some severe cramping in my lower abdomen, but that has to do with some female issues that I wasn't supposed to have to deal with anymore. I will have to ask about that when I see the doctor next Wednesday...

Today the cramping has lessened some and M&M is home from school for thend of the quarter. I took her to get her pictures taken at J.C. Penneys and then we did some clothes shopping there. She has recently grown out of just about all of her jeans and we were able to find her several pairs there as well as some other things so it was a very productive shopping trip. We put away the Halloween decorations and got out the Harvest/Thanksgiving ones.

Later on Luke, Blondie and Kitty had piano lessons and I went grocery shopping while M&M watched the little girls. I also picked up a movie from Redbox which we watched later that evening. I'm trying to get as much done as I can while I am still feeling well! I figure I have until next Wednesday and then we will start the process all over again.

The incision for my port has been bothering me today so I put a big band-aid over it. Now hopefully my clothes won't irritate it anymore while it is trying to heal.

I think I finally slept well last night and went to sleep at a decent hour again. I also didn't notice any significant hair loss this morning after my shower. I took off the last of the surgical tape over the incision where my port was put in. It is a larger incision than I thought it would be - probably a little longer than an inch across. The tape has been rubbing against my clothes and been kind of annoying which is why I took if off the rest of the way. It is a little tender still, but feeling better than it has.

My parents came by this morning so my mom can watch the girls while my dad takes me to Huntsman for my blood draw. I feel well enough to drive myself, but he wants to drive me. This time it is a very quick, uneventful visit to Huntsman. I checked in at the desk and then sat down for about 30 seconds before they called me back. They immediately took my blood pressure (which was a little high) and then she had me sit down for about another 30 seconds and then the nurse came out to take me into the room for my blood draw from my port. She was getting it all setup to access my port and was about to poke me with the needle when I realized that I hadn't put on the numbing cream before I left home! I thought about saying something because the nurse last week told me that if I ever forgot they could put some on there before they access the port. I decided just to suck it up and try it without anything - and I hardly felt it at all. It felt a little sore on my way out of the office, but I think it was just from the pressure of it being pushed on and still in the process of healing. I don't think I was there in the office for more than 15-20 minutes total.

The ward has arranged to provide a meal for us each Wednesday so we had one brought over by some neighbors of ours. I love the homemade breads and rolls that people have been making for us!

My milk is almost completely dried up - finally! I can now hold my little girls on my lap without it hurting me!

Filling in some blanks:

Here is some info that I forgot to add to some of my posts. I will add it to the correct day, but wanted to add a separate post for those that are already up-to-date on reading my previous posts.

Monday, October 17
I got a call this morning from the director of Sounds of the Season. I was going to email her today to let her know what is going on with me, but apparently someone beat me to it. I have been debating what to tell her and what to do about it this year. I would love to play with the group again because it is something that I really enjoy doing, but I'm not sure if it is something that I will even be able to do this year. Plus it is looking like my surgery will most likely be scheduled sometime in the first week or two of December - right around the performance time of the group. Well, the director basically told me that she doesn't want me to participate this year because of everything I will be going through and that I need to just focus on myself and my family and getting myself better so that I can come back next year. I am kind of sad, but know that this is for the best with everyone's best interest in mind. The last thing I want to do is have them plan on me to play with the group and then not be able to do it when the time comes.


Wednesday, October 19
I got my first flu shot today. I asked DH on our way to Huntsman if he thought that the doctor would want me to get a flu shot with everything that will going on with my immune system during my treatments. Well, DH asked the doctor while we were meeting with her and without hesitation she said, "Yes, we'll do that right now." So the nurse went off and got the papers for me to sign and gave me the shot right there before we left. I didn't even have time to think about it. DH also decided that he should probably get a shot as well this year so he did a couple of days later at work.


Thursday, October 20
Before I left the infusion room they gave me a shot of something that is supposed to shut down my ovaries. One of the absolute worst things that could happen right now would be for me to get pregnant while I am going through chemotherapy and having all of these drugs pumped into my body. They said that one of the side effects of the shot can be hot flashes - basically like I am going through menopause. What fun! Not only do I have the chemo drugs in me that will have who knows what side effects on my body, but I also may have menopause like side effects from this shot!


Friday, October 28
Today is the first day I have worn jeans in a while. I have mostly just been lounging around the house in sweats and workout type pants. I have lost some weight because the jeans that I usually wear are practically falling off of me. I think it a combination of not having a big appetite lately, stopping breastfeeding and hopefully the tumor shrinking...

I think I need a new pillow. I finally went to sleep at a decent hour last night, but I don't think I slept too well and I woke up with a headache. That's always bad news for me. It usually means that my neck is out of whack and the headache will get progressively worse throughout the day. I also had some weird dreams last night about waking up and finding clumps of my hair had fallen out in the night... I am able to manage through the day without taking anything for my headache, but then take some Tylenol before bedtime. I didn't take a nap again in hopes that I will get another good night of rest.

When I showered and brushed my hair this morning, I didn't notice any hair coming out so I am crossing my fingers! Hopefully cutting my hair will slow down the process. I'm nervous to even touch my hair during the day for fear that too much contact will make it fall out quicker!

A friend watches the girls for me this morning so I can make a run to the store again. It is definitely a much easier task without my kids with me. It's a pretty normal day for me and I feel fine. How can I feel so normal and healthy with something so deadly inside of me? It just doesn't seem possible...

I get an email this afternoon from the company I ordered the wig from saying that the package has been shipped! Talk about quick service!! I'm nervous/excited all at the same time. The estimated delivery date is next Monday.

We had a primary presidency meeting this evening. Wonderful ladies that I serve with. It is definitely a frustrating calling at times though! We seem to have so many callings that we are always trying to fill and not enough people to pick from! We have a lot on our plates to deal with and lots to prepare for when the kids all move up classes in January. I hope I am able to stay healthy enough to fulfill my calling and not need to be released. Right now I am able to manage just fine, but unfortunately I know that there are many rough days ahead of me. I know that it is a concern of the bishop (and stake president), especially since our president is dealing with her own major health issues.

Happy Halloween! Well, I had a hard time falling asleep last night AGAIN!! This time I stayed up updating my blog until about 1:00 in the morning. I think I fell asleep around 1:30.

Well, it's started. I showered this morning and then started brushing my hair and it was coming out in much larger amounts than it ever has before. I'm nervous to lose my hair. It has gotten really long lately and I was planning on cutting it until I was diagnosed with cancer and found out that my hair would be falling out. Then my thought was, "I'm not going to pay to have my hair cut just to have it fall out a couple of weeks later."

My dad came over this afternoon to watch MJ so that Kay and I (and my mom) could go to the school parade. I think Kay enjoyed the one on one attention. After that I put MJ down for a nap and then read for a little bit. I am going to try and not nap at all today in hopes that I will be really tired at bedtime and actually fall asleep at a decent hour. I'm not sure why I'm not just dropping off from sheer exhaustion with the lack of sleep I have had the last few nights!

When Blondie came in the door from school she immediately asked me if Kitty was here. I told her no and asked if she was on the bus. Apparently she wasn't and Blondie and Luke just assumed that I had taken her home after the school parade. I quickly run out to the car and take off for the school. I tell the kids that if Kitty or someone from the school calls, to tell them that I am on my way to school and then to call my cell phone so I know she called. All kinds of thoughts run through my head about what may have happened to her. As I pull up to the school I see Kitty running at full speed towards the school. I turn into the drive-through lane and honk my horn, hoping she will stop, but she keeps going and runs in the school as I pull up to the door. I roll down my window and yell her name and luckily she hears me and runs back out. She is somewhat hysterical and it takes her a few minutes to calm down before I can figure out what happened. Apparently she got out of class after the bus had already left so she went over to to car pickup lane and waited for me there, assuming that I would come pick her up. Kids just kept leaving and leaving until there was only one kid and her out there. I think the parent of the other kid told her to go to the office and call home and that's when I pulled up and saw her running to the front door of the school. What I can't figure out is why the administrators would leave a 1st grader out there in front of the school by herself. I think I will have to look into that. And, we went over what she should do next time if she ever misses the bus next time. (Thankfully this happened at a time where I was well enough to immediately leave the house and go pick her up.)

The weather was perfect for Trick-or-Treating! The kids had a good time and I stayed home with MJ and M&M handing out candy. After we got the kids to bed I asked DH to cut my hair. After thinking about it a little I decided that my hair will probably fall out more slowly if it is shorter - less tangles to have to brush out. Plus I'm not keen on the idea of having long hair all over the house as it falls out... So I put my hair in a ponytail and had DH cut off the ponytail just about the ponytail holder. The I just trimmed a few hairs here and there and we all think it looks pretty good. I put the ponytail in a ziploc bag and I am going to save it. After that I went online and ordered a couple of hats and a wig. Wow that sounds weird! Hopefully I will get it shortly and that I will like the wig. DH and M&M and I spent quite a while trying to decide on the style and the color to order. We all just want it to look natural and not look like I have a cheap wig on my head. Here's to hoping!!

I couldn't fall asleep again last night! I'm not sure what is going on with me. I got up and read again and this time I think I fell asleep around 3:00, so a little bit better than the night before. The weird thing was that when I got up at 7:30 to get ready for church, I didn't feel super tired. Unfortunately, I didn't give myself time to get everyone and myself ready so I ended up sending everyone to church and then MJ and I followed about 20 minutes later. Church was fine. People are still finding out the news about me and I think many people are surprised when they see me there. I had a meeting after church and then came home and laid down for a little bit. We had a TON of people stop by after church or call on the phone to see how I was doing and ask how they could help and to drop by goodies for our family! I feel so loved at this time! I hope that I can return the favors one day!

We carved our pumpkins tonight and then I Facetimed with my younger brother. Pretty cool technology!

I think my bowels are finally starting to work correctly again. Not a necessarily pleasant thought to think about (or write about), but I want to document what I am going through at this time. The Senokot has worked much better for me than the Miralax - just in case you were interested. :)

For some reason I had the hardest time falling asleep last night. DH and I watched a movie after the kids went to bed and it ended at around 12:30. We then went upstairs to bed and I could not fall asleep! I finally went downstairs and sat in the kitchen reading for a little while until I was super cold and too lazy to go downstairs to get a blanket. I think I finally fell asleep around 4:30...

Finally a Saturday with no soccer games! Today we need to clean, clean, clean the house and then if there is time, carve our pumpkins. I got out our old Halloween costumes to find something for Kay to wear and all of the kids thought it was fun trying on the old costumes. Most of them are homemade and it's fun seeing them on the younger kids. Luke was able to pull together a Jedi costume so I don't have to go out and try and find something for him at the store - Yea!

I made homemade pizza on the grill tonight. It's pretty fun to do and the whole family loves it (except for Blondie). For some reason, Blondie does not like any of the homemade pizza I make... We had a little bit of a grease fire in the grill that I finally used some baking soda to extinguish. Then I cleaned out all the built up stuff in the bottom of the grill before I attempting to grill the pizzas again. After we were all cleaned up from dinner and the kids were finally finished cleaning their rooms and assigned rooms, it was too late to carve pumpkins. DH and I decided that that would be an okay family activity for Sunday, so we will do it tomorrow evening.

I am in some pain from my milk still not having dried up. My chest is very tender and it kills whenever MJ leans against me. It has been almost 2 weeks since I last nursed her. I was mostly just feeding her on the left side here towards the end (she was never a great nurser on my right side) so I am tender on the left from that and then on my right side is where my port was placed so I'm also tender on that side! Hopefully one of these days I will be able to hold MJ to me and not have it hurt... Everything that I have read said to just let it dry up without doing anything special and it may take 2-3 weeks to finally dry up. I have been sleeping with an ice pack on my chest and that helps to relieve some of the pain.

I woke up feeling a little nauseous in the middle of the night but it passed quickly. I'm not sure if it was a side effect of the chemo or because my stomach was empty. I took one of my anti-nausea medications and ate a little something and then went back to sleep. Other then that I've felt pretty good all day. My relief society president is an elementary school teacher and she is currently off-track and has been wanting to help me out so I had her watch the girls for me this morning so I could run a few errands and do some grocery shopping without them. It was nice to be able to get out and get a few things done. I also picked up a different constipation medicine to see if it will work better for me. My insides are still not feeling quite right. Got some laundry done today. Unfortunately one thing that is never-ending in a family of 8!

Our neighbor who went through chemo came by this afternoon to lend me her hats and scarves. She also had checked out a book from the library for me that she said she used when she lost her hair. It shows you how to draw eyebrows on your face and other makeup tips to help you look more natural while going through treatment. She also bought the makeup pencils and brush for me at the store! Such a thoughtful person!

I woke up this morning and thought, "Wow! I finally have a clear head! I can think straight!" I realize that I have been really foggy brained the last three days and just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. It's like my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders the last couple of days. (When I mentioned it to our neighbor who went through chemo she asked if I had ever heard the term "chemo brain". Apparently that is what I was experiencing.) I also finally had a good night's sleep. I sent DH to work and then sat around the house playing with the kids and trying to get some things done here and there. It's nice to finally be able to think clearly! M&M has her final soccer game this evening and I actually think I may go to it. I also have a stake auxiliary leadership meeting this evening. Maybe I'll feel well enough to attend that as well.

I load all of the kids into the car for M&M's game. The field she'll be playing at has a nice playground right next to the soccer field so it will probably be nice for the kids to get out and have some fun while we're there. DH will be stopping by the game on his way home from work. The weather is a little chilly at first and then gets really cold once the sun goes down. I end up leaving just after halftime because the kids are getting cold and they're not doing a good job of watching the little ones. I go home with the four youngest and warm up leftovers for dinner. MJ is starving so I'm having to feed her and can't take the time to get myself ready for my meeting. DH finally gets home from the game right at 7:00 (when my meeting starts). I turn MJ over to him and the older kids and run upstairs to quickly change and get myself ready for my meeting. I get there about 15 minutes late and wander around the building a few minutes trying to figure out where I am supposed to be. It's a good meeting. I'm glad I went. I had a TON of people come up to me afterwards and give me hugs and wish me well and tell me that I'm in their prayers and asking how they can help. It's been very overwhelming and touching how many people want to help me and my family. It's also very humbling to realize that I/we need those prayers and appreciate them. Somehow through all of this there is something that I need to learn and hopefully I will end up a better & stronger person.

Today I have to go to Huntsman to have my blood drawn. I slept a little better last night, but not great. M&M is supposed to have a meeting with a school counselor and one of her parents this morning to discuss what classes she wants to take over the next few years. I had already talked to DH about going to it with her and then going into work right afterwards. My parents are coming over so my mom can sit with the kids while my dad drives me to Huntsman. DH ends up just coming and working from home after the meeting at school. My parents came over earlier than I was expecting them and I haven't even gotten in the shower yet. Not quite feeling myself again this morning. I feel a little lightheaded again and have been a little nauseous again. I finally get in the shower and get myself ready to go.

We get to the clinic and I check in and then wait to be called back. At one point my dad said that the nurse that came out called my name so I got up and followed her. She took me back and weighed me and took my pulse and then took me into an examining room to take my blood pressure and she asked me a few questions about pain and how I was feeling. I was a little confused by all of this because I thought that they would just draw my blood and then I would be sent on my way. The nurse that was doing all of this said that she was a new nurse and she had another nurse with her who was making sure that she did everything correctly. Well, then she said, "Okay, you need to get undressed from the waist down and put this drape over your legs and the doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes."

I said, "Now, why do I need to do this? I'm just here for a blood draw for lab work."

The nurses look at each other. "Um, what's your last name?"

I tell her and she looks at her chart kind of puzzled and said, "Is your first name Leslie?"

"No, it's Stephanie," I say.

Apparently my dad heard a name that sounded like mine and since I was a little foggy brained that day and didn't even hear the nurse at all, I went with the wrong nurse! And not once did either of those nurses refer to me by name or ask me my name or my date of birth (which is something that they seem to be doing every five minutes they are meeting with you to make sure they have the right person). So my weight and pulse and blood pressure were all marked on someone else's chart!! (I just have to chuckle every time I think about this!)

Well, the nurse quickly takes me out of that room and has me sit down in a chair in the hallway while she figures out where I am supposed to be. She hands me over to one of the nurses that I recognize who draws blood there, but when she takes me to the regular blood draw area I mention to her that I have a port which is done in a separate room there. So she has me sit back down in the hallway and hands my orders over to another nurse. That nurse then takes my blood pressure (which is something that has to be done each week as part of the clinical trial I am in) and tells me to just sit and wait and then she walks off. So I sit and wait and sit and wait and finally after about 10-15 minutes I begin to wonder if they even know I am there. Just then the social worker from my oncology team walks by and recognizes me (and remembers my name even). She stops by to talk to me for a minute and I mention to her that I'm not even sure if they know I am here and she said that she would ask. It turns out that I was in the right place, but they already had a patient that they were currently working on so I just had to wait a few more minutes. Wow, what an exciting day so far!

Finally the nurse that works with ports comes out and gets me and takes me back where I will go from now on to have my port accessed each week. (And the first thing she asked me when I sat down was what my full name and date of birth were.) It was quite the sterile procedure - using gloves, face mask, all the tools straight out of sterile packing that they sit and open there right at the table. I put the numbing cream on my port before I left home so I didn't really feel any of it. I also didn't watch because I get queasy around blood and I have learned that I can't watch when I have needles poked into me or I will pass out. Every time I have to close my eyes and turn away and try and think about something else. It was quite weird knowing that she was poking into my chest though and I tried not to think about it while she was doing it. The nurse just had to draw one vial of blood and then she slapped a bandaid on me and sent me on my way.

I made my way back out to the waiting room where my dad was waiting and I sat down and told him that they hadn't called my name at all! He thought that that meant that I hadn't even been seen yet, but luckily that wasn't the case. (I hope the nurse that was training the other nurse felt stupid for that whole fiasco!) We then went back to the car and drove home. My dad then had to go and visit one of his patients (he spends several hours a week helping out some homebound people through a volunteer program) so my mom stayed to help out with the kids while I tried to take a nap. We had another dinner brought in that evening from the other counselor in the primary presidency.